| 30.4.04 |
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whole klass came up to me during their practical to apologise...
which was rather embarassing actually... coz the teacher who was conducting the lesson was thinking what was going on.. they really look sincere... or at least i was made to believe so... guys came up to ask whether i cried... girls were almost coaxing me, asking me not to stay angry with them... josephine was even telling me that they actually wanted to look for me during lunch and apologise as a klass... but they couldnt get everyone... how to stay angry, you tell me... which brings me to the point... i wasnt actually THAT angry with them... i just reasoned with them in a monotone voice... that i din appreciate them not paying attention.. and when the bell rang... simply say "klass you're dismissed..." and walk out without another word... man... think it really scared them a good deal... i admit... i was upset... but i guess i really cant ask for more right now... other teachers tell me abt their klasses... and those students dont even pay attention or bothers when the teacher scolds them... that they dont respond in klass and everything... think i have a great klass already... maybe i compare them to 212 a tad too much... am invited to 208's BBQ tmr... heh... that's fast eh? told them i'll only go if i have a limousine to pick me... they sacrificially offered wenze to piggyback me.. crazy pple... havent decided whether or not to go... will decide soon... mr cia brought us out to eat today... had duck rice and noodles at the food court nearby... the food was good... and not that expensive... so it was great... talked alot of crap with mr cia on the way there... found out he's 28... that he actually thought jas was in her 20s... din managed to dig an answer from him abt how old he thought i was... oh well... told him i scored a C5 for my ao chinese... he simply shook his head... muahahha... spoke of office politics... work life... him being a realist... and us, optimists... not the little bathtub sailors... our uni stuff... and crap crap crap... he's great la... cant ask for more in a colleague... did i mention he happily offered to treat again end next month??? muahhahaa... ----Stef stopped rambling at 19:47 --Link to Post |
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administered two tests today...
one for 208... and another for the klass with the bballer... coz the teacher is sick... 208 made me scold them again... quite sick of treating them like kids.. but dont see why i should continue trying my best to help them when they dont even want to help themselves... made myself available for them all the time to consult me on mole concept... which they were taught when i wasnt ard... but few actually did... and more than two-thirds ending up failing the test... marked the paper after i left the klass... after i told them i was seeing no point in going thru concepts when they were giggling at their own joke... feel bad that i have to scold the whole klass when the culprits are oni a few of them... but i had to... one of them sms-ed on behalf of the klass to apologise... while i am heartened... it just goes to show the amount of respect i actually command in their klass... which is disheartening... i really tried my best... its not that i want prefer 212... but we really get along better... coz at least the pple there do listen to me... i'm really tired... havent been sleeping well of late... just glad its a friday... wonder if 486 and friends are playing ball this weekend... need workout of some sort man... ate alot today... and seriously... i'm back to the i-eat-becoz-i-am-supposed-to lifestyle... plz give me more assignments, dear HOD... it'll keep my sanity in check... and my weight constant... talking abt food... mr cia's gonna be treating us later... muahhaha... yummy.. free food alwaz tastes good... which reminds me... ben k... you're supposed to treat dinner next week... see... this is my i-eat-becoz-i-am-supposed-to theory... why pass up on something like dat just coz of an ill-timed diet? you know what i really dislike... pple who think they are drop-dead gorgeous... when they really arent... keke... my judgement might be a little flawed in that... but c'mon.. relating to you stories which hopefully hints to you succintly that pple DO find them attractive... telling you that so-and-so made a pass at them.. or what not... find that abit trying-too-hard... coz man... if they really are that drop-dead gorgeous... they wouldnt have to TELL me or anyone for that matter... coz we KNOW... thing is they arent... thats why they have to dupe the world into thinking that they are... by telling us someone else thought so... so we should too.... think its starting to sound like sour grapes.. but i dont care... dont these pple realise that they kinda ridicule themselves that way? they need the rewind and playback buttons, dont they? i admit... i ridicule myself everyday... but seriously.. in this way? man... it's quite hard to swallow... what the hell is my prb today??? realised i'm probably the oni active blogger in my circle of friends... dont really know how many pple actually read this... and whether i need to censor or rewrite any of this for your reading pleasure... do i look as if i care? heh... thing is... i admit i do sound irritating and immature sometimes... but its better to act like a spoilt brat who has a prb with the whole wide world HERE.. than BE a spoilt brat who has a prb with the whole wide world in reality... i'm just a coward hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet... the introverted Singaporean unwilling to get herself heard... one who is having a terrible headache... one whose brain is threatening self destruction in "5....4....3..." but quite frankly i think life has been pretty kind to me till now... like i was telling edward last nite... i was probably kept jobless for the longest time so that i'll get this job now... a job that is, indeed, an enriching experience... students/colleagues of various kinds... (one that pays ok as well...) another sms from 208... at least now i dont feel so shortchanged having to stay back all the way from the morning till late afternoon... just to sit in for their pract that i dont have to attend... but attend coz they prefer asking me questions than the other teacher... the other teacher is great too, btw... just that these kids have this i-dont-really-like-him mentality that they cant shake... i guess till they can... i'll probably burn all my fridays this way... unecessarily... ----Stef stopped rambling at 11:38 --Link to Post |
| 29.4.04 |
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simply adore class 212...
its probably the oni klass where i will end my lesson with... "k... thats the end of the lesson... if you guys got questions we'll meet at the study area behind the assembly grd..." and i'll walk down to see more than half the klass there... even though not all of them have questions... we have a great relationship really... thing is... they treat me as a fren enough to wave at me when we see each other along corridors... yet they respect me enough to greet me, thank me and stuff... hard to explain... but i kinda enjoy helping them understand cheem concepts... stuff that i, as a student, never really understood coz i just simply refused to approach the teachers... so i train 'specialists' amongst my students... those who approach me... drilling them on certain concepts and getting the rest to approach them should they need help on it... i guess helping pple reinforces your knowledge... so really... they're actually helping themselves and each other... today i had consultations with quite a number of them... esp abt the shapes of molecules... coz mr lim kinda rushed abit thru it... tough to lecture on such a topic... it's an amazing feeling when you see their face light up like that when the grasp the idea... finally... gives you a temporary high... instantaneous dipole-induced dipole... that feels damn good... was in lecture today... spoke to the guy who we played bball with... i think guys like that are pretty cool... good-lookers with no-airs... hard to come by really... din realise his klassmate played with us that day too... until he saw me and screamed "screened methyl orange"... he's the funnie guy who came over to the teachers' team midway... wanted to call him to pass him the ball but dunnoe what to call him... until i heard his team mates calling him tau gay... hehhe... cute stuff... i'm infatuated... not really.. not exactly... entirely... muahaha... just saw this guy in the bus... he aint good looking... but i guess he just exludes a certain charm... maybe its just his clothes... that were ultra nice... think it was a white ralph lauren shirt... and blue jeans... he had yujin's built... though abit smaller... adrian's look... and probably samuel's tan... i think it was simply that i've alwaz thought tanned guys look ultra great in white shirts and cropped hair... explaining why i forced sam to buy whites back in pattaya... and oh yes! i touched his hair!!!! coz my hand was on the grab poles... and he rested his head on it... before i shifted and he, taken aback... awww.... i touched his hair... *dazed* k... that was lame... just need something to blab abt la... life's getting a tad too monotonous for me... but stressful... dad's really worried abt my sleeping habits... he's suspecting some sleep disorder... asked me to take up yoga or something... stress relief... man... i want to... if only he sponsors... i'm not quite done with sponging off my parents really... hehhe... hard earned money is really quite hard to spend... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:26 --Link to Post |
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blogging from sch again...
quite a busy morning actually... had practs lined up... stuff to type... stuff to print... but amazingly done next to everything already... finished something due tomorrow, today... lurve this kinda no-brainer work... easy to do... but i'll get bored quite easily... so the best is having nuggets of no-brainer assignments... that'll keep my interest in place... and my brain cells alive... try not to make me work with Word... they kinda make my blood boil... was teaching jas alot of shortcuts to use... man was she impressed... i guess when you lock me up at the tuition centre with Microsoft Word as my only companion... i would probably learn alot abt it... not exactly... but i guess the skills sufficed... just to ensure survival in the world of technology... did i mention? think shufang had a cameo on the chn 5 series, Incredible Tales, the other day... the girl who walked into the computer lab and asked if there was a klass held there... quite a coincidence that i spotted her... coz i just happened to turn ard to the TV... wasnt really watching it.. hadnt got a chance to ask her... dont even remember if her number is still on my HP... lost it just the other time... teachers ard look a little zombified already.. working with students does actually drain you of your energy... like mrs bong mentioned... us, RTs, probably had more patience than perms coz we're oni doing this for a short period of time... so we probably wont crack so easily... mr lim was practically knocking out when i consulted him on a question regarding the dreaded molecular orbital overlaps... well... i'm still bouncing ard... bickering with jasmine... disturbing stella... who is, by the way, buried head to toes in marking... having a terrible time with some who cant draw a proper graph with regards to price and demand ... even me, an econs bai-chi, knows that when price increases, demand falls... insert the phrase that coolly states that all other factors remain constant... had an interesting conversation over lunch today... i guess thats what you get when you eat with smart pple... namely a physics teacher (mrs bong)... and a chinese scholar RT who really really wanna go UK to take physics... there were jokes that me, stella and jas couldnt really catch.... but there were stuff that mrs bong said that were indeed some food for thought... something that went... "the bigger the island of knowledge... the longer the coastline of wonder..." when we were talking abt physics being a subject that in order to score in the 'A' levels... you cant really try to understand everything... just know how to regurgitate and apply... coz many times... we arent taught of the WHY in a phenomenon... therefore the longer the coastline of wonder... then they went on to say that area increases at a greater rate than circumference... then the dy/dx came flying all ard... the suggestion that "volume vs surface-area" was a better analogy... but we concluded... the stupid pple... that the best suggestion came from mrs bong... "the bigger the keropok of knowledge... the more the oil of wonder..." while munching on a piece... that was the ultimate... i love her to bits... the funkiest pregnant lady ever... ----Stef stopped rambling at 10:48 --Link to Post |
| 28.4.04 |
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done with the CGH interview...
am glad... that although it wasnt as smooth as i would like it to be... it was probably 10 times better than the USP interview... at least I was satisfied with my own answers... and the only time i was almost dumbfounded... was when they asked abt my WITS project... which i totally forgot abt... considering it had been so long ago... consolation is... the atmosphere of the interview was relaxed... coz the two female interviewers were utterly kind... by laughing when i expected them to... and they made me feel as if they were enjoying the conversation... for which i am glad... mentioned my sis moving on from a speech disorder to become a school debater and MC for national science presentations... mentioned my parents thinking of the letter CGH sent as a sign, a calling... for something i should do in life... just hope i'll be able to sleep these couple of weeks... i wont be too disappointed if i dont get this... but i guess i DO want it... ate prawn noodles with dad prior to that... man, it was good... been some time since we last went there... realised that it was usually just the two of us.. which other dad shells the prawns for his children? i'm sure there are others... but just glad that my dad is one of them... love him to bits... aint gonna stop saying it... feel like playing bball tmr... but stella and jasmine are teaching tuition... and mr sung's probably very very busy... so.... probably not.. thurs is after all a long day... just hope i'll survive it... conducting a test for 212 tmr... the klasses found it really difficult... and werent even halfway thru the paper when time was up... crazy stuff... jas and i both did it... and concluded that it was the kinda paper i'll excel in... recall: stupid questions which need stupid pple to come up with stupid solutions for? precisely... me and my shortcut methods for this topic will work for this paper... cannot follow by the rules and find every answer from scratch... coz it wouldnt work... hope my klasses will survive it... *prays* james was suggesting a short holiday together after his finals... quite frankly... i'm rather unwillingly to part with my hard earned money this way... like mr teo mentioned before... us, students, have all the time in the world... just not the money to do what we want... while pple their age... usually have the money to do what they want... just not the time to do it... maybe should just backpack to thailand... that'll be cool! but heard the water fest is over liaoz... read abt it on gerald's blog... darn... ----Stef stopped rambling at 17:18 --Link to Post |
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another cheem concept to understand today...
and it has got my head in a mess since morning... gawd... dont even study this hard for my 'A' levels... wonder if all this was worth the headache... regret not studying seriously abt sp hybridisation back in AJ... it'll help me alot alot now if i did... =P mr sung has been suaning me abt my extortion of treats... oh well.. it aint that bad... so far oni him and mr cia... mr lam offered to treat us drinks out of goodwill... not my fault! but thats not including the treats i extort OUT of sch... oops... ----Stef stopped rambling at 11:14 --Link to Post |
| 27.4.04 |
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just managed to dig out all my testimonials, originals of certs...
(certification to prove i'm mentally sound) frankly... i'm not even a little prepared... and am kinda freaking out... thing about interviews for me... realised that the more i prepare the worse it screws up... but oh... i have to stick to the mentality that hard work does pay off... so i'm gonna try to research as much as possible... as far as my fatigued mind can take me... nice daddy's gonna give me a lift to CGH tomorrow... think parents are kinda excited abt the scholarship... =P think i'll only end up disappointing them... *bish* not supposed to think that way ya? confidence is very important... like wad mr lim alwaz says... even if he was dishing out the most boring of lectures... confidence lets him feel as if its the most interesting one ard.... talking abt mr lim... man... jas and i were like shocked when he brought tissue to the canteen... impressed to say the least... coz we didnt... and we were supposed to ya... its a girl thing... thing is... realised that there is an increasing number of guys who actually do that.. who makes it a point to carry tissue with them... SML would know who i am refering to in klass... man... these are the kinda pple who make girls (who dont give a damn) look bad... guilty as charged! ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:32 --Link to Post |
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klass in 20 mins...
but i'm getting a good kick out of blogging from work... ya know... the idea of not working when i'm supposed to... but the day has been ok so far... grasped a couple of cheem concepts... finally... and solved a question that some of the other teachers cannot solve... coz its TOO simple... and the complexity of their thoughts complicate the whole thing... so ideally... you need stupid pple to solve stupid questions... pple like me... 208's tutorial was tough... girls very quiet... guys very noisy... even when i ask the girls questions... the guys will just shout their answer... great to have responsive pple... but thing is... its tough to involve the girls... and they tend to get bored easily... find it difficult to get myself heard really... oh well... one of the boys was a little out of character... can tell something is wrong... but he doesnt really wanna tell me... lets hope its just that he's tired... and not have him quitting JC like some others mentioned to me... stella's not in school today... seems that she's really really sick... not a person who will pass on the chance of earning 65 bucks... lets hope she gets better and comes to school tomorrow... miss her... though i still have pple to eat with... having more pple ard you is alwaz comforting... samuel asked me to go for gym today... said that qiaoling was going too... somehow i dont mind... but i dont wanna see andrew you know... and answer for why i have been skipping training all these while... miss training will my favourite idiot... trying to match up to his revs/min on the rowing machine... whick is impossible btw... am slowly giving up wsfing... reluctantly though... think it'll be funnie if i hang ard and wait for my frens to watch movie with me at 6plus... when they finish work... probably just treat it as an early day and go home to sleep... actually... a more pressing issue would be that of researching for my interview tomorrow... i need to actually find out more abt speech pathology and all... wish me luck for that... i'll need all of it and more... any tips on how not to irritate your interviewer and leave a good impression... pls tag on my board... thanks a bunch guys... ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:13 --Link to Post |
| 26.4.04 |
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woohoo!
greet monday... day of headache over the epson scanner... headache over mole concept... and the eeky double indicator practical... i really need more chem knowledge... feels as if i'm taking the 'A' levels all over again... other than that... played great bball after sch today... after pract... jas and i practically ran to the staff room... changed.. and tried to beat the rain... we did... played with mr sung and ms teo... and lotsa kids... taught one of them before... while relieving ms goh's klasses... din know he's in the sch team... one of the nice students... plays really well too... and mr sung's student... who alwaz asks me questions when i sit in his klass was good too.. lacking in height... but gosh... these pple can really jump... i grew too lazy to jump for rebounds... anyway... my timing to grab rebounds really suck... besides... when i jump... it doesnt make much difference... they dont even have to jump to reach higher than me... great workout... really... stupid me wore black though... thought the extra prespiration would assist in losing weight... dream on! alot of my students... present and past did a double take when they saw us playing... think i look a little too fat to be playing bball... oh well... they're bound to comment tomorrow when i see them in klass... great games... teachers won again... probably becoz most of them are our students... they fear we fail them during tests... muahaha... we are most powerful... but my ankles are like dead lor... was limping home in my new sandals... they're not even high... purposely bought almost-flats... crushed my left toe against some guy... reminder: thats my fractured toe... that really hurt for ages... think my shoes really suck... esp since its the nike woven ones... half imagined my toes to start sticking out of the shoe when i make an e-brake... think i was a little cartoon as well.. while guarding ms teo... she said i reminded her of a mouse... coz i was trying to change direction... keke... before i bore my readers to death with crap... have a farnie joke... jas offered to screen the guy for me... then she looked at her orange tee shirt... and shouted... screened methyl orange! damn cold... but everyone started laughing... i passed the ball to mr sung and collapsed on the floor... he had no one to pass to... coz we were laughing too hard... bo pian what... the kids were playing with the chem department... lame chem jokes... like samuel mentioned... RTs are usually lame and crappy... thats me and jas! i had fun... really... now backache, ankle pain, arms weak... old liao old liaoz... i guess sports keeps you alive and healthy... i'm alive... but still fat though... caught a guy giving the teacher i was shadowing the middle finger... behind the teacher's back... talked to him after class... the student... but he sounded repentful enough... it was just wrong... i mean regardless of how you dislike the teacher... the basic respect and decency should be observed... dont think i ever served that to andrew... the finger.. even though i disliked him loads... oh well... i guess not everyone is as well-behaved as me... *innocent smile* muahahaa... coz i gave him the little finger! okok... i admit... not funnie... at least i TRIED! ben k cancelled on me again... citing a hectic week... so no dinner tmr... darn... realised that whenever i try to ask pple out... i keep getting rejected... shan't try anymore... *pouts* shall try to grab 486 for kill bill tmr... long day tmr... ciaoz... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:14 --Link to Post |
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fantastic.
i'm supposed to be working hard... but i finished typing stuff i'm supposed to type... and my students happily refused to hand in their tutorials... so i have nuthing to mark... was a little angry... to say the least.. but i dont see why i should kill my happy cells just becoz of them... approximately 10 from each klass who werent taking chem in the first 3 mths... it's their business that i cant spot their mistakes before the test tomorrow... that i cant correct them before its too late... oni one boy from each klass handed in to me on time last week... the good kids... for that alone i am glad... stella's sick... quite a poor thing actually... the econs department really working them to the bone... the virus is slowing making its way through the econs RTs and trainees... and considering our discreet link... ionic bonding of the chem and econs department... i think we'll fall to the attack of the virus as well... soon... she's coughing and sniffling pretty badly beside me... i'm blogging away but she's typing furiously to finish her work before the deadline... who says RTs are slack? just like temps... we're very likely to be overworked and underpaid... i guess it just boils down to your superiors.. and your fellow teachers... chem department doesnt think much of bullying jas and i... so i guess we're pretty lucky pple... but it aint all so rosy really... its been quite tough trying to handle these kids... trust me... some of them dont qualify as young mature adults... i dont blame them... i was like that.. or worse.. during my JC stint... such a wonder that mrs wong din give up on me when i was among the bottom 5 of the cohort... the irony being that mrs wong was my chem teacher... i guess the main challenge lies in the ability to accept challenges from the students... who put forth questions and problems to shoot us down on purpose... maybe that... maybe that they find it easier to ask us questions other teachers might shrug away as stupid questions... i dont know... just hope that i'll be strong enough... and smart enough.. to get me through this teaching stint... met neighbour in the lift today... was staring at me quite weird coz i had my arm on my bro's shoulders... as the lift door opened... she said... "oh... you're his sis... i thought you were his aunt that i never met... started working liao ah???" darn... do i really look that OLD to her... c'mon... i'm only 19! doesnt mean that when i'm wearing a skirt... i'll put on 20 years to my actual age... i was wearing a t-shirt for goodness sake! but t-shirt decent enough for work la... actually i kinda miss my nanny... want to go visit her sometime this week... i should... really... either thurs or fri will be good.... then can play with boy boy... ok... i really shouldend this now and stop using taxpayers money to feed my incessant need to blog... should just go to the pantry to read papers and drink tea ya? muahhaha.. life is good... life is good... but it'll be even better if my students hand in their work... grr... swear i'll bark at them the next lesson... oh... did i mention how terrible the results of last week's AI was?!?!?!? fantasia and latoya got into the bottom three with hudson... who eventually got out... really sad stuff.. coz these were the pple who could really sing... am wondering whats in the minds of the voters... but i guess it is ultimately american IDOL.. and an idol doesnt have to be a GREAT singer... so many living examples out there... whose music can be quite inTOXICating... in the wrong way... i like fantasia... she's cool... she's spunky... she's my American Idol... no fight... ----Stef stopped rambling at 10:53 --Link to Post |
| 25.4.04 |
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woohoo!
weekend din go down to waste... spent a great evening with 486... played bball with her and her colleagues... cool bunch of guys... probably younger than us... by a year or so... but really good skills... and sportsmanship... din mind that i was sorely lacking in the skills and stamina department... though they kinda overestimated my height, my speed and reach... end up running alot for the ball... nice passes... good ground pass technique... was utterly impressed... intensed game... but the guys acted very gentlemanly for guys who pple usually think as bengs... made me run alot... and one of them did a starsky impersonation... "shoot it...c'mon...shoot it..." man! almost like the real thing... i burst out laughing... din join them for pool though... reminder... stef cant play pool for nuts... ate with 486 and her colleague's family who joined us midway through the game... malay lady who is ultra happening... like clubbing every week or so... she's a mother of 4 mind you... she's fun... noisy... and cute... almost like 486... oh well... her little girls were adorable... the 5 year old kept holding on to my hand... asking me to go to her house to show me all her toys and computer... 11 year old gave me a goodbye hug... she must have realised on hindsight that she shouldnt have done that... stank a good deal after the game... walked ard abit with 486... was great going out with her alone... purposely took a longer bus just so we could go home together... love this pal of mine... one who would never ever forsake me... i guess its the crap that we endured together back in TK that brought us this close... and i appreciate every single bit of it... another round of bball tomorrow... with mr sung and gang... woohoo! sch tomorrow should be cool... no classes... oni a ultra cheem practical that i must get my head ard... and lotsa tutorials to mark... coz they supposed to hand it in to me tomorrow... =P they better... dinner with ben k on tues... he better not forget... and better not suggest lawry's again... i'm just poor student.. CGH interview on wednesday... and i really wanna watch kill bill vol 2... wanna ask cy out... but he seems busy everytime i asked him... and everytime he asks me i'm busy... totally no fate... miss my ikea buddy... the crazy-over-man-u freak... was sitting beside this guy in the bus today... ok looking... ok... better than ok... but when he started speaking on his phone... i couldnt decide whether he was gay or just metrosexual... while gayism is slowly being accepted.. it is definitely not condoned... such a waste of perfectly fine-looking male species... darn... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:02 --Link to Post |
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okok...
i admit... i'm an avid reader of the trashy tabloid that mr wee (our GP tutor) banned us from... guilty as charged! but ok... thing is... was reading about the sleazy, raunchy, aint-so-simple footballers-outside-football-field scene... in the past used to be in awe of these pple... sportspeople... just amazed at their abilities... but with time... i guess you'll realise that they aint that fantastic really... gone are the admiration and idolisation... coz you'll realise that they aint so perfect after all... they're just human... like every one of us... just that they play their sport 100 times better... but this is something not exclusive to football alone... i dont know abt other sports... but i know of sports pple who indulge in such sideline activities... which is devastating... esp when you used to hold them in such high regard... the revelation is devasting to fans too... that someone you put so high on the pedestral doesnt live up to everything you thot him to be... my idol fell... and he aint beckham... and with that the complexity of life itself began to show its colours... with that i began to look at acts of kindness with sceptism... read in the papers that beckham sounds like mickey mouse... heh... reminded me of arun.. where you cant exactly fit the face to the voice and the other way ard... gross... ----Stef stopped rambling at 11:51 --Link to Post |
| 24.4.04 |
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just back from starsky and hutch with my 'lil sis...
enjoyed the show... dig the humour and the nice friendship the guys share... ooo... liverpool's leading 1-0... dig the car... the iguana and the matrix-sounding guy... the one who acted like a talking dictionary... prior to tat... was at ivins for dinner with family... place that served good perankan cuisine at affordable prices... somehow everything tasted a little different from our last visit... dad wasnt too happy... wasnt too glad that commercial peranakan cuisine has deteriorated to such a state... it aint the prices that matter... blue ginger aint fantastic... and with that... are the richness and wonders of peranakan culture going down the drain with that??? frankly... as a peranakan... a lousy one at that... i couldnt even answer ben and john when they questioned my roots... i take pride in my culture... at least the food... i dont dress the way the bibiks do... nor follow the superstitions... but how can the standard of commercial peranakan cuisine be so low... dad commented that while he understands that what we eat outside can never be compared to what my granny makes... he wasnt pleased with the fact that non-peranakans are gonna eat this food... thinking that it IS peranakan cuisine when it really isnt... unlike malacca... gone were the days when they take pride in the preparation of the food... where belachan was pounded by hand... sambal timun made with TLC... where the exact ripeness (or un-ripeness) was crucial in the preparation of papaya titek... pong teh stewed with sugar cane, pounded fermented beans, bamboo shoots, etc... granny aint cooking no more... only left with my domestic help who learnt a little from her... i regret not taking up the challenge... how to cook from the grandmaster herself.... so i guess it just ends there... of all asian countries... singapore is one of those really lacking in richness of culture... it's not just mine... we're just losing it... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:54 --Link to Post |
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sacrifice...
like in my previous entry... brought to mind stuff i've been hearing abt all this week... the nicholl highway collapse... and especially the site foreman who lost his life while trying to get the others out... i grieve the fact that his body has not been found... it is sad... very... that they cannot continue the search... his family's grief is undeniable... but i hope they take comfort in the fact that they had a hero in the family... a true hero... ----Stef stopped rambling at 17:18 --Link to Post |
| 23.4.04 |
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i've been blogging truckloads...
but i really cant help it... i dont speak of really profound stuff... or things really noteworthy... somehow... these entries are kinda a way for me to think back abt my day... like a review... like a report... still think i'm kinda exhibitionistic... if that word exists... and if you're looking for the word in the dictionary... i'm definitely not talking abt the defination that says it has something to do with the compulsive exposure of the genitals in public... am into the 2nd person in The Five People you meet in Heaven... been reading in segments... days have got a little too fatigued for me to fully digest and appreciate a good book from cover to cover... person 2 spoke of sacrifice... how eddie's captain shot eddie in the leg just so they could pull him to safety... away from the fire, from enemy ground... how captain walked ahead of their truck to check for safety... only to step on a landmine... blasting himself to death... but saving 3 of his men... including eddie... something eddie never got to know... the sacrifice his captain made for them... losing his own life... but saving 3 others... will you ever know if someone out there made a sacrifice for you? will you meet that very person in heaven? person 2's story mentioned something interesting as well... stef's ability to paraphrase is non-existent... but it goes something like... "dying is not an end... living is just the beginning... life in heaven is probably just a continuation from life itself... like an appendix... like the story of adam and eve... when the Adam's first day on earth ended... he thought he was going to leave earth as he fell asleep... but what he never knew was that he had a fresh new earth to work with the next day... and most importantly... he had yesterday..." i think that ended rather beautifully.. just try to disregard how terrible it sounds after being paraphrased by me... how many of us actually treasure that yesterday? i think yesterday is something much more valuable than most of us think it is... without yesterday... you wouldnt have today... much less a tomorrow... but many choose to forget yesterday... why forget? when yesterday contrives today... today contrives tomorrow... and a better tomorrow is what we're all trying to have... like i mentioned... "no experience is a bad one... just as long as you learnt something out of it..." *yawn* ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:37 --Link to Post |
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end of third week at work...
i'm definitely having a blast... seriously dunnoe what else i can ask for in a job... other than a timetable that doesnt end at 5 plus almost everyday... i'm happy... i really am... rushing from klassroom to klassroom... student to student... pantry to washroom to workroom to cubicle... teacher to teacher... i need to run... i need to be occupied... a different challenge everyday... this is it, man... had consultations with students for a large part of the day... first with the girls of 208... then with the girls from 212... then jeremy caught me... then shaowei waited for jeremy to finish before getting me to start on chem bonding... and then the practical with 208... i was walking ard the whole lab talking all the time... answering all their questions... pointing out all their mistakes... never talked so much in my entire life... *pants* think i drank gallons of water today... which proved to be useful... we had health screening today... blood tests... urine tests... hence the usefulness of the gallons of water... i'm fine... great blood glucose level... which was a surprise... considering the amt of sweets and ice cream i eat all the time... chlolesterol level was normal... blood pressure normal... though a little low... only that i was right at the edge of acceptable weight... told mr cia that if i ate lunch... i'll probably go down as overweight already... oh well... mr lim played the organ in the screening room today... gosh... he COULD play... that oni after he said to me that he could oni play mary had a little lamb... and sang it to me in hip-hop fashion... "..." he is one crappy teacher... utterly... but utterly fun as well... was suaning him abt feeling the pressure to tie the knot and all.. he replied saying he wanted his money to stay as his... "..." and i asked him abt his name... the calvin part... who gave it to him... well... it was his cousin... and it WAS becoz he reminded his cousin of calvin in calvin and hobbes... with shorter hair and specs though... damn! i'm good! poor guy is still coughing away... can recognise his cough from two ends of the stairwell... heh... he better get it cured... was telling me its an occupational hazard... but oh well... it is SUPPOSED to get better, no? and we finally found out... mr sung is married! heh... somehow i realised that females are usually more open abt being married... that probably by the first 2 days of knowing them... you'll actually find out... but guys tend to be different... you might just work with the person for months without ever knowing... but i guess it's ultimately up to the individual... and whether or not the topic actually comes up... oh ya... his baby kid is coming soon too! way cool! but probably after we leave MJC though... students were cool today... the klass i conducted was teachable... but i hope they understand everything... thats all i ask... mr tan marked their tutorial last week... the scores are horrendous... scary... wonder if they will pass the next test... am entirely worried... chin poh keeps taunting me in klass.. somehow i guess he cant swallow the fact that someone oni 2 years his senior is trying to teach him chemistry... received alot of challenges from him... and whenever i do hesistate in giving my replies to questions... he has this conceited look on his face... he asks me questions but when i answer... he keeps putting me down... as though he already knows... and i'm just being a pest... i dun really know wad to do... but i guess... oh well... i cant please everyone... it's almost as if my days came to a standstill now... while i looked forward to the well-deserved break over the weekend... i realised i had nuthing to do again... not nuthing... just not planned... got stuff to mark... lessons to plan... questions to solve... but is that how i wanna spend my weekend? wanna meet up with the bball team... been some time since we last saw each other... but i guess they more or less have their schedules packed... i'm supposed to rejoin training... loony quit already... so that leaves samuel alone... with the newbie... i want to windsurf... but the thought of being under the verbal abuse of coach... the physical torment... the psychological strain... i crumble in fear... i'm a coward... even though wsfing seems like an extreme sport... with injuries aplenty... yet pple go back after dislocated shoulders... jellyfish stings... broken bones... all i have is a chronic ankle problem... and i'm MIA for months on end... so much for carpe diem... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:35 --Link to Post |
| 22.4.04 |
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consider me perversed or otherwise..
but i was reading my own testimonials in friendster... many times... it was a "really?", "was i like dat?"... good comments or bad... most provided view of me that i never saw for myself... and reading thru... i felt as if i had the bestest pals i could have in the world... even though many were just returning the favour... after i wrote a testimonial for them... feel that i had a role in their lives... and them in mine... however insignificant it was... and is... every single one of my frens made an impact on me... made me who i am... not that i'm some great person... i just think i turned out pretty ok... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:11 --Link to Post |
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woohoo!
great day today... coz... BREAKFAST was FREE! okok... before you guys start thinking what a mercenary person i actually am... i wont attempt to refute that... kinda got a treat for me and my pals from mr sung... coz i gave him my chemistry resource file... muahhaa.. coz i wont be using it ever again ya??? =) but i was nice today... treated mr lam to a drink... well... i guess it was to return the act of goodwill... and he had been a nice colleague... another treat tomorrow... from mr cia... muahaha... am saving loads of money man! but really... like jas said... if we were to leave MJC... which equates to SOON... the greatest thing we'll miss are the few pple we have began to grow close to... mrs bong... mr cia... the chem dept... the econs dept... due to our discrete link... the NIE trainees... the other relief teachers... it's oni our third week here... but i enjoy their company and presence alot alot... and of coz... my students... talking abt them... 212 was great today... though i kinda worry abt their test... thing is... klass was good... i had students coming up... explaining answers... answering their klassmates' queries... we joke... we have fun... but i very scared they cant manage application to test questions... thing is... got them to stay back awhile after klass at the study area to explain some stuff to them... and to consult me abt what they werent sure abt... in all... i stayed back 2 hours extra... after their lesson... i hope it was worth their time.. and mine... hopefully all their queries are answered... coz frankly.. some of them are really quite weak... can oni hope for the best... had abit of side chat with them as well... dunnoe why they keep asking whether i have a boyfriend... and they never seem satisfied with "NO"... it was a "yes, every guy i know is my boy friend..." lousy and lame... but its my sis' favourite answer.. so i had to adopt... one guy even asked me to teach him how to flirt... gosh... do i look like one? declined... saying i wasnt educated in that field... girl who i thot din like me truly opened up to me today... for which i am glad... that she's willing to share her life with me... am happy... but disappointed with myself that i cant solve her prb nor give her good advice... haiz... i tried... just received invitation to AJ college day... how exciting... weird seeing another sch's letterhead when i'm so used to MJC MJC MJC... lalala... at least i get a chance to see all my teachers ya? hurray! miss them... esp mrs wong and mr wee... minus his sarcasm... hope the other klass will be nice tomorrow... dont want to scold them again... seldom see myself so serious... esp among my peers... hope i'll be able to treat them like mature young adults... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:05 --Link to Post |
| 21.4.04 |
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phew...
survived today... somehow... my permutation of my limited smart casual wardrobe finally came to an end... wore wad i wore on the first day of school... with my new shoes though! new shoes aint comfy... but i love the fact that they're sOOOOOOOooooooo cute! i walk funny... and its quite painful... but i think its cute! had a great breakfast today... coz jas treated me western food coz i helped her type resources... cost her $2.60 ok??? and mr lam... the GP relief teacher... treated us drinks... so... i had a FREE breakfast... and it was good sitting with mr lam... mr sung and mr lim... and the chinese department... rowdy bunch... first breakfast that i learnt so many things from... abt the other teachers, that is... asked mr sung whether he felt uncomfortable having me sit in so many of his lessons... well... he had no complaints... dont think he would admit it even if he did... but he said it would help him manage it better should the HOD decide to sit in his lesson... so i buay paiseh and demanded a treat... =P think i am starting to get along pretty well with mr sung and mr lim... discussing questions... pointing fingers at mr lim saying how evil he really was... and discovering that mr sung is starting to become like him... oh well... all in a day's work... feels good when your colleagues throw you a smile and greeting when you step into the office... really... and we all fix dates to play bball or badminton... feels at home... at ease... i'm enjoying work man! what more can i ask for??? relatively good pay... relaxed schedule... great pple... healthy lifestyle... this rocks! mr cia (finally confirmed with him...its CIA...) forgot my name... *pouts* which is mean i think... coz i know he definitely remembers me... no name... so i'm probably in his head as 'girl-who-keeps-demanding-treats-from-me'... oh well... i'll gladly remain as that... just as long as he treats us like he promised to... threatened to invite the whole relief teacher community should he refuse... muahahha... i'm the evil one... likr mr lim... he asked us to call them by their first name... well... i wanna feel young... and out of respect for seniority... we decided to continue on last names... sat in mr sung's pract today... quite fun... but the students... still alot of mistakes... quite scary... coz i have a feeling the mistakes are here to stay... stella parents sent both of us to NUS to submit the forms and money... quite fast and all... so officially... i have accepted the offer from NUS... felt bad... coz it feels as if i deceived the dean of admissions at NTU that i really really want MPE... i do... but i guess NUS is presumably a better choice... and my parents have a preference towards it as well... still trying for the CGH scholarship... *prays* got tricked into hearing some sales pitch for a savings plan by some prudential guy... spent alot of time... and he was quite persistent... somehow... he DID convince me... but i din sign up... yet... wanted to at least discuss with my parents first... frozen cash aint so smart when times arent good... but its attractive when the interest rate is higher than banks... you get cash of 500 per year back... and at the end of 25 years u'll get another 13K... and u're insured against illness in future too... i thought it was fine with me... coz i DO save money now anyways... just a matter of where i put the money... am considering... talk to parents later... early day today.. really wanna sleep... ----Stef stopped rambling at 17:22 --Link to Post |
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blogging from sch...
i failed my FTT... haiz... nuthing to say... ----Stef stopped rambling at 08:41 --Link to Post |
| 20.4.04 |
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long day today...
almost fell asleep while sitting in mr sung's class... it wasnt that he was boring... i hope he didnt notice... but the weather was really terrible... couldnt take it.... *prays* first time i lost my temper in klass... scolded 208 today... coz the girls werent paying attention... if they ignore me... i dont care... coz it's their loss... but their klassmate was presenting his answer... and the least they could do were to listen attentively... but they din... and burst out laughing midway... i think that was terrible... imagine how the poor guy felt... gave them a piece of my mind... din care that they'll start hating me or watsoever... i think i did no wrong... 212 was ok... warned them beforehand that i was having a bad day... girls asked if it was a girl thing... guys asked if i got ditched... oh well... but the klass was responsive... they were good... i'm glad... i'm happy... coz finally... the girl who i thot hated me... kinda opened up to me... asked me questions after klass... and fixed an appointment to consult me soon... at least she was willing to indulge in small chat after class... with that.. i'm glad.... met bernie at orchard... went for our waffle ice cream... din have my praline today... coz it looked melted... not because of the power failure... i wasnt at suntec... so i had macadamia nut... yummy... sinful... but we din have dinner... actually i din have lunch either... coz when jas and stella waited half an hour for me to finish up with shaowei and saiful... they gave up... and went to eat... walked ard alot... maybe just not our day for shopping... she only got a tube... and me... a pair of ultra cute (and cheap!) mary janes... light brown colour... lalaallaa... it only cost me $13.90! now trying to find clothes that i can wear with it... i die die wanna wear it tomorrow... damn happy... heading down to NUS tomorrow... pay money and submit forms... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:08 --Link to Post |
| 19.4.04 |
colour abit weird... but cheap camera... bopian... unless anyone wanna get me an ixus... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:23 --Link to Post |
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crazy day at sch today...
no lessons... but sat in mr tan's and mr lim's lesson... had lecture... typed stuff... helped stella with her stuff... ate in the canteen... struggled to get ard in my heels... CGH called me in for the interview liaoz... aint harbouring too much hope abt it... but i'm at least glad that they called... hope they call stella ng as well... coz she applied for it as well.. she did better than me... and wasnt having a very good day until they called me... can see she was rather excited about it and all... hope they'll call her... now in a dilemma actually... coz NUS offered me mech engineering... and NTU's letter came in today offering me MPE... deposit for both the unis are 500 and 100 bucks respectively... and deadlines for the two are 22/04 and 03/05 respectively... while my parents are more keen on me taking up the former... cant really let go of MPE as well... since i DID have to go through an interview to get it... however informal it was... but mom was even more excited abt the CGH interview... now they're asking me to study up abt the course and job... wish there was someone i could call and would tell me what to take and all.. i thought my troubles were over once i decided on engineering.. now this... both unis have their attractions and minus points... dun really know where to go... and this time... i have oni till tmr to finally make my decision... *send me a dream* met the class at orchard... for jing's and melissa's b-dae... was pretty crazy a gathering... 4 girls and 2 couples.. i guess i can safely say this without being beaten up too badly ya? and i went home with 2 couples though not the exact 2 who i was talking abt... confusing? kinda... i know can liaoz... dinner at spaggedies wasnt that fantastic... i seem to tire of pasta rather easily... wanted tiramisu but just couldnt swallow anymore... in the end... i had rocher and tiramisu ice cream... gawd... sinful... but heck... stella just reminded me i havent been running or exercising or anything... actually i cant... physio say cannot... rem? muahhaha... i'm meeting bernie for gelares tomorrow!!! muahahhaa... guilty??? kinda... but man... praline and cream... cannot resist!!! and we wanna go shopping... dont remind me abt me not getting allowance nor my first paycheck yet... sitting in mr tan's lesson today kinda made me appreciate my klass so much more... his klass was rather unresponsive... and sometimes when he said stuff... they would look at each other and give that DUH look... i feel so bad for him... he's a nice teacher... hope they'll start treating him better... sat in my klass' practical today... imran wasnt feeling well... asked me for med... cant give med anyhow... but i din really take him seriously... coz he still looked bouncy and happy... went home halfway... me felt bad for not showing enough concern... hope i remember to ask about him during lesson tomorrow... i guess when you cant be a good teacher in the academic sense... you feel obliged to make it up to them in other ways... i'm trying... was entirely noisy and crappy today... crapped to stella and weihao for probably the whole journey from douby gaut to sengkang... i couldnt stop... think the two guys sitting beside me really couldnt stand it... laoda and stella were standing.... i was going on and on... at 10pm at nite... muahahhaa... couldnt help it... i was in my crappy mode... my ice cream high... ke ke... now transferring pic... blog it later... ciaoz! ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:16 --Link to Post |
| 18.4.04 |
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was reading mitch albom's the five pple you meet in heaven...
and there was a line i found interesting... have to paraphrase coz i cant rem it exactly... but its something like being unable to talk so that one can begin to really listen... maybe some of us really ought to start listening more than we talk... tend to listen alot when ben and john indulges in their conversation... dunnoe whether to consider myself eavesdropping... or otherwise... but i cant really excuse myself from hearing about their lives... neither can i offer input of my own... so in a way more queer than not... i actually stay quiet... surprise of the century... realised i've been blogging alot these days... probably a sign that my life's really becoming... kinda slow... i dunnoe... dad said i'm kinda stressed... esp the way i sleep... very violent... coz in the morning my pillows end up on the floor... my legs hanging down the sides of the bed.. and my head on either pikachiu's head or minnie mouse's legs... crazy stuff... ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:37 --Link to Post |
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was supposed to have stayed home to prep my acceptance of NUS' offer...
the cheques to be written... forms to fill... photos to take... but merv had to iCQ me and ask whether wanna go out... supposed to be a "i-call-the-girls-and-he-call-the-guys" thing... but everyone seemed to pang sey us... so oni left me and him... walking ard j8 and checking out stuff... sitting at mac listening all his army stories... quite interesting actually... and merv is one guy i would never stop talking with... so it was a'ight (read: alright) despite the lack of many many pple... as usual... YC chose not to come... and the rest... more or less had their dates or their day planned out... i think only me was boring (i really mean boring) enough to be able to come out on such short notice... on hindsight... it made me wonder if really my life was this mundane... so uneventful.... utterly boring... i hope it isnt... coz i'm not making the most of my youth if thats the case... it's times like these when i do feel a little lost... just wondering where i belong... friends ard seem to have lives of their own now... and none of those seem to include me... hmm... it's like having good friends... yet not being close enough to warrant a meet-up every week or something... close to the bballers yesh... but those who are my colleagues i practically see everyday... dont think they'll want too much of me.. and they're busy giving tuition anyways... serene usually has her schedule planned out 2 weeks in advance... and i'm not the kind who would book someone 2 weeks in advance coz that kinda ruins the spontaneity in a friendship... oh well... somehow... my friends have a tendency to want gatherings at the same time... different groups of pple... darn... that stinks... coz it'll mean i'll have to forego one... *shrugs* i guess you cant alwaz have the best of both worlds... meeting the girls... plus laoda... tmr... i have no idea where... but i think it'll be a blast... considering we're meeting after so long... contemplating whether i should head to town stinky after a bball game... or skip the game altogether... pple concerned abt my ankle... i understand and appreciate your concern.. but my bball fever is back again... probably infected by the ultra cute bball teacher i/c... though he's engaged already... i'm joking abt the infatuation part... i'm not... but since i'm not training at sea any time soon... and i need some action in my life... bball is the perfect thing... though not so ideal for my injury... have no classes to really teach tomorrow... but i have a pretty long day... with klasses to sit in... oh well i guess... i'm enjoying sch... they're paying me ok... i have no complaints... sis and i were discussing PDA in the library over dinner... told me abt this couple in her sch... who werent very discrete in their affections for each other... gawd... what's with youths these days!??! it's kinda disrespectful to the school... and quite impolite to make their sch mates an awkward audience to their antics... oh well... *shrugs* she told me abt her klassmate too who came to sch with two brown marks on his face... he kinda sucked the air out of a plastic bottle... and shifted it to two sides of his face... this action kinda bruised his face.... two round patches... they named him pikachiu... maybe i should start booking pple to meet for the next weekend... but somehow... at the back of my mind... i think i have something on next weekend... but i cant remember wad... darn... who who who!??!?! grr.... people who read this... plz remind me if you know... ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:31 --Link to Post |
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John_Lennon_-_As_Time_Goes_By
This day and age we're living in Gives cause for apprehension With speed and new invention And things like fourth dimension Yet we get a trifle weary With Mr. Einstein's theory So we must get down to earth at times Relax relieve the tension And no matter what the progress Or what may yet be proved The simple facts of life are such They cannot be removed You must remember this A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh The fundamental things apply As time goes by And when two lovers woo They still say, "I love you" On that you can rely No matter what the future brings As time goes by Moonlight and love songs Never out of date Hearts full of passion Jealousy and hate Woman needs man And man must have his mate That no one can deny Well, it's still the same old story A fight for love and glory A case of do or die The world will always welcome lovers As time goes by Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers As time goes by ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:55 --Link to Post |
| 17.4.04 |
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stinky.
really. din change out of my mmooo shirt... so i probably stank throughout dinner as well... but reckon as long as i din smell ben or john... they probably wont smell me either... played at SRJC... with them and some kids... was pretty much of a "i-let-you-pass" kinda game... unlike the teachers-students game at MJC... very bu ke qi... but it was not bad la... ok... my ankle's starting to hurt liaoz... i guess its a "served you right" kinda thing... i defied my physio's orders... i rebelled against my condition... oh well... i accept my punishment with grace... just wondering how i'm gonna survive monday with heels... coz i left the highest pair in sch... and i'll be wearing/needing my trainers for mon/tue's game... well... the guys were talking abt moving out on their own... that kinda made me remember that at one point of time... i was quite intent on living on my own when i really start working... only thing holding me back is that i'm freaked out easily... i.e. sound of marbles... so... total solitude for a prolonged period of time is kinda.... *think twice* the few days alone in pattaya was ok... but i was dying to have WQ join me... i guess its an experience that really makes you grow up... not that growing up is such a good thing... but i guess its when you stop being so dependent on your family... like dunnoe who said before... "there's no such thing as a bad experience... coz you alwaz take something away after an experience... learn stuff you mightnt have learnt if you havent tried... i alwaz tell pple "i'll try" whenever someone asks me if i can get this done... "...whether i can teach the JC1s..." my HOD asked... and i think my answer kinda blacklisted me... but i really think it's better that saying "i can" when you dun really know abt that... at least "i'll try" is more accurate... heck yoda and his "there is no try...do...or do not..." starwars fans... please dont beat me up... but back to staying alone... i think it's coz i want my own space... have been sharing room ever since i was born... i like doing up my own area... having a system in the place for me and me alone... like all whites in the white basket and coloured stuff in the black basket... or the hair brush should be put on this side of the table and no one should ever move it... and that i hang my underwear where i want to and how i want to... *evil laughter* kinda perversed if you think about it... but its me... cant help myself... dont think anyone can... ben k is really one big baby... probably worse than samuel at his worst... can safely say this here coz i think he doesnt come here anymore... muahhaa... it's really quite entertaining to see john give in to him almost all of the time... so i'm kinda tickled by their relationship... and when ben starts his whining... you'll kinda forget that they're so many years older... was reading the papers abt this female big shot from chrysler condemning the YCC from volvo... i guess she kinda made sense... in a way... why do we need a car specially designed for females? it only goes to show we have special needs... when all this while... we were trying to prove the equality of sexes... this ruins it... it only asserts that females are incapable of handling normal cars... i feel quite bad abt drawing this parallel... so, pple offended, please pardon me... its like having special vehicles made for the disabled... it oni increases the stigma... like staring them down when thats the very thing they dont want... kudos to the fact about female engineers finally breaking thru... but i'm sure all this while... there were female engineers all ard too... you dont need the YCC to prove the point... but its just my personal opinion... building on wat i read in the papers... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:19 --Link to Post |
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just managed to pry my brother off the pc...
off his game of MU and msn... i cant tell whether i was doing it out of concern for his grades... or that i needed the PC to alleviate my boredom... or maybe even both... but i'll have to admit... its probably selfish reasons... changed back to my m55... have been typing real slow again... just when i got used to nokia once again... i had to change... but my sms traffic aint that high recently... so its not that bad... met my sc juniors on my way to far east yesterdae... popped my head in between them while they were talking... they thought i was a psycho at first... until they realised who i was... oh well... i'm one of the more low-profile councillors anyways... only reason why they should remember me is that i was the person i/c of all the torture and pain they suffered as an elect... oh well... thinking abt what jeremy, my student, said last nite... that one of his classmates lamented that i never answered his question in klass... i wanted to... i tried to... but its hard to actually stop the flow of the lesson to attend to just one guy... and besides... i was having trouble understanding what he was asking... needed time to think... asked him to look for me after his klass that day... he never did... he never did give me a chance... now i know how it feels when i alwaz complain that mr yip never answers my questions... dont know whether it was my fault that i din address his prb there and then... coz i really couldnt... mrs bong and mr sung did console me before... that it was probably impossible to get 100% understanding out of your students... as long as you tried... and they understand most of it... it would probably suffice... seriously... i hope so... need to go cut nails... meeting ben k for bball... ciaoz. ----Stef stopped rambling at 16:26 --Link to Post |
| 16.4.04 |
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JPL's out...
fall of the leader of all pen salesmen of the world... i really like him... i know its dumb... but i teared... coz when the show closed with his rendition of 'jailhouse rock'... he looked happy still... i wondered if it were farcical... coz it must have been so painful to have your dream shattered before millions of pple... i guess you dont really have to sing extremely well to be an american idol... you really need to have that connection... thats all you need... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:52 --Link to Post |
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SIN30 says:
hey actually... i am really sorry for being such a bitch... dunno why... think i'm just an extremely impatient spoilt brat... Stef says: well... Stef says: i've alwaz found you ok... Stef says: seemed to be more tolerant of you. SIN30 says: really meh? SIN30 says: that's great! for me anyway.... haha Stef says: i guess pple just have to take wad you say with a pinch of salt... Stef says: for me, i take wad you say with a punch in your stomach... ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:49 --Link to Post |
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two lessons in the early morning...
timetable changed again... told jas happily... bad timetables alwaz take a change for the better... and good ones take a turn for the worse... WRONG... mine was just as bad... worse maybe... haiz... only early day on tues... which happens to be the everybody-wanna-play-bball day... so i'll probably stay in school... darn... been spending alot of time in school... running in and out of staff room... really dont care abt messy hair or untidy clothes liaoz... too busy to think of anything... which is weird actually... i'm choosing to be this busy... oh well... it's better than slacking in the pantry.. and let that geography teacher put us RTs down... made a comment to my pals abt my yucky timetable... and he passed a comment on why din we choose to teach in pri or sec sch instead... =P workaholic, i am... i guess its the way i am... sparked another debate among the JC1 teachers again... dunnoe why my questions alwaz get them in a frenzy... spent alot of time with my students... finally getting the connection liaoz... am glad... wanted to leave sch at 1pm today... but got held back by my student's questions... so i had to take a cab to TTSH... waste money... but oh well... it's being responsible... physiotherapist at TTSH kinda gave my ankles a thorough check... concluded that the pain i've been experiencing aint the result of bad sprains... but something to do with the bone... gave me an ultrasound... have no idea why... and some heat treatment that's supposed to aid healing... quite scary... coz when she pressed on my smelly feet... it really hurt... terrible thing is that she banned me from physical activities that might aggravate the prb... no runs... no bball... no wsfing... no high heels... can you imagine how suffocated i'll become???!? no way man... only have one life to do wat i want... =P went to town alone... to try buy clothes at far east... but din buy much coz i realised i havent gotten my paycheck... bought a brown top which i thot was nice... and a necklace from novena square... lalalaa.... got my m55 back liaoz... yippie! went surfbabe to look for merser leh... but she wasnt there... hiakz... think something wrong with my back... been aching the whole day... pain pain pain... sit down also pain.... ouch ouch ouch... know wat... was thinking in the MRT today... a guy doesnt have to be good-looking to be attractive... he only needs to be confident, short of being egoistic... charismatic, charming, speaks well... and knows how to treat a woman good... as such... i felt that the geography teacher is rather attractive in his own way... gawd... he's probably married or something... and mr chia too... for being the nice guy that he is... oh ya... did i mention? was eating with the girls on wed at paragon... saw the previous star search winner... felicia chin... our TK senior... and another mediacorp actor... zheng yaodong, they tell me... paparazzi alert! am talking to one of my students on msn right now... getting some feedback... he thinks i'm doing ok for a new teacher... which you have to take with a pinch of salt... coz he probably doesnt want to offend me... make me feel bad... admits that the students have been bombarding me with questions coz of their insecurity in having an inexperienced teacher... i knew it! mr lim told us to call him calvin instead... =P i know its abit rude that when we are colleagues... we actually address them this way.... but we felt that it was a form of respect... esp since they were way more senior than us in terms of qualifications... and we want to feel young... coz we are.. end of the week... i'm feeling good... but havent got any plans... sadly... msged cy... but he's busy... bballers all kinda got their own lives liaoz... classmates too... wsfers as well... probably take refuge in my family yeah... not alwaz that i get to spend time with them ya? i think my hair is finally falling into place now... hopefully it wont be as terrible as it was a couple of days ago... ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:45 --Link to Post |
| 15.4.04 |
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Don't think I mentioned...
but the eyebrow plucker guy... the one who kept spamming #ajc and all... approached bernie and I in front of tangs yesterday... I recognized him immediately from his webby and newspaper... "sorry! In a rush!" pulled Bernie away... not trying to be mean or rude... but I guess I was trying to save everyone from embarrassment... lest I burst out laughing... and "in a rush" was a fact... us walk-run-ing past tangs was coz we made a quick sprint from MRT to far east and back to paragon... coz bernie wanted to get the nice top she had her eye on at Series... so accompanied her all the way there... so nice of me ya??? ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:24 --Link to Post |
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broke the record today...
stayed in sch till ard 1810... so i clocked ard 11 hours of work... including staking out the pantry, alot of the workroom, alot of student consultations and work... but 11 hrs is twice the amt i'm expected to work a day... even mrs bong asked why i stayed till so late today... well... i guess when there's stuff to do... there are really stuff to do... helped mrs bong (aka mdm fong) with the files yesterdae... bought us two packets of nasi lemak for breakfast... so sweet of her... we ate in the pantry... mr chia (i thot it was CIA coz his H was missing somehow...) din manage to treat us... coz stella who is his neighbour was having lecture... so too bad... aint gonna be a chance this week for his treat... coz i have early lessons tomorrow... haiz... did i mention he was a chinese teacher who spoke really good english? he is! muahaha... went home with mrs bong today... she lives in SK as well... din know that... met two of my students in the bus as well... crapped alot with them... and a JC2 chem teacher whom i never really got acquainted with... getting along fine with my colleagues... esp mrs fong... she's nice... we can talk... and she has a cute kid! lalala... enjoyed the klasses i had today... was my last lesson with s302... but they made it enjoyable... i guess when you are ard the same age as them... the atmosphere tend to be more relaxed... makes it a little easier for me... was supposed to finish up calculations with s207 today... 10 mins lesson... as i promised... stretched all the way till 50 mins... crazy... coz they had alot of questions... problems with the calculations coz some werent in jc for the first 3 mths... or some din take chem... took some time explaining to them... and picking out their mistakes... felt good that i got along pretty well with them... considering i only had 2 periods with them the day before... and the one period today... maybe they found me slack... s212 at the end of the day... was ok... but i think that one girl still dislikes me... kept giving me the buay song look... nevertheless... i had fun with the rest of the klass... we joked... laughed... but finished proper stuff... went through the tutorial... answered all their questions... and emphasized on understanding rather than copying answers... had a battle of the sexes question session... coz they happened to sit seperately in klass... imran managed to answer the question i taught him already... so i actually feel good... that he understood me and remembers what i taught... best feeling in the world... junjie had a whole list of questions to ask me after class... man... not that i'm complaining... but it's quite difficult to answer his questions at first... all the questions from him and the rest kept me back another 50 mins... thats why i ended so late... another debate among the chem j1 teachers today... sparked off by jas and i again... crazy stuff... oh well... din mean to cause the frenzy... but we had to know stuff in order to teach my students the right thing... i think sooner or later mr sung will find me quite a pain... really... stella aint feeling well... headache... poor girl has so many stuff to do... still had to go teach tuition after sch somemore... sometimes when i think about how hard they work to earn money... it kinda makes me feel bad for not working hard enough... oh well... at least it gives me time to crap in my blog... physiotherapy tomorrow... dun really know wad to wear... coz i'll be in sch... does anyone know what to wear for ankle physiotherapy? i seriously have no idea... help... have to get to TTSH myself... hope i dont lose my way... stella gave the tix to beautiful boxer to her parents... they said it was good... so great... i die die wanna watch... heh... us few made a pact to watch movie after sch every monday... woohoo! got the new package from NUS liaoz... offered me mechanical engineering.. probably taking that up instead of waiting for the MPE offer from NTU... to pple who tried convincing me NTU engin was dumping grd... congrats... you succeeded... but i'm not saying it is... coz i never believed in dumping grds and schs of prestige... only dumping grd i know of is lorong halus... and some funny offshore island... finally... know all the names in s212 liaoz... that leaves me with s208... then i'll know ALL my students liaoz! two classes nia... muahahhaa... love every single one of them! havent collected my phone which i sent to siemens for repair yesterdae... darn... hope they still kept it for me... will probably go tmr after work and physio... and hopefully... i'll be back on my m55... hey SIN90... dont think you'll be reading this... considering how BUSY you are right now... but happy for you that you've found THE ONE... and happy that you're happy... may all things go great for you... havent heard from my dear fren, ben k, of late... maybe oni when i "fren!" him on iCQ... then he replies that he's busy... that he'll talk to me another day... which never happened... "..." dont even think he reads this anymore... oh well... usually happens when pple are disappointed after the first meeting... with me... resigned to fate... =~( i guess people come and go... maybe this is it as well... kinda miss my favourite idiot actually... samuel ya? unlike the time training in pattaya when we're together all the time... i havent seen him since goodness knows how long... wonder how he's doing... haiz... miss messing up his hair... punching his abs... his lame one-liners... and my, even lamer, rebuttals... hope the idiot is studying real hard... he has the brains to go real far... mark my words... tired sweaty smelly... bath time! ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:18 --Link to Post |
| 14.4.04 |
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rather long day today...
oni had two periods of lab... slacked most of the day away... crapping with stella and jas... demanding breakfast treat from mr cia... which reminds me... i think mr cia is damn nice lor... he asked whether we wanted to go eat together... so i joked about having him treat us... pulled out a 5 dollar note from his wallet... his only note... and said ok lor... he thought we would meet him in the canteen... but we stayed in the pantry instead... and he contributed kitkats, tea, biscuits to our pantry party... so nice rite??? and offered to treat us tmr... gave us a couple of free tix to watch beautiful boxer today also... helped mdm fong out with her checking of files... and kept bouncing ard the whole staff room... was kinda tired really... many times i wanted to just sleep in the pantry... but reckon that would be a terrible sight... class today was find... a tad better than the previous class... would see them for anther 10 mins tmr... so that we could finish up the practical worksheet... left sch abt 3pm... dad came to pick me and get me to NUS for the USP interview... where i saw quite a number of TKG schoolmates... think i did really bad for the interview... unexpected questions... and terrible answers... i think they were horribly unimpressed... oh well.. i'm not habouring much hope anyway... met the girls at paragon... ate at ding tai fung... da place with the xiao long baos... erm... din eat alot... but i guess it was great having a table of 11... having conversations flying ard the place... ate nougats... ate vodka in chocs... ate gelato... then walked to NYDC for dessert... dad came to pick me... sent bernie home... had fun with the girls today i guess... catching up and all.. back to work... need stuff for lesson tmr... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:30 --Link to Post |
| 13.4.04 |
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forgot to blog something rather interesting today...
this young boy/girl was in the lrt with his/her grandma... when kids are really young... it's kinda tough to differentiate boy from girl and vice versa... okay... this little BABY... was in the pram la... but instead of being satisfied in the safe environment of the baby pram... he/she actually reached out and held on to the grab poles... the long vertical things that pple hold to steady themselves when the train moves? for the longest time... and when they shifted... he/she actually looked ard for a new pole to grab... i was so impressed... that the kid actually understood what they were for... or followed everyone else in doing it... unaware that being in the pram... he/she was probably very safe already... and that holding the pole wasnt gonna make much of a difference... somehow it kinda made me draw a parallel in our very lives... doing things for the sake of doing things... regardless of the reason... people conforming to expectations... looking at wat pple do... following suit... monkey see, monkey do... without consideration of whether that action is beneficial to us or otherwise... should i consider the baby smart in the fact that he/she was able to emulate others... grabbing the pole in the LRT like all the adults and older children do? or should i consider us adults naive for conforming to guidelines our predecessors set... who says you must hold on to the poles in the MRT/LRT? and working towards a "money-money-more-money" goal like it was the only thing we are living for? did i mention the baby was darn cute?! paedophile alert! ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:43 --Link to Post |
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=(
somehow... my days in school are progressively getting longer and more difficult... been taking other klasses other than my own... and found one of them being quite challenging... considering i'm just two years older... it's quite difficult for me to simply preach to them about chemistry and all... so i kinda find it very tough when students just look at me and copy answers... i need dialogue... questions... answers... i'm not a trained teacher... they all know that... i felt lost during labwork today... felt unmotivated... unappreciated... my own klass S208 was fine today... was having difficulty with a concept... couldnt really explain to joel... but got mr sung to explain it to me already... think i should be able to get joel to understand now... mr lim offered to sit in my lab lesson today... just in case i needed help with SPA... felt bad to deprive him of his break... and also because i din want him to know how badly i actually teach... so i told him that he din have to come... i really think work station (cubicles) are terribly unfriendly stuff... promote anti-socialism... dont really have pple to crap to... oni jasmine... who i can only see through a small window... through which i can only see her chair... and mr sung... coz our cubicles face each other... but he's usually really busy at work... work = back facing me... so when he asked me about my day today... i din realise he was actually talking to me... perm teachers dont talk to us that often these days... maybe they finally realised we're just a bunch of slackers trying to get some money from MOE... oh well... i AM... but i'm really working hard... considering i have to re-study every topic i have to teach... bring home stuff to do everyday... a prof chua from NTU called this morning... actually missed the call coz i was in klass... called back... and got an informal interview... was relatively surprised that they have an interview for MPEngineering... was thinking it would be a rather obscure course to take... but considering he actually called to ask questions... i think many pple actually applied for it... and accordingly... believed him entirely coz i was just too tired for skeptism... i would probably be offered MPE for NTU... for which i am glad... din know how to answer some of his questions actually... coz i really wasnt expecting his call... therefore, wasnt prepared... so, why did you choose MPE? coz i wanted to join the airforce? darn... which was partially true... would have tried to think something smarter to say... but just couldnt... coz i just came out of a 50 min lesson in which i was tortured by 20 students... oh well... just glad he sounded satisfied with my answer... and sounded keen to give me the position... received NUS letter about the courses they offering me... got industrial systems engineering... which was weird... coz i din apply for it... email came say they had some typo... and would send me another letter soon... coincidentally... ISE was what stella ng applied for... but she got offered mech engineering... mech was what i applied for... yet i got ISE... did they mix us up? have oni one lab lesson tomorrow... and i'll make my way to NUS for the USP interview... wish me luck... lots of it... ----Stef stopped rambling at 17:51 --Link to Post |
| 12.4.04 |
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i think the more i teach...
the more i think i dont know enough to really prepare my students... they caught me alot of times... when i couldnt give them the answer at the snap of the finger... and times during the lab when i stared at their solution and couldnt find the mistake in their calculations... unlike mr lim who stared at it for probably a couple of secs... and pointed out their mistakes... i think it's quite a mistake putting these pple's results on the edge like that... i am a surviving student... asking me to teach others is terribly tough... coz i only know enough to get myself that A... but not help others get A... i'm trying my best... came home and pengz on the computer table... really... wanted to sleep even on my walk home... bout of insomnia last nite... really.. of all things... think mr lim's probably starting to realise how inadequate my chem knowledge actually is... i'm beginning to like my classes... my work... am only hoping to work my entire term... plz dont sack me... on one hand i'm very glad and happy students look for me after lesson to clarify doubts and all... on the other... i have this feeling that there will probably be a time where i would dunnoe how to answer their question... insecurity maybe... i just wanna do good... for them... lots of things to do tonite.. prepare tomorrow's lesson... copy lecture notes... prepare lab lesson... compile resources for worksheet for a klass who is finishing the tutorial already... tired... fatigued... USP called me in for an interview on wed... so that's probably after my sch day... poor guy... have to schedule and re-schedule me coz of my timetable... really bo pian... my days (while slack) end really really late... dunnoe whether to rejoice or lament... missed out on MechProdEngin interview which was today... wonder if i'm still considered for the position... but oh well... maybe i'll be sent to common engineering for NTU... then i'll have to work harder than ever before... wanted to go for jog today... but really cannot pry myself off the couch... oh well.. that will probably happen some other day... time for work... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:35 --Link to Post |
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