| 30.3.08 |
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hokay... it's official... just a bout of gastric flu... that kinda made it the most miserable weekend ever... just glad it didnt happen over the weekend of PILLOWMAN! i just hope it's gonna be kick-ass awesome... coz the opportunity cost of pillowman... was maroon 5... which i heard rocked, by the way... i should get my self plonked in bed soon... this artificial high of 24 hours of on-off sleep isnt lasting very long... and i need a clear head for the FINANCE nightmare tomorrow... class quiz... hur. tell me about it. ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:32 --Link to Post |
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been one crazy day... think the McD supper of an ice cream cone got me into this... considering the guy and i ate everything together save for that ice cream cone... woke up in the middle of the night feeling superbly uncomfortable... staggered into the bathroom... started to puke everything... i dont remember ever puking like that... though i probably did when i was younger... but it was a real horrid experience... dont understand why some pple can induce it on purpose... still feeling damn sick... slept the entire day... coz it was the only way i wont feel terrible... woke up at 9.30pm... after going to bed at 2.30pm... tried to eat a little porridge... but din get much further than trying to spoon up the fluids... it's now the next day... and i'm starving... but i dont think i can eat anything without feeling like regurgitating everything again... dont think i have ever felt so much disdain for food anywhere... been craving for some awesome fish soup though... might just try after i go to the doc later... i slept so much yesterdae... but thats really all i feel like doing.. guy's mom asked him why i fall sick so often... not really la... just that the other episode, which involved a ambulance ride, was at his place too... now i'm just a sick cat... darn... i really ought to be tougher than this... that aside... it's amazing how happy the guy makes me... even without doing anything... was feeling all sad and downcast... but everything changed once he comes into the picture... ME WANT FOOD.... but i dont want to have to eat it... ----Stef stopped rambling at 08:43 --Link to Post |
| 28.3.08 |
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another rejection... *screams and tears hair from head* i should really be used to rejection already... after the lack of luck in the romance department in the pre-uni days... think i'm just too awesome that i am the one who makes the first move... probably coz no one makes the move on me... *boohoohoo* jokes aside... i really cant help but feel a tad depressed whenever i get a rejection email... i should have expected it... everyone else was just amazing... but i just had that small glimmer of hope... that poof-ed in one email two days after the interview... i really need to overcome this... this feeling of anti-superiority... quoting YXY from our pre-uni days... it sucks... no doubt... but this is life... live with it... i cant help but feel lousy... useless... cannot make it... BAH! HUMBUG! i am NOT useless... i am NOT lousy... i am damn blardy amazing... and one day i'm gonna prove it... just not today... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:35 --Link to Post |
| 26.3.08 |
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the guy estimated that the amount of petrol he spent sending me home on.... probably cost more than 1k already... it makes sense.... coz we go out more than twice a week... and since he's closer to town... we often take the public transport to his place... and he'll drive me home... else... other times he picks me up en-route to the beach... although it's not really along the way for him... i feel super bad... coz i refused to get him a glass of water from the fridge just now... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:16 --Link to Post |
| 24.3.08 |
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you know it's a problem when your bf has 47 mutual friends with you on facebook... and he only has 60 friends to start off with... but then i was the one who added say 80% of those people for him... i have the password!!!! i'm such a voyeur that i know who he knows or does not know... my head is throbbing from too much 30 Rock... but i honestly cant get enough of Liz Lemon and her dsyfunctional team of writers... and i heard How I Met Your Mother is due for a comeback with Britney Spears in the episode... AWESOME! i know i ought to be crazily writing and reading and writing my FYP thesis... but give this girl a break will'ya! anyways... i'd really like to head to bed... but my new haircut is so short... and it's now wet from my 1am shower... i'm bound to have my hair sticking out in all ways possible when i wake up in the morning... parents are off for a short holiday... so it's time to PARTY! not quite... staying in hostel means that its not much of a difference... i am struggling as to whether i should msg my dad about the Man U match... a little bird on my shoulder told me they won 3-nil... but i could be wrong... genes and society test was a disaster... i dont know where that prof gets his content to test us from... coz some certainly did NOT come from his notes/textbook/CD-ROMs... so retro right, CD-ROMs... just hope that it'll still be moderately ok... by that i mean, okay after moderation... still a little hung up about the drama from the past few weeks... hate the way i'm feeling... just feels like a part of me is left behind like that... and i'm forced to move on without it... even after all the throw-face confessions and confrontations... while i'd like to say i officially give up... i cant... coz i havent... as much as i want to... dinner was awesome taiwanese beef noodles, dumplings and side dishes at the guy's place... his mom is still house shopping in kaoshiung... so his dad has been playing mahjong with her kakis... i find the tai-tai banter quite intriguing... though it takes me a lot of time processing the large amount of mandarin... so when one of them commented something the aunties not being able to escaped when it comes to our wedding... and needing early notice to fly in from the US or wherever... i could only pretend to agree... realising only moments later what transpired... i think its time to get the toothbrush and get ready for bed... it's two weeks to the first draft of the thesis... GAMBATTE! ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:56 --Link to Post |
| 20.3.08 |
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bumped into Emmanuel two days in a row... which aint bad coz we ended up ranting about FYP and our dumb CAPs... but he told me he got A for Genes and Society... so now i'm fueled with optimism... loading up on the CD-ROMs... which really is 10x more interesting and insightful than the lectures... i dont have much time... it's going to be a crazy 3 weeks... maybe more... my foresight now only extends to three... with all the tests, presentations and deadlines... but like Melv says... who runs a marathon and slows down at the very end? it's time for a sprint... wish me luck. ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:56 --Link to Post |
| 19.3.08 |
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just a quick one... i am seriously considering making use of my second laptop subsidy before i leave school... and get a kick-ass iBook... only problem is... i have to divide my mediocre savings between the following... 1. driving lessons 2. grad trip 3. paying off my first laptop loan 4. SLR camera 5. new wardrobe 6. plastic surgery (maybe) HOWS?! ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:33 --Link to Post |
| 17.3.08 |
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i know i've been ranting that i havent got time to do everything... but i'm still here? maybe my saving grace is that i'm typing this over a styrofoam box of oily wanton mee... wanton mee without the wanton... coz i think char siew rocks... but that is definitely not the crux of my post today... well... concern came in various forms about the emo posts... i think posts like that are the only way to smoke out silent voyeurs... but then again... they have been so sweet... i love you lovely people... *hugs* and they have no way of making their presence known... considering i have no tagboard... no comment function... or so i thought... but back to the original point... *stuffs her face full of noodles* i am quite fine... it has nothing to do with the wonderful boyfriend... coz he has been amazing... save for the times when he pokes me in the ribs and insist he was acting sub-consciously... sometimes i wish he would grow up... but then again... i think he only does that to match up to my lack of maturity... where was i? emo posts, right. it's really quite the norm for me... if you read the stuff in the earlier days of this blog you will know what i mean... but the only problem is... i thought i would recover more quickly... and not be so much of a dork... i dont exactly know what dork means... just think it sounds cool-BAD... *eats the last of the char siew* quite frankly... i dont even know how to explain what happened... coz in actual fact... nothing did... maybe i was just a little disappointed at myself for not becoming more mature over the years.. it was just so weird.... that it reminds me of the times during JC or sec sch... where i would have a empire-state-building-magnitude of a crush... then have the guy (not THAT guy) ignore and avoid me like the plague... let's see... i think i pestered the ex for a while.... (until he threatened to set the dogs loose...) i think i hung on to a "not-here, not-there, not-anywhere" for a good period of time... ('o' levels period.... it's a miracle i survived...) and my confession of a crush on the class-genius... came right on the dot of the 'a' levels.... (but this one ended well i guess... we became pretty good study buddies for the killer ME core modules...) last night was pure torture... couldnt sleep at all... so i effectively wasted about 6 good hours that i could have spent on my FYP.... ok... maybe you have to minus about 1 hr when i gave up trying to sleep... went online and did a practice paper... i think the stress finally got to me... it always does when i am finally down in bed... and the mind starts wandering and making a mental list of what i have not achieved... guy was sweet... i called him at 1am and started crying... so he was forced to say nice things to me for 10mins... i laid in bed till 6plus in the morning... where i had to pretend i was sleeping like a log... just so my parents didnt have to worry about me... where in actual fact i havent slept a wink... and had a long day to slave through... and now it's almost the end of the day... but i made a check list... and putting a nice, thick stroke through things i have done is quite therapeutic indeed.... i have about half of the list checked off... but its a week-long thing... so i guess it'll have to come slowly... i really ought to get back to work... Genes and Society test this saturday... finance presentation on monday... FYP submission and finance quiz following monday... and i havent started ranting about no one wanting to hire me... or give me an interview for that matter... i think i have been rather blessed so far... most things in my life have always been going my way... so now... when its such a problem deciding what i want to do in life... and getting the right companies to take interest in me... it's really getting to me... but i guess it's all part and parcel of growing up... i guess i can always fall on my back-up plan... to become a tai-tai... but like i told nick... considering the guy is still jobless too... this tai-tai will be sipping lattes at kopitiams, playing online mahjong and shopping at pasar malams... ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:57 --Link to Post |
| 14.3.08 |
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....blardy irritated. and tired... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:55 --Link to Post |
| 12.3.08 |
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okay... maybe i'm not taking it as well as i wanted to... i wanted to.... ...walk away without turning back. ...carry on with my everyday life, eg writing my thesis. ...be able to sleep well at night. i am... ...checking my phone for the reply that never came. ...listening to sad jay chou songs. ...groaning in my sleep. ----Stef stopped rambling at 16:39 --Link to Post |
| 11.3.08 |
 momentary suspension of gravity.... i certainly wish to go back to more carefree times... ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:29 --Link to Post |
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i honestly thought i would feel depressed and dejected... but i'm not... i started telling nick not to provoke me coz i bad mood... but i was laughing as i was typing that... so i guess it didnt hit me... and then i reasoned that it probably wasnt an issue after all... it has been like what.... four/five years since... it would be quite insane to have something stirring inside you for so long... while the case didnt close the way i wanted it to... without any remnants of a doubt... i guess i cant ask for very much more... i honestly think the guy doesnt read this anymore... and neither does ANYONE for that matter... so no one's gonna start judging me when i start raving about... ...cute angmoh who looks like harry potter! but then again... my idea of cute is kinda warped... he just has that cool nerd charm about him.... i had to brisk-walk/half-run just so i could be on the same bus as him... and i think lacoste is awesome sexy... never knew a simple lime-green polo can be that delicious... and last night over dinner with the lab guys... xiangyi asked if i was the only child... and melv asked if i stayed at bukit timah... do i come across so spoilt/pampered/over-indulged? not that all bukit-timah types are like that.... but i thought my heartlandish traits would be more dominant... after 10+ years in ulu sengkang and maybe 12 years in bedok ulu reservoir... goodness... i am the eldest child la... ala the one-who-has-to-give-up-the-drumstick/crabclaw-to-everyone-else.... hur... now i'm just blasting songs off my iPod... it's cold and rainy afternoon... i'm hungry but i'm waiting for the guy to have his break... so we can lunch together.... even the guy at Aston's recognizes me as the one who orders two portions for herself... save time mah.... so we no need wait so long... *hides face* ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:22 --Link to Post |
| 10.3.08 |
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i'm not sure if i mentioned this... but it's hasta la vista, baby to my Casio camera already... it's like blanking out my shots without zoom... so its kinda pointless... guy says it's probably because i bring it every with me... and judging by the way i throw my bags around... quite evident when you see the condition of my bags... it's really not surprising that my camera's a goner... but i guess it survived almost 2 years already... and the fact that it served me superbly well in the US of A.... i should be quite glad...  just something we noticed at the Esplanade on the Dim Sum Dollies night... thought it was immensely pretty.... finally managed to go to the National Museum of Singapore... it was pretty cool seeing the exhibits from Lourve... but as sciency people... we didnt quite appreciate all the Greek mythology... but we got pretty excited seeing Socrates, Plato and gang in the flesh... actually i meant stone.... i quite like the funerary steles... the intricacy involved and the plausible stories behind them all... it's ending on the 16th of March... so catch it before they pack them all up and send them back to France...  din know that photography is actually allowed IN the museum... just read it on their website... but i guess the guy is somewhat right when he said that when you are busy taking pictures... you dont get to experience the moment as well as you could have... the rest of the museum is awesome cool as well... i count myself as being very singaporean.... so i totally enjoyed the singapore living area... singapore fashion in the 60s and so on... photography.... old film theatres.... and even street food... yum. din finish everything in the museum... i think the guy and i had abit of an overload already... but it was truly an enriching experience... ----Stef stopped rambling at 10:04 --Link to Post |
| 7.3.08 |
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i am weak. ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:54 --Link to Post |
| 5.3.08 |
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there is something seriously wrong with my room.... might be dust... but everytime i finally lay down to sleep... my eyes and nose all go haywire... watery eyes... drippy itchy nose... and it persists even after i wake too... so i end up taking some time slacking in my room first before heading to school... which means i end up having to wake earlier than i should... so like today... when i meant to wake 3 hours before my lunch appt... 'cause i wanted to tapow the guy's favourite nasi lemak from Adam Road... on my way to town... town in the middle of the week... such are the pleasures of school life... but i din manage to do it... wasnt that keen really... but i havent met my ex-colleagues for a long time now... and they have just moved! i just saw the pictures of the studio on facebook... and i almost cried... like why on earth do you have a kick-ass office only now!? the location is fantastic too... progress of my FYP is going superbly slow... been pretty distracted with my Finance test on Saturday... urgh... dont know how... but it'll have to work itself out... i set myself a target to finish the literature reviews and whatever mambo jumbo by this week... i hope i'll achieve that... will try to hit the gym this week too... the once a week thing has been sliding later and later into the week... so last week it was on friday... am hoping to go either tonight or tomorrow... wanna whip myself into shape before graduating... and sliding down the path of no return... i called the guy at 2am in the morning just to tell me random stuff i found on facebook... how crazed is that? but i guess he's pretty used to my eccentricities... even adopting some of them as his own... i'd just submitted another application last night... and for the first time... i actually felt i was writing from the heart while i was writing the cover letter... now i'm so hoping they'll at least interview me... why on earth am i a pathetic 3.95? i really want this... i can do this.... ----Stef stopped rambling at 10:49 --Link to Post |
| 4.3.08 |
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it's like reliving the awful phase of secondary school and JC all over again... not that the whole thing was awful... i had wonderful times... but the awful parts... the parts of being the needy, desperate... wanting affirmation but to no avail... i really shouldnt be feeling like this... so i dont know why i am.... feels juvenile... but at the same time... i just cant help myself... i need to grow up... i need to be able to not fall so easily... crap... this whole week was a total joke... the reason why i asked to meet you, i never had the courage to say... but here it is anyway... stop popping up in my life every once in a year to shake things up... i dont need it... on the other hand... i dont think there can be anything that cannot be salvaged with an awesome date with the guy... i think we'll finally have time for the museum this weekend after my Finance paper... then was thinking.... since we're close... maybe we can go picnic at Fort Canning... poor guy has been vexing over his FYP submission over the last couple of months... would be great to really enjoy the weekend... and... i quite like takeaway dinners with his parents at the coffeetable in front of the TV... the last one was sushi, sashimi, roast meats and dom perignon... family gossip is fun... ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:18 --Link to Post |
| 3.3.08 |
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URGH. ----Stef stopped rambling at 17:02 --Link to Post |
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