| 30.1.05 |
|
love my room rite now...
have my pretty comfy bed... lotsa CDs beside it... playing his zhang zhen yue repeatedly... its a non-itchy bed... so thats great... my table isnt like last sem... full of readings and books from the library... yet... so i have space for other stuff... space to work on... i have a neat collection of food to survive my pangs of hunger... a huge box of waffle crisps... instant mee goreng and kway chap... biscuits and oreos... though he complains that i keep snacking on hello pandas and pockys and chocs... my little cosy corner with a rug and a huge cushion... great for movies and reading... and they are both blue... not that i like blue soooooooOOoo much... but i like it when things match... so most of the things in my room are blue/yellow/orange... if i can help it... i have loads of photos around... my pseudo-artistic shots from thailand... of friends... of things... on my screensaver as well... i get super happy when i see lotsa photos of pple i simply adore... even better if i'm not inside... *shrugs* fetish? gonna watch Closer later if i manage to finish my math homework... *pray* ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:28 --Link to Post |
| 26.1.05 |
|
cant decide whether i'm being too easily satisfied...
but my cup of frozen yoghurt made me very happy... somehow, more weird than not... the simpler things in life are what makes us most happy... (although i wont deny that having loads of money to go shopping with will suffice...) the past week has been pretty fast... dunnoe why... cant remember most of it... was it last week that i watched Alfie? which was good, by the way... my fellow movie-goer thought otherwise... maybe my opinion is slightly biased with the fact that JUDE LAW was everywhere... and he looked damn good... and i mean DAMN GOOD... got lots of online labs and online tuts that are graded and waiting to be done... i'm done for... hate these sort of things... they make slacking impossible... and life stressful... somehow... i think i'm still floating on Ban Tham time... where everyday... the main events of the day were to go to the market... play with the kids... eat and eat and eat... that is THE life... like becky... was thinking how nice it would be if i could just retire in Chiang Mai at 30... read books and drink kopi all day... listen to cute Thai guys strumming on the guitar... *floats* did i ever mention that at a certain point of time last year... i was almost giving up on windsurfing? maybe not almost... i did... i quit the team... being under andrew foo... and decided nothing is worth having my aunts complain how tanned am i every CNY... didnt windsurf for almost 10mths? kinda had my stuff rotting and rusting away... harness almost torn... and pulleys 'borrowed' by the kids at NSC... darn... getting everything set up once again is kinda draining... until now... i dont have my set of pulleys and harness lines... oh well... am trying to concentrate on soft sail now... RH is bent on clinching the IVP trophy this year... but dont think i'm ready to take on WQ again... as alwaz... i'm digressing... point is... i think my love for the sport is being rekindled slowly... maybe it's also becoz of the absence of ego-bashing competitions... where the foreign sailors just beat us hands down... not that i'm doing super well also... i just feel that the pressure is off... and i'm beginning to enjoy the sport more... maybe lu's rite abt not racing... and enjoying the sport as it is... a leisure activity... oh well... i think racing is an experience that should be tried at least once... so.... JOIN NUS CHAMPIONSHIPS! ...sms me for details! SIMPLICITY --> HAPPINESS therefore, inversely... COMPLEXITY --> MISERY and since homework is usually not easy... HOMEWORK --> COMPLEXITY --> MISERY though i think we didnt need that proving to understand that relation... ----Stef stopped rambling at 16:35 --Link to Post |
| 20.1.05 |
|
much as i would have wanted to leave the previous post as such...
to emphasize my grief and sorrow over the late phone... ...the phone numbers of my NUS peeps.... (considering i saved most of them into my phone...) ...pictures of my family, him, friends... ...the very fact that its a kiap phone... sad... but what to do... who ask me to send it into the toilet bowl... toilet bowl so small.... i can actually throw until it went right in... sad... but at least my SIM card is still alive... i should at least count my blessings... had a bad bout of stomachache last nite... cant decide whether its the shitty kind... ...coz that was what got me into such a frenzy prior to the phone-in-bowl incident... (assures readers that there was no shit in bowl... nor anything of that sort when my fone dived in...) or the kind that almost got me into CGH two years ago... ...almost, coz i cant remember whether or not i did go in the end... freak... whatever the case... i'm glad i got past it... thank you for being there... survived 4 hrs of my 8hr Tuesday... before making my way down to UWC... starting shivering real bad in DM class... probably wouldnt survive another 4hrs of USP... doc said i got food poisoning... asked for a MC... and she gave me loads of med... FOC... really loads... took one dose later in the day... and the rest have been sitting pretty on my shelf... hate medicine... but dont deny the placebo effect it has on me sometimes... kinda told james abt the latest developments in my life... he was surprised, to say the least.... doesnt seem very ME to dive into something like that so quickly... it's been only one semester... less than that actually... but it doesnt seem that impulsive a choice... he doesnt seem the impulsive sort... neither am i... but it just felt so right... too right, sometimes... even till now... i find it hard to realise that it's all real... he sits across me in gatherings and it feels so distant... and i wonder to myself again if all that i remember of the past week was a dream... wishful thinking on my part... then i'm reassured it's not... but everytime my hand is not in his... i wonder again... it's the kind of feeling you get when you just woke up in the morning... and you cant tell the difference between dream and reality... the insecurity stems from the very fact that this is something i've been wishing/praying/dreaming/hoping so badly for... it actually materialising is beyond me... beyond what i can manage... i'm not complaining... just let me go on abt it a little more... maybe i'll get over it... ----Stef stopped rambling at 11:56 --Link to Post |
| 18.1.05 |
|
phone went swimming in the toilet bowl...
'nuff said... ----Stef stopped rambling at 08:37 --Link to Post |
| 17.1.05 |
 time to play Spot the Difference? ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:58 --Link to Post |
 back in AJ for Orientation '05.. ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:57 --Link to Post |
| 16.1.05 |
|
no expectations, no disappointment...
but no satisfaction too... something that i found while reading johno's blog some time ago... it just struck me as so true... so apt as a summary of my life... and how aimless it actually seems sometimes... sometimes i wonder if it was ever possible to remove this negativity... it doesnt seem very possible... but i do think i'm beginning to live more for the moment now... basking in the sweet goodness of it all... let's hope i'll be able to focus more on the present... than anything else... you were watching soccer... ...i was watching you. ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:29 --Link to Post |
|
cant get enuff of this song....
Leo Ku's Xi Huan... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:08 --Link to Post |
| 14.1.05 |
|
parents and i got treated to a rather interesting sight last nite...
fodder for my gossipy blog entries... mom, who was waiting in the car for us under the block, was looking (STARING) at one of my neighbour's teenage daughter smooching (passionately, may i add) this guy... when dad and i came down in the lift... they were like right in front of the door.... once again, smooching away... i guess it's not hard to feel awkward in such a situation... you dont know whether to look away or AT them... coz their behaviour and lack of a want for privacy kinda points to the latter... outright attention seekers... but maybe not.... maybe they simply have this undying passion for each other that they cannot express in other more private ways... but who am i to comment... to judge... to criticise... parents reaction was quite funny actually... can tell that their comments were in a way coded with a warning to me... that they better not catch me doing something like that... which is hilarious really... have never really been impressed with PDA at all... think that it is something unnecessary... and its better left at home or in some private space... its terrible to make the people ard you watch... while you french your partner... and start sliding hands all over the place... it's like some soft-porn flick played out in the open... eekS! it's not that i'm against showing affection to your loved ones... i love hugging my mom... shoulder-charging my dad (affection?)... or grabbing the arms of my close friends... i believe that 'touch' is a very important medium of communication... but i think there is a limit to everything... even though we have evolved to become an open-minded society and wat not... i think that there has to be a fair amount of propriety instilled in our youths... we are, regardless of the extent of Westernisation, still Asian... which values i really think deserves to be conserved... as it is the only thing that sets us apart from our Western counterparts... call me old-fashioned fuddy-duddy... backward... i dont mind... but i guess it boils back down to the line i've loved to go by... Do not do onto others what you dont want others to do onto you... holding hands, pecks-on-cheek, arm-ard-waist/shoulders are fine, i think... oh well... who am i to imposed my views on others? you have the right, the ability to think otherwise... but this is what i think... maybe i'll just have to learn to conc on my book/sms/cute-guy if i so happen to encounter PDA-ers on the LRT/MRT/void-decks again... feel free to tag your views... this is one debatable topic... watched a number of movies in hostel so far... Before sunset... Before sunrise... Lost in translation... Matchstick men... CSI... my little cosy corner on the floor in my room is damn freaking comfy... maybe save up for another cushion... pity... i dont think i'll get to do this very often next week onwards... thanks for everything thus far... ----Stef stopped rambling at 14:25 --Link to Post |
| 13.1.05 |
 da shirt...sms me if you want one! ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:23 --Link to Post |
 bidding madness... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:23 --Link to Post |
 bazaar madness... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:22 --Link to Post |
 windsurf girls...'cept for lyna, huiqian and cheryl... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:22 --Link to Post |
|
school...
sianz... think i'm under bad influence... skipped maths lect today... muahah... but according to jon... the lecturer's good... oh well... will have to try to be there... meeting the wsf comm lots... great to be ard them... esp the girls... okok... the guys too... i think the pple ard you kinda determines whether or not you'll enjoy uni life... not so much of the course/hall/watever... but the people... coz they make such a difference... and guys... you've been great... even though we look as if we're headed for bankruptcy... still glad i have you all... think i'm not spending enuff time with my other friends... or i think they deserted me intentionally... Other Friends... i miss you all too... plz call me when you have dinners/jogs/bball/lunches... i AM still alive!!! miss family... having dinner with daddy tomorrow... though he was kinda reluctant... i seriously think he rather watch TV than have dinner with his daughter... but oh well... have to appreciate the fact that he's coming all the way just to pass me stuff... that i forgot to bring from home... I LOVE MY DADDY! funny how life can alternate between being amazingly pretty and disgustingly horrid... i guess the prettier life is for you... the more difficult you will find it to bear with unpleasantness... and the tougher life gets... the prettier you find the sweet parts to be... sounds kinda contradictory and illogical... but i seriously think this is the case... and if this is so... ...do i really want to be VERY happy... knowing that i will be VERY sad sometimes... ...or do i want to be just HAPPY... and be just SAD sometimes? oh well... i guess as alwaz... i'll take the extreme... and bask in the shortlived goodness of the moment... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:01 --Link to Post |
| 11.1.05 |
 buddy merv... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:40 --Link to Post |
 Bishan brekkie... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:37 --Link to Post |
 01 guys after Bishan brekkie... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:35 --Link to Post |
 01 girls after Bishan brekkie... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:35 --Link to Post |
|
i guess the simplest things in life bring you the most happiness...
am just done with looking through the My Pictures folder on my lappie... memories of the great people, great times we shared... never fail to bring a smile to my face... or even a sudden surge in emotion... till you cant tell if it were a good or bad feeling... just something rather overpowering... frankly i cant put it to words... thats why i'm starting to sound incoherent and weird... oh well... thats the beauty of life itself... it's an experience... one that needs to be felt... not read or talked about... i guess the same goes for relationships... u cant talk abt it too much... it has to be felt... both in terms of touch and emotion... just hope that i'm feeling the rite thing... even as my joy builds up as the days go by... fear, too, accumulates at the back of my mind... just in total fear of the day the fairytale might end... it's quite agonising actually... pretty much on par with the positivity of it all... somehow i know that this isnt the right way to feel... and that i should, in fact, be living for the moment... savouring it while it is there... right in front of me... but i cant help it... just be there... be mine... ...and i'll be content. got 6 modules on hand right now... all examinable... so that means i will be grappling with 6 exams within one week... darn... not sure if i should go on with it... but every single one of the non-core mods has got a reason for me to take them... and after so much agony and hair-tearing... it'll be hard to put any one of these down... oh well... i'll have to try and manage... afterall... i survived the last semester... and emerged in one piece... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:30 --Link to Post |
| 10.1.05 |
 windsurf guys... ----Stef stopped rambling at 11:56 --Link to Post |
 windsurf girls... ----Stef stopped rambling at 11:55 --Link to Post |
 xinyi and i... ----Stef stopped rambling at 11:55 --Link to Post |
| 9.1.05 |
|
feeling quite miserable...
which isnt usually the case... when i'm ultra busy... i feel ultra important and less of the insecurity i usually feel... but feel as if i havent got enuff time this weekend... kinda feel maxed out... rushing from place to place... trying to settle into hostel as well... dad was kinda URGH with my running from place to place... since he is the one getting me from point A to point B... esp if point B is like super inconvenient to get to... been back later than usual for this whole week... oh well... glad i'm going into PGP before he grounds me or something... cant seem to get enough of you... din get my daily dose today... no wonder i'm all cranky... ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:07 --Link to Post |
| 8.1.05 |
|
am happy...
havent been this happy in a long time... just glad everything is going okay... lets hope it stays this way... ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:49 --Link to Post |
| 3.1.05 |
|
its so easy for him to affect my mood...
sometimes i wonder if there moments that arent tainted with thots of him... not that thinking abt him is bad... but just that i should be living more for myself... and my world should revolve less ard him... it only takes monosyllabic answers from him to spoil my day... and statements of artificial monosaccharines to make one... aint helping that my media player is playing the hardest thing... ----Stef stopped rambling at 03:12 --Link to Post |
| 2.1.05 |
|
finally got down to watching the Love Actually VCD i bought donkey months ago...
its not that nobody told me how fantastic it was... the lovey dovey scenes and pretty love stories that alternate throughout the movie... but just hadnt got the time nor the occasion to sit myself down for 2 whole hrs... finally decided that if i dont watch it before sch starts again in a week... i'll probably put it off another year... only regret though... is not watching it before christmas... or ON christmas day for that matter... maybe it would have given me enuff strength, courage and whatever i need... to tell him how i feel abt him... ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:18 --Link to Post |
| 1.1.05 |
|
its been a weird NYE i guess...
felt feverish in the morning... decided to stay in... first NYE away from the beach... din go for PF's dinner as well... first NYE in a long time not with mr tan and gang... hiaks... but decided to join the NUS peeps for another one of our weird itineries... met at 9pm at parkway... went to kallang waterfront... had boatride... went to PA to countdown... then airport to pick prez ben up... and ended off with kopi and sinful desserts... okay... i think the sinful desserts is just me... oh well... how can i resist tiramisu and caramel ice blended? keep me away from kopi bean and teh leaf! crappy day... but not one w/o self reflection and an attempt to make new year resolutions... attempt which remained an attempt... coz nuthing substantial came out... oh well... must aim to better my CAP next sem though... jia you! found out while blog-surfing that one of my eng klassmates is actually part of the 17th SC back in AJC... woah... small world small world... and i didnt know that... am so gonna ask him abt it if i see him online... lalala... din know i have a fellow AJCian in my klass... oh well... am changing klasses already... sad... but true... in this first day of the new year... lets hope that... ...pple with loved ones missin' in the disaster-striken areas finally hear from them. ...pple who are sick get better to enjoy the weekend before school starts. ...everyone to have a better year ahead. zzzzzzzzzzzz........ ----Stef stopped rambling at 04:14 --Link to Post |
| template and images ©
elementopia 2003 |