| 29.8.04 |
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weekend passed really quickly...
kinda insignificant compared to how long and draggy the week turned out.. lots of life-changing events... but long, tiring, exhausting... miss my family lots... but i do get to see them alot... so it's fine... watch TV with them like nobody's business... played spacecubes together... its damn freaking intriuging... just kept playing with it... shifted abit of my furniture tonite... room feels more spacious now... very much bigger... tmr we having a cookout... should be pretty fun... esp since i'm not the kind who would cook at home... we'll see how tmr... maybe some pasta... and instant stuff... should be fun... school week's starting again... got lotsa homework... wondering whether i should work late... or wake early... the marathon shorter by 3 hours tmr... coz landscape class is cancelled coz of individual conferences... and physics tut is next week... good and bad... oh well... going for sports ball with wsfing comm... 10/09... should be fun... havent really got to know them yet... but been speaking to them on msn and seen them ard school... quite a cool bunch of pple... =) will get back to work now.. niteZ! ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:38 --Link to Post |
| 26.8.04 |
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the stress is finally kicking in...
been writing essays and things that look like essays the last few days... and i'm mentally exhausted... been to a couple of interviews... YEP to thailand... wsfing comm... am gonna be team captain... was thinking it's gonna be the best way to contribute... not my skills... coz it's more like the-lack-of-skills... but i hope it's gonna be fun... found another mech student... living in PGP as well... great stuff... i can bug him with homework and the like... and maybe even go to lectures together some time... the people i spoke to so far sound superb... and i'm hoping that it'll be a good year ahead for us... considering we're hosting IVP... back to the academic part of uni life... gawd... lotsa deadlines... trying to rush everything out soon... so that i can go DnD on friday... weird stuff... but ya... thought it'll be good to just hang out and hang loose with my fellow USP mates... what better way than to play dress up... we're doing Bollywood this year... i'll probably try to borrow my sis' punjabi suit or something... i think things are finally starting to pick up on my side... tend to bump into more people... having lunches and dinners together... less of the go ard, bumping blindly alone... and stuff... finally finding a bit more direction in life in uni... cluster mates are finally opening up... just had a mini stress out session with diana and xinyi... all of us have drafts to produce by weekend... siong stuff... but i guess we just have to try hard... uni life is gonna be alot of such stuff... we cant beat it... but as least we could huddle together and give each other a little of the support we all need... am totally into claypot stuff these days... in a week... i ate like 2 claypot chicken rice... one claypot seafood noodles... and one claypot tofu... hahhaa... i'm thinking of mapo tofu soon too... but meeting my parents for dinner tomorrow... am looking forward to it... miss them alot... and can tell my dad still misses/worries for me alot too... lets hope tmr will be a bright sunny day... not too humid... but utterly fun and eventful! cheers! ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:07 --Link to Post |
| 23.8.04 |
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start to another week in uni...
spent the weekend in hostel... trying to do the tutorials myself... to no success... most of the time i just stare blankly at the question... but no answer seem to pop back at me... end up having to ask cc over msn how to do the questions... so chaam... poor cc... consoled him saying yc survived helping me thru a levels... but jialat lah... i got so down... i was wondering why i came to mech engin... all the maths and physics... kinda rethinking my choice... but its not as if i enjoy the arty subjects either... the USP modules are draining me out...the readings, the you-must-contribute-and-participate-actively-in-class... not like its a bad thing... just that i'm taking a little too much time trying to adapt and adjust... aint that used to it... at all... went home on friday... came back on sat... then had dinner with family last nite and stayed at home again... had breakfast with parents this morning before coming in again... bro's has been telling me how my dad kept asking him if i was on msn... and my mom told me that dad misses me alot... that he even asked her, "dont you miss your daughter?"... and to think i was slightly irritated when he kept calling me at nite to check on me... feel bad... coz i wanted the freedom and trust... which i thot he wasnt giving me... but the fact is... my dad just misses me... i miss all at home too... but unlike when i was training in penang or thailand... all i needed to do if i wanted to see them... was to take a cab back... or get my dad to drop by... but it's true that it feels kinda lonely here... i'm not that used to staying alone in the room... the only other time being the 6 days in thailand before wq arrived... i was so freaked about staying alone in a foreign country i was considering bunking with the guys... but at least i have friends here in PGP... a scream-for-one-another neighbour next door... and other weekly Singapore Idol kakis... have a lesson at 10... which i'm not totally prepared for... today's my first 8 hour lunchless marathon... lets hope i survive... coz this will be the way things will go for the next 15 weeks or so... ----Stef stopped rambling at 09:04 --Link to Post |
| 19.8.04 |
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went to windsurfing welcome tea today...
alone... sad, but true... most of the people ard not that keen on the sport... and those who are... are involved in other welcome teas, eg. VCF, or involved in IBG... oh well... did see a number of familiar faces though... qiaoling of course, timothy, zhiyou, charmaine... which is great really... love the feeling of rediscovering frenz... zhiyou for example... know that he's in NUS... but havent met him for real yet... till today... he din recognise me... he said coz i look older now... duh... i DID grow older... but he remembered my name when i told him i'm from TK... timothy said he din recognise me coz of my shorter hair... thats some consolation... tough to feel forgotten... but have been crapping with zhiyou since... dunnoe why... even though i dont remember being on crapping terms with him back when we knew each other... feels great to rediscover old frenz... although its great to make new ones too... now i can say i have a fren in every faculty liaoz... hahha... i keep track of the dumbest things... was with mom in PGP lift when i met sam... hahha... was like "yeah...this is my mom..." then when i wanted to intro him to my mom... i turned to him and "who are you ah?"... i must have sounded ultra stupid... but its a weird relation... coz i dont know him from klass... nor from CCA... but just happen to have lunch together and realise we're in the same block... oh well... i guess you make friends in the weirdest ways here... did i ever mention he writes his own songs??? and sing super well??? he must be one of the most talented archi students i know... and Mr Chinese-who-spouts-Tamil-profanities, renjie... interesting people we have here really... rene coming over to NUS tomorrow... gonna go eat genki... have been spending lots of money of late... time to cut down really... books are so expensive too... and this laptop i'm typing on wasnt that cheap either... there's alot of money involved in uni education... paying so much to work so hard... so weird... but i guess i'll just go with the flow... cant afford to disappoint my parents.... sleep! got a 8 o'clock tmr... meeting stella at 740... nice song on radio now... kiss me by sixpence none the richer... kiss me out of the bearded barley lightly, beside the green, green grass... swing, swing, swing the spinning step... you wear those shoes and i will wear that dress... oh kiss me beneath the milky twilight lead me out on the moonlit floor lift your open hand... strike up the band and make the fireflies dance... silver moon's sparkling so kiss me... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:43 --Link to Post |
| 18.8.04 |
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week 2 in NUS...
reading load is quite terrible... just for my USP modules i'm on an average of 40 pages per week... of text i dont understand at all... fun stuff... still grappling with the new stuff... trying to settle down... flustered... but finally seeing abit of the light... might be joining qiaoling in wsfing once again... much as i have sworn off the sport... i cant seem to let go... been away from the beach for more than half a year... feeling super lost/aimless/useless... most of all... feels as if i let mr tan down... some of the really helpful seniors... and team mates i had grown so attached to... picture of sam on water is my wallpaper now... much as i would liked to put my own... realised my stance is too ugly... will go for their welcome tea today... and see where i can fit in... signed up for climbing as well... elza helped me with that... thats tomorrow... hopefully i'll remember... and go for it... yeay... have alwayz wanted to climb... =) must get down to reading my stuff... and try to participate in klass... will try my darnest... not to sound stupid, that is... ----Stef stopped rambling at 15:48 --Link to Post |
| 16.8.04 |
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this is probably my first time blogging from my laptop...
feels not bad really... oni that jianwei is rite when he said that toshibas need to be used in the fridge... they heat up pretty fast... and it gets quite scary... having quite a number of lessons tomorrow... tutorials havent started... and i'm on a 6 hr day already.... when they do... i'm screwed... it's been great in PGP so far... was watching TV in diana's room... law and order: SVU... the surroundings are serene... i can have my boombox playing pretty audibly... but no one's complaining... am on smiling terms with most of my neighbours... caught a huge bee in diana's room last week... she screamed my name when she saw the bee fly into her room... had to go over and do something abt it... even though i was kinda scared as well... put it in a plastic bag... banded it up... and shoved it down the chute... was shaking by the end of the whole ordeal... but i guess it's the start of independence... no more daddy-kill-the-flying-thingy-for-me... am reading pretty dry stuff now... for my Reading Landscapes klass... klass is super enthu... responsive... everything Mr Wee would have liked us to be... am kinda quiet in klass actually... its the anti-superiority... trying to overcome it... and start speaking up... regardless of how dumb i might actually sound... it's probably the oni way i can improve... and make the most out of my time in USP... miss my family actually... dont get to see them as often as before... grandparents too... grandad kept asking me today if i was going back to hostel tonite... wonder if my granny had been asking for me again... parents have been very concerned... giving me morning calls and all... but i guess it's also time that i learnt to do this all by myself... while i relish the attention given... i long for them to give me more trust and freedom... have lessons at 10 tomorrow... will blog more in time to come... ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:45 --Link to Post |
| 9.8.04 |
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For the online forum for my Lit module.
Cinema I liked Eternal Sunshine, my friend hated it. Have always wondered why sometimes people can have such disparate views of the same movie. Why they didn't enjoy the visual spectacle in Troy (and i don't mean the occasional view of Pitt in the buff)? Why they didn't appreciate having module:"Proper use of the Hokkien dialect" tied in free with The Best Bet? One movie, different Pleasures derived. Take the Korean movie Brotherhood for example, some absolutely love the blood and gore, some drool over the dishy male stars, some liked the teary storyline and others, simply hated it. Pleasure It might help to recall how Dr Chan started his little lesson on Friday, getting us to introduce ourselves and sharing with everyone what gives us Pleasure. No two answers were the same, (don't think Dr Chan would allow for that anyway), each and everyone had a different answer. We found the masochists, the slackers, the insomniacs and the i-am-weird-so-sue-me. We gave each person an Identity based on what gives them Pleasure, regardless of how accurate it actually is. While it might seem incorrect to connect Pleasure and Identity, how many of us can deny that we remember Joel for the confession he made and not his year or course of study? Seldom do we do things that are unpleasurable (though i can't say the same about tutorials and assignments) and what we do does have a connection to who we truly are. Identity ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:39 --Link to Post |
| 7.8.04 |
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been a number of days staying in school...
havent been sleeping much... doing stuff for rag day... USP's item was not as spectacular or fantastic as the rest... but i guess the fact that the few of us did put in effort to make it good... sufficed... it's the process that matters... what we walk away with after the whole experience... there were simply too few of us ard... we counted the number of people at the grandstand from USC... at max 18? din see alot of freshies arrd.... some were having econs lecture... some just din turn up... oh well... the USP blocks at PGP are pretty good really... now we have a grp of us... into playing bridge in the TV room... sleeping on the sofa... visiting each other's rooms... poor shaun though... only guy among the bulk of us girls in this bunch... chelsea, berwine, diana, yizhen, yonghui, shihui... found a neighbour to chat with during showers... a number of seniors who are rather nice... people i know taking my modules... only prb is i dunnoe anyone from my engineering klass... din go for engin orientation... but oh well... would probably get to know more pple... soon... i hope.. met my lit module lecturer already... rather scary an experience... people in the USP classes are super articulate... fluent and everything great... feel rather anti-superior... but i guess it would be an opportunity to see what i am capable of... that i, at least, make it to the end of sem 2... readings that i have to do are super hard to understand... lotsa movies to watch for this module... but they are done outside curriculum time... which is bad... coz it means i'll have less time for everything else... am starting to doubt my physics/maths ability once again... questioning why i did choose mech engin... am a little lost and confused... but i guess it's a natural phase... just saw the advert of maroon 5's CD.... sounds super nice... wanna get it... wanna watch the village as well... think it will be cool... but aint going out as much as before... to think i complain i din have tim eto go out when i was training over weekends last time... now that i have the time... i stay at home/hostel to rot... am becoming rather reserved, hermit-like of late... cant explain why... havent got my laptop yet... stella ng who ordered it one day later than i did got it already... same model... took loan too... eeky stuff... would feel super lost without a personal computer with me in hostel... let's hope i'll get it soon... tired... will go sleep... family bbq tomorrow... stuff to start reading up on... planning to meet up with renez... sleep... din sleep last nite... and the nite before was a pathetic 5 hrs... was practically floating ard the place by this afternoon... cleaning up the area with lots thinner din help either.... tired... ciaoz... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:45 --Link to Post |
| 3.8.04 |
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day today was fine i guess...
other than the fact my buddies pon me during the module talk today... so i was sitting alone alone till i started smiling at this girl beside me... i'm not psycho... just friendly... and found some people i didnt really get to know earlier... but the day turned out slightly better... met rebecca of 11/02... hung out with her and a TPJC girl for most of the day... attended FIC... the USP orientation is kinda a lack of an orientation... none of the usual everybody-follow-your-OGL thingy... more own-time-own-target... you come if you want to... great food provided i must say... though i would rather more of an orientation to quench the lost and flustered mind... met more pple... mostly girls coz i'm shy... yeah rite... met some seniors... a few who are really nice... went out with the bunch for dinner and kopi at holland village... talked abt crap, modules, tips, stuff... my table's list of topics was much tamer than the other one... with subjects ranging from polygamy, gayism, SM, feminism, etc etc... while the mood was queer at my table... considering we havent really met one another for real prior to this... we survived... and i walked away, a happy individual... popped by the room in the morning before the module talks... the splish splash of rain on the panes kinda made it seem all the more homely... i'm starting to like my room... esp the fact that i have somewhere to retreat to between lessons and tutorials... 'tis cool... am glad... would be even more great when i get my laptop... move in my boombox... and get my nice comfy sheets over my mattress... let's hope i'll never get bedbug problems... and that i'll have a great term in my room... got my 4 pre-allocated modules for engineering already... bidded for 2 USP modules... got them rather cheaply... probably because no one in the right state of mind would choose something he/she doesnt know anything abt... writing and critical thinking: Reading Landscapes... like i even know what that is? topics in Lit2: Cinema, Pleasure, Identity... sounds cool? i thot so... apparently i hear from the seniors the lecturers for these modules are wonderful people... i'm trusting what i hear... and looking forward to the start of lessons next week... kinda consolidated my timetable already... monday is a lunch-less marathon of 10am to 6pm... sounds terrible... but i should count my lucky stars that USP blk is rite next to the engin fac... i probably wouldnt be too late for lessons... after the marathon is 2 days of restful meditation... 2 hrs on tues and another 2 hrs on wed... and i'm done... would be great for rushing homework... and doing all things non-academic... friday is another marathon... but at least i have a two hr lunch break... only downside for now is that i totally no inkling, whatsoever of how my klassmates are like... dont know anyone from the lists i went through... up side? stella ng, PC, YXY, CC, william, i think chris too... are in the same lecture group... happy... but dont think i can see them often... kinda regretted not going for camps... but oh well... you cant have your pie and eat it at the same time... win some, lose some... at least i dont regret having stayed back in Milk to ride us out the madrush... ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:48 --Link to Post |
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