| 30.6.06 |
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must relationships always be trade-offs? or one must always strive for the best... and not settle for less... i've been hearing stories about boyfriends who are so ridiculous... immature... bloody cheats... flirts... jerks... but where the women cannot stop defending their men... and dishes out their weak defences... being very conscious of it all... are flowers, jewellery, presents, reason enough to tolerate horrible treatment? or are these just excuses to hide the materialistic side in everyone of us? are these fireworks worth more than the perfect guy... ...the ever-elusive and probably extinct one? somehow i would love for the guy to treat me more like a girl... pamper me... fuss over me and all of the above... but he doesnt... and i have never received a present outside the usual birthday, valentines' or etc... there isnt fireworks... nor out-of-the-blue surprises... zero, zilch, NONE... sometimes i think to myself that it's the trade-off for finding the almost perfect him... someone who is more mature... ...therefore overlooking my flaws and frequent outbursts... someone who doesnt cheat... ...or at least, not that i know of... someone who doesnt scream at me or throw his temper around... ...other than telling me day after day that he is very tired after work... ...and therefore cannot send me home, only to tune in to the World Cup... i would love to say that i'm not jealous of the chocolates, gifts, flowers others receive... but, truth be told, i am... while practically useless... these prove to be psychologically powerful... i really dunnoe what i would rather have... a near-perfect relationship... ...with near-zero fireworks? or a fireworks and sparks relationship... ...spiced with lotsa of quarrels/breaks/patch-ups? maybe... ...i just need Royce chocolates, flowers by the dozen and a romantic stroll by the river... ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:41 --Link to Post |
| 28.6.06 |
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dinner with the guy and his friend... Fish and Co was below expectations... at least in my opinion... service was slow... prawns didnt seem that fresh... only fun was the company... was probably the first time i didnt clam up with his friend around... this probably worked out better coz i met him without the guy around first... production work has been tiring... but way fun... i've been travelling 'round Singapore like a tourist... and i get to claim cab fare! but it's really interesting to look like Singapore from a tourist point of view... everything seems more interesting and novel... and you tune your eye to the quirkier details of our little sunny island-state... and i had a bum-boat ride! production work also means that i have the chance to meet the guy for lunch... when i am recce-ing the CBD area... or when i am between appointments... more mobility... more flexibility... the hours are killing me... but the job is definitely one-of-a-kind.... and everyday is a new experience... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:43 --Link to Post |
| 25.6.06 |
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it's been so fast... was talking about Hong Kong during our walk to Toa Payoh Interchange... when i realised it has been a year since Taiwan... i am so ill-travelled that destinations become milestones... a long time really... that means we almost known each other for 2 years... been together for probably a year and a half... not a long time compared to some... but still significant in my opinion... i dont know if it's because i'm older... and hopefully, wiser... but with him... there isn't stuff like quarrels, tiffs or face-offs... we never had two people simultaneously angry before... and times when he gets angry with me... was probably just twice... though it is a multitude of times that i got pissed with him... fault lying with me as well... picking on the little things... and we never had the repeated break-ups and patches... save for the time i suggested a kit kat break to re-evaluate what we really want... which didnt materialise... sometimes it's scary how comfortable we are with one another now... hanging out at his place watching TV... falling asleep after work at his place while he goes for a evening run... only to be forced awake at 0130 hrs to be sent home... watching him play Pro Soccer or whatever that soccer computer game is called... and rolling my eyes when he gives me the "My-Brazil-won-England-4-2" look... but it feels good to be able to share a connection like this with someone... doing and discovering new things together... though he has been to HK before... i love this guy... and it's not hard to see why... ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:06 --Link to Post |
| 23.6.06 |
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today was the first time i went for a recce by myself... so exciting... and for the first face-to-face liasion with a location... they were very very nice... yippie yai yo! i think producers need very thick skin to be in this business... something i dont have... will go street casting tomorrow... to try make me more throw face... woohoo! ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:38 --Link to Post |
| 18.6.06 |
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i suggested Hong Kong to the guy... you know? our yearly trip... only that we had only one so far... and he said okay... i've suggested countless stuff... and he seems okay with them all... KL... cruise... Hong Kong... but of course we cant afford them all... i am so going to make Hong Kong happen... i'll stop shopping in SG... save the whole of my pay... live off my staff welfare of smarties, hersheys and baileys... yeah rite... i mean the baileys... but we definitely have a problem with language... oh well... no harm dreaming... we can always fall back on my shopping in KL plans... not much... but still a getaway... ----Stef stopped rambling at 15:37 --Link to Post |
| 15.6.06 |
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shooting is fun if there are no hiccups... have been alternating to be present on shoot with Jasmine... and funnily enough... i get the days that are relatively smooth sailing... office days are mad too... madder to be precisely... it's like being at HQ... and juggling casting all at the same time... lalala... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:32 --Link to Post |
| 11.6.06 |
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after a 6-day work week... i dragged my lazy ass over to Downtown East for Jasmine's birthday... only she has enough face to warrant a full attendance from my batch of basketballers... so it has been a while... and we didnt waste the chance to photo whore...  finally a reunion after so long... the shorties in front... the controllers and forwards...  with the juniors... 4 of them... everyone still looks basically the same.. i'm in a cap coz of the horribly short hairstyle i am sporting now... freak out!  we couldnt get enough... this was arranged according to jersey numbers... i'm 5! the sum of my favourite number, 23, added up individually... wahahaha....  with rene and kitying... think i'm getting better with a camera... having done casting for almost 200 people over the last couple of weeks... but i think i'm best BEHIND the camera...  again... the neoprint squeeze...  candid... was trying to get a candid... so i mouthed to the person with the camera... "just take, just take..." and made a whole lot of noise... so that it'll be nice and rowdy...  the act-dao look... with jasmine stifling a laugh... we think she look like monkey... wahahaha... and rene looks spastic... spent some time crapping at Mac's thereafter... i really miss them donkey banana loads... it's like time travel back to sec school days all over again... everyone's older now... but i guess deep down... we're all the same... HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jasmine. ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:15 --Link to Post |
| 10.6.06 |
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it's stressful... but i'm really loving the job... ok... i'm only 20% as stressed as my colleagues are... but the workaholic me loves the long hours and madness of the whole industry... so much so that i am heading back to a meeting with the clients on a bright Saturday afternoon... giving up the chance of earning an additional 90 bucks over the weekend by teaching course... i dont get OT!!! oh well... but i really miss the guy... i dont spend more than 2 hours with him anymore... it's like meet at 8.30pm for dinner... gobble down food... rush home... but he's a workaholic too... so, same feathers eh? ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:37 --Link to Post |
| 7.6.06 |
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having not seriously clubbed before... dancing away to The Cat Empire live repertoire was an experience indeed... was with Wil, Tes, Qiaoling, Yijun, Justin, Joel and the guy... having not been to a club with the bf before... it was utterly amusing watching him dance... coz i never saw him this spontaneous nor enthusiastic about anything before... save for windsurfing... but i must say the band is really good... they made groupies out of us... the guy and i bought CDs and caps from their mechandise booth... swing, reggae, jazz, etc... you name it... they've got it... tuesday was with the windsurf gang again... Acid Bar for live music... Baolun treated everyone's first drink... which was wow... never knew that having a dentist for a friend gives more perks than special dental appts... they have really good calamari and fries... yummy! ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:40 --Link to Post |
| 4.6.06 |
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left work at 730 pm on a saturday... casting people is fun... you shake hands... make small talk... attempt to make them feel more at ease... play with the kids... make them laugh... give them sweets... take photos using a pro camera and lighting... attempt to catch natural spontaneity... play hide and seek with our resident cats so that they dont appear in the photos... fun really... especially the meet-people part... think i shook over a hundred fifty hands over the last 6 days... met the guy for our usual fare at far east... walked around abit... took the bus back to his place... hung out... listened to his new CD... The Cat Empire... playing for the last night at the waterfront@Esplanade tonight... cool band... dragged our feet to the bus-stop so that he could send me home... he refused to give me my wallet... coz he was carrying my bag... my guy-ish brown bag... the only one he was willing to carry... said he wanted to see how i panicked when the bus driver see that i never scan my card... made me sit on green seats.... those that really make me super uncomfortable... coz i'm not pregnant, old or young... play chopsticks and ji-ko-pa... until we realised that i was sub-consciously putting stone-scissors-paper sequentially... my dad picked us up at the interchange... sent the guy home to Thomson... -_-" while we went to get supper... ate with my bro... so eventful. ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:53 --Link to Post |
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