| 17.3.08 |
|
i know i've been ranting that i havent got time to do everything... but i'm still here? maybe my saving grace is that i'm typing this over a styrofoam box of oily wanton mee... wanton mee without the wanton... coz i think char siew rocks... but that is definitely not the crux of my post today... well... concern came in various forms about the emo posts... i think posts like that are the only way to smoke out silent voyeurs... but then again... they have been so sweet... i love you lovely people... *hugs* and they have no way of making their presence known... considering i have no tagboard... no comment function... or so i thought... but back to the original point... *stuffs her face full of noodles* i am quite fine... it has nothing to do with the wonderful boyfriend... coz he has been amazing... save for the times when he pokes me in the ribs and insist he was acting sub-consciously... sometimes i wish he would grow up... but then again... i think he only does that to match up to my lack of maturity... where was i? emo posts, right. it's really quite the norm for me... if you read the stuff in the earlier days of this blog you will know what i mean... but the only problem is... i thought i would recover more quickly... and not be so much of a dork... i dont exactly know what dork means... just think it sounds cool-BAD... *eats the last of the char siew* quite frankly... i dont even know how to explain what happened... coz in actual fact... nothing did... maybe i was just a little disappointed at myself for not becoming more mature over the years.. it was just so weird.... that it reminds me of the times during JC or sec sch... where i would have a empire-state-building-magnitude of a crush... then have the guy (not THAT guy) ignore and avoid me like the plague... let's see... i think i pestered the ex for a while.... (until he threatened to set the dogs loose...) i think i hung on to a "not-here, not-there, not-anywhere" for a good period of time... ('o' levels period.... it's a miracle i survived...) and my confession of a crush on the class-genius... came right on the dot of the 'a' levels.... (but this one ended well i guess... we became pretty good study buddies for the killer ME core modules...) last night was pure torture... couldnt sleep at all... so i effectively wasted about 6 good hours that i could have spent on my FYP.... ok... maybe you have to minus about 1 hr when i gave up trying to sleep... went online and did a practice paper... i think the stress finally got to me... it always does when i am finally down in bed... and the mind starts wandering and making a mental list of what i have not achieved... guy was sweet... i called him at 1am and started crying... so he was forced to say nice things to me for 10mins... i laid in bed till 6plus in the morning... where i had to pretend i was sleeping like a log... just so my parents didnt have to worry about me... where in actual fact i havent slept a wink... and had a long day to slave through... and now it's almost the end of the day... but i made a check list... and putting a nice, thick stroke through things i have done is quite therapeutic indeed.... i have about half of the list checked off... but its a week-long thing... so i guess it'll have to come slowly... i really ought to get back to work... Genes and Society test this saturday... finance presentation on monday... FYP submission and finance quiz following monday... and i havent started ranting about no one wanting to hire me... or give me an interview for that matter... i think i have been rather blessed so far... most things in my life have always been going my way... so now... when its such a problem deciding what i want to do in life... and getting the right companies to take interest in me... it's really getting to me... but i guess it's all part and parcel of growing up... i guess i can always fall on my back-up plan... to become a tai-tai... but like i told nick... considering the guy is still jobless too... this tai-tai will be sipping lattes at kopitiams, playing online mahjong and shopping at pasar malams... ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:57 --Link to Post |
| template and images ©
elementopia 2003 |