| 30.9.03 |
|
fren's going in for an op tonite...
pray for her safety and well-being... aint easy on her... this being a'level period and all... but may god give her strength to conquer all this... ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:05 --Link to Post |
|
damn tired...
dunnoe why... maybe coz stayed up to wish gene happy birthday last nite... din get to speak to him at 12 though... coz he wasnt at home... din call his hp... coz i reckon that if he wasnt at home... he'd probably be out at the pubs with his frenz... oh well... msged him... even though his phone's been acting up pretty much... called him after civics today... he sound damn blur.. i think i heard him saying tat he just got out of the shower... good for him... called him on sunday nite actually... wasnt having that good a day... kinda looking for someone to speak to... but i guess he wasnt having a good day too... cant rem how it all went... but vaguely rem me saying bye... and putting down the phone without waiting for a reply... prior to that was this horrid silence... bleah... he called me again... i hung him up once... got his sms... abt being sorry and all... picked up his next call... exercised nonchalance... felt bad actually... on my side... tat i failed to understand him... tat guy has been hurting from a back injury for days on end... yet i wasnt able to accept his slight edginess... haiz... since then... havent been talking to him the same anymore... ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:00 --Link to Post |
| 29.9.03 |
|
did quite badly for my papers...
as far as results for the papers i got back are concerned... output doesnt justify input... not that i worked as hard as YXY or anything... that would be insane... though i spent hours on end chatting to gene on the phone... slept my afternoons away... stared at cute guys at the library all the time... i must say i put more effort into this compared to all my other examinations lor.. and these were the papers i thot i would do not bad in... am sad... but i guess i brought it upon myself... tried to work hard but... haiz... i guess it aint good enough... esp when i have been slacking for almost 2 whole years... am trying... but am tempted to go out every single day... God bless my pathetic soul... give me strength to pull thru this... ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:25 --Link to Post |
|
watched pirates of the carribean today...
darn... its one helluva movie... loved johnny depp... his suave...charmingly endearing demeanour... orlando bloom for his swoomsome swashbuckling moves... man... cass and i were totally blown over... screaming... grabbing each other... drooling... man... like excited little girls watching hi-5... was happie... realised that we enjoyed each others' company pretty much... or at the very least... i did... oh ya... we saw li nanxing and fiona xie filming at toa payoh central... hehee... once again... we were scurrying abt like stalkers... =P i had fun... i hope she did too! ----Stef stopped rambling at 19:50 --Link to Post |
| 28.9.03 |
|
just found something out...
was listening to all the .mid files i had... noticed something i never noticed... coz there's this part abt copyright... stared at it really really long... realised i've been duped... by ben... no less... that ediot took some of the songs from this young jap pianist lor... dot dot dot... man! and it took me 3 whole years to find out... angry at being duped... but in a way... happy that he bothered to fake me... he sucks lor! the nice happy days one is one by her... titled aptly... Happy Days... grr... but still glad that some of the files are indeed BY HIM... characteristically peppered with errors and weird timing... ediot... =P will take those aint by him out... before i get sued or something... but maybe he took the scores or something... small benefit of doubt... heck... maybe this is wad it takes for me to put him down... i guess i was rite when i thot he was too good to be true... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:12 --Link to Post |
|
was talking to james late last nite...
knew him for some time now... 3 years??? i guess so... seriously... how u'd tell if pple were serious abt wad they're saying? i wasnt sure he was... coz it felt weird... to be coming from him... 3 years after we first got to know each other... 0.5 years since we last met... somehow though i yearn to say why not... its the wrong time... and more importantly... wrong person... wrong feelings... esp not after i went thru my email folder... to take out all the .mid ben sent me over the years... reminded of everything... read abt his puppy love... where the first person he liked in primary sch... din become his gf... but his first gf at 12... wasnt someone he liked... that is how ironic life can be... an irony no one can avoid esp in matters of the heart... frankly i dun even know what i'm feeling for ***... coz i havent been able to put ben down yet... considering there's so much of him in my blog... dunnoe... am considering to give him a call.. at home... if there's something i can reach him with... it has to be his home phone... just tat i never liked calling pple at home... but i guess i have to... if i were to really be able to put everything down... and call a truce... TRUCE: tr. & intr.v. truced, truc·ing, truc·es intermission of action, pain.... and as the mood of my blog changes... i guess so would the .mid... its from him too... *change of text* one of my favourite pieces... definitely NOT composed by him... one BIG error... and a few smaller ones...nevertheless... enjoy... ----Stef stopped rambling at 14:25 --Link to Post |
| 27.9.03 |
|
keep checking back...
coz i totally love my blog now... i think it rocks... muahaha.. no lah... just tat i'm pretty happie that after 1 day of trying to fix up the html... i finally got stuff figured out... kinda regretted not paying attention to wf when he grumbled to me abt all the html he has to go thru in poly... maybe should have learnt abit.. it's not fantastic... considering i 'legitimately' stole the template... asked ard abt how to embed the .mid... clicked 'view source' on other pple sites... and finally figured this one out... am happy... the .mid sounds so happy ya??? so cant be blogging sad stuff lah... i'm happy coz... 1. mom's enjoying herself in japan with granny... she sounds like she's chilling out and all... happy that she's taking a good break... 2. dad's been pretty great and all... he seems pretty keen abt changing some stuff ard the house... maybe to surprise my mom when she gets back??? kewl... 3. gene finally called me during pract in sch today... piangz... he din call for like 2-3 days lor... since my b-dae... i thot he died or something... or simply just ignoring me... piangz... phone spoil... dunnoe how these pple spoil their fone... good good nice nice 6610... dunnoe wad he do with it... i smsed him alot lor... he was saying 'pple HIS generation dun really use sms that much...' i HAD to reply with a 'pple my generation love smsing ya??' but at least he called... bleah... 4. saw little eugene (my bro's best fren)'s brother today! darn far lah... but oh well... din go near though... was looking like sh*t after the run... hair in terrible mess... it looks horrible before the run anyway... 5. the run was good... managed a 15:33... sprinted uphill lor... i think i looked like a barrel trying to roll uphill.. buay ta han ah... cannot take it... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:51 --Link to Post |
|
science practs this morning...
piangz... my hand was drenched with NaOH... coz i was refilling the small bottles... piangz... if i'm not wrong... its slightly corrosive... damn pain lor... ouch... wash and wash... the practs very stupid lah... coz my apparatus all very dirty... contaminated lor... lucky i first shift for As... or else jialat... =P today lala birthday... Happy Birthday!!! hehhe... ----Stef stopped rambling at 16:13 --Link to Post |
|
dad was driving my frenz home last nite...
was at serangoon gardens... and he happened to take a wrong turn... into one of the more ulu lanes... suddenly it looked really familiar... until i realised it was his estate... coz it was the entrance we took... when he brought me there... and we sat on the swing and talked hours on end... and the other time when i din wanna go home coz dad was angry with me... he just drove ard aimlessly... telling me abt all the wonderful places he knew... drove into his condo... to show me his 'wife'... before finally convincing me to go home b4 things get worse... am reminded... of him... of things... of wad was there... yet isnt anymore... if only dad din take that turn... the midi that's playing is something he sent me two years ago... he liked to 'compose' quacky stuff... and record them... this one's for me... he said it sounded like me skipping down nicholl highway... which was where we had the big walk... maybe he stole it from some place... but heck... i'm stealing it now... ----Stef stopped rambling at 16:11 --Link to Post |
| 26.9.03 |
|
had the sept babies celebration with the council today...
went marina bay... had a lot of fun and stuff... though i was a tad too conscious of my hair... which is way too short by the way... dunnoe how to salvage the situation... except to outgrow it lor.. ate quite abit... but really... damn happie to see the council together again like tat... jisiaoing each other... crapping... laughing... making hell alot of noise... heck... food wasnt that good... considering we paid 9 bucks for something i paid 7 bucks for b4... =P but the camaderie was well worth the long trip there... i love u guys... thanks for the sweet present... will use the towel for all my sailing trips... heck the nike off-court towel... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:13 --Link to Post |
|
muahhaa...
daddy on leave today... so dated him out for bk breakfast... and went for the john little sale... din get much... just wad i need i guess... lucky the queue i was in was the shortest lor... at least half as short as the rest... so lucky... muahhaha... daddy enquired abt the siemens camera for me at m1... seems like he's pretty keen abt getting it for me... damn ex leh... maybe tell him dunwan... coz it's kinda no use... considering my phone so slow... picture inside will be worse... bleah... dunnoe lah... damn farnie lor... was in m1... daddy asking the girl abt the plans under his name... girl told him this number... and we were wondering whose number it is... look thru our whole phonebook... cant find... not stacy...not mommy...not me...not bro's.. then i finally realised it's my daddy's... toot lor... he din noe! coz its his older number lah... that he never use liaoz... but still! its his number!!! =P hair so short... bleAH... ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:02 --Link to Post |
| 25.9.03 |
|
today the end of prelims liaoz...
phew... paper wasnt tat bad actually... am glad... now have to start mugging for the real thing... but b4 tat... let me take a short break first... went to cut hair today... piangz... even shorter... cant even clip it like i used to... i think really have to use the gel i bot the other time... pengz... i go koon awhile first.. tired... ----Stef stopped rambling at 14:23 --Link to Post |
| 24.9.03 |
|
yujin: piangz!
u so enthu!??!?! last time u sms also never so fast reply... serious case of homesickness i presume... food fattening yeah... but i guess u'd be able to work it off with ur gym/swim/run routine ya??? but then again u'll be mugging ur head off there... maybe the fat will stay as fat... muahhaa... *evil laugh* *momentarily forgets tat i'm gaining weight faster than anything else* *change topic* yaya... the M55... not tat good... but good enough for me lah... abit laggy... but oh well... i'm not running some business or anything... so any errands for me to run for u back in sg??? send some girl flowers, chocs? i just need the address, cash and tips... =P i think i'm acting like some spirit medium helping restless souls finish their unfinished business... hhehe... but i think no need lah... u've got edward! sen: eh... u just insulted frenship lor... thats wad frens are all abt... to be there for u when u need them... ya???? its never one way... i.e. for u to be there for them... i'm sure we're more than willing to hear u out as well... the complexity of human behaviour lies in the ways in which we are unavoidably interdependent on one another... i sound preachy... bleah... well... my HP's alwaz there for ur smses... =) ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:34 --Link to Post |
|
dunnoe why sen and gene can see my tag board...
i cant see it leh... really! have to log on to my tagboard account to check for msges... *pengz* yeah... so here i am... replying to them again... yujin: made in germany??? *shrugs* oni know that i love my phone now... din regret changing from nokia man... siemens rule... oh yeah... edward msged me saying that u asked him to pass me ur email... huh? u could tag it here rite??? scared pple start spamming u if ur mail addy is out for the world to see here? fair enough... just wanted to tell u i got it liaoz... missing sg??? wanted to write to u abt all the wonderful stuff in sg... hmm... food...food...glorious food... chicken rice? nasi lemak? laksa? meesiam? horfun? and ya... u better write to ur good fren more... he bored until he has to sms me periodically... not tat i mind... just that i think i'll bore him even more... take care take care... hmm... was thinking... have u been reading my blog coz u miss sg??? maybe maybe... =P sen: i guess they lose their charm after a certain age... i know of pple who totally forget abt theirs... oh well... still am trying to keep the joy of birthdays growing... i cant really rem pple birthdays tat well... but i when i tell pple happy birthday... i really mean it... that they'll be happy on that day... sen... know that u havent been really cheerful in recent times... wanted u to know i really hope the joyful/playful/cheerful/cheeky sen will be back soon... would happily let u pull my hair band... if thats wad it takes... saw the hp-porsche advert last nite... but forgot the last two lines... anybody remembers or wanna suggest anything? tag me... if u can see my tag-board tat is... i am the wind... i wonder alone... to where? ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:14 --Link to Post |
|
today paper not bad lah...
at the very least... i TRIED all the qns... but whether or not they are correct... is anoher issue altogether... spotted alot of errors already actually... so oh well... ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:45 --Link to Post |
| 23.9.03 |
|
i dunnoe why...
alwaz feel weird on my birthday... in a sense... i'm happie that pple ard remember... and do sweet things for me... on my special day... lala wrote me an ultra touching letter... i cried while i was in the bus... councillors ard beckoning me over to their canteen bench... oni to shower me with hugs and wishes... klass staying back... away from maths revision for lala and my cake... sms from my frenz in TJ... bernie...renez...jieying.. mr tan... who was ultra sweet in his msg... so happie he remembered.... shuzhen... who was dear enuff to msg me and all... casey... msging me from BMT camp... amazed he remembered... =) aunt came over for the cake and stuff... and mom got me the coffee cake from bengawan solo... nice... though i wanted an ice cream cake actually... but it was sweet of them... however... cant really say i'm happie... frankly i dunnoe why... its alwaz like dat on my birthday... but before any of u start thinking 'hmm...'... like the CD my klassmates gave me... i'm ok... went for jog... different route today... wanted to avoid the stretch which stank becoz of the rubbish from the pasar malam that just cleared the day b4... not bad not bad... the route... just tat hate the uphill stretch... bleah... will go back to maths now... need a miracle for tmr... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:06 --Link to Post |
| 22.9.03 |
|
came back from jog ard 7...
but i think i havent been exercising for some time now... pushed myself abit too far... wasnt a long jog... but went abit too fast... chasing after the cute guy in front lah... never knew there were so many pple running at this time... 6pm shall be my preferred time to jog... muahahha.... hehe... not that i'm trying to tell the whole world abt tmr... but was thinking most, if not all, of the pple who reads my blog knows abt it liaoz... its my b-dae tmr... actually thru'out my life... b-daes have been a really special part of my life... till a few years back... when my relationship with wf started going downhill rite abt this time... one year after that i started losing contact with ben as well... b-daes used to be so special to me... to an extent that ben celebrated every month's 23rd for me... either by sending me candies through mail... e-cards... ultra pricey surfing mags that i never beared to part with my money for... or even just a simple sms that went like... its the 23rd today... happie monthly birthdae... which i read while i was shivering in the cold when the storm hit at the beach... it made me feel so warm... that i didnt need to hide behide the optimist boats no more... just coz i had my phone in my hand... though i was wet... with salt water and rain... and hiding from the blistering wind... the sms kept me warm... but one thing for sure... i have my family ard... sibs asked me out to marche... parents agreed to my pattaya trip as my prezzie... gonna cost them a bomb... feel bad... but i cant afford it myself... even though its heavily subsidised... and bringing me out for my fav black pepper crabby last nite... sen msg-ed me last nite thinking that its 22nd... gene's wished me in advanced... merser/lala said they'll owe me the pressie... alwin asking for the past weeks wad i want... nanny asking my mom to give me a red packet on her behalf... its been 6 years since she stopped taking care of me... but she never forgot... lurve her to bits... she has been like a surrogate mother to me... ben leng asking me wad i want and stuff like dat... aunt gave me red packet just now... lurve u pple to bits... thankew... been one of the nicest pre-b-daes in years... dun think i can sleep tonite... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:45 --Link to Post |
|
physics p1/2 today...
bleah... think i'm gonna fail big time... small time... anytime... but ate unagi rice burger...corn soup...milk tea... feel so contented... am happie... =) ----Stef stopped rambling at 15:22 --Link to Post |
| 21.9.03 |
|
cant seem to see my tag board on this side...
but went to my tag board account... read the stuff from gene and sen... hehe... good to hear all that... gene: the M55's orange... the nicer looking one ya?? know urs is the other color... hehhe... chocs and bottle wasnt a prb... student budget ya... but it was a good way to force me on a diet though... sen: yeaps... cant go for DnD... will/must/shall take photos with all my frenz before jc comes to a close... lurve u people to bits... dont feel down... must know tat u have more than a lifetime to look forward to... setbacks only make u stronger... life is hope... of happiness...love...compassion... u have frenz like me ard u... always... its back to physics for now... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:21 --Link to Post |
|
was speaking to eugene on the fone yesterdae...
just a disclaimer... not the one in the UK now... heard the distinct sound of a lighter... asked him whether he was smoking... he admitted... matter-of-factly... i asked why.. and mentioned i never liked pple doing it... but matter-of-factly as well... he said... it makes me feel good... so i do it... if it takes 10 years off my life... fair enough... seriously... have frens who smoke... yes... my best fren in sec sch... my coach... uncle ben... so on and so forth... but like my best fren... she makes it a conscious effect not to do it in my presence... but this... has got to be the first time... that i actually am convinced of his case... for smoking... by the actual fact that he doesnt have one... and readily admits to it... *shrugs* i dunnoe... hearing him say something like... i wont be suicidal... if i had the guts... i'd be dead by now... my heart shattered... by the very fact that someone... anyone... has to feel that way abt life... and yet... am unable to do anything abt it... but in a way... talking to him has made me appreciate my life so much more... love everyone in my life... u made it pretty... =) ----Stef stopped rambling at 11:20 --Link to Post |
|
just realised something...
pattaya trip aint as simple as me leaving on a flight to bangkok, drive to pattaya spend 3 weeks on the beaches there, drive back up to bangkok and take a flight back to sg... i'll be missing alot of stuff back in sg... just realised its from the 1st of dec till the 23rd... missing the prom is small thing... missing jie's wedding isnt... darn... her mom took care of me since i was a baby... and jie has been almost, if not more, than a sister to me... how could i miss the happiest day of her life? feel ultra bad... coz i remembered promising her tat day at ROM... that i wouldnt miss her wedding for the world... but now... i dunnoe... ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:21 --Link to Post |
| 20.9.03 |
|
i know this is abit lagged...
but i was really happy this week... coz he called me stef... he seldom does... calling pple by name... but he did... *melts* am a happy girl... i am... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:25 --Link to Post |
|
just came back from the meeting...
had most of the mistral squad there... and wh from the formulas... darn... andrew was there... some angmoh technical performance manager... andrew sanders, high performance manager... and of coz uncle edwin... freak lah... most of the meeting was abt how we should try to incorporate training into our study break... that commitment comes with buying ur own equipment... free-ing up the stuff for the newcomers... man... if i had to buy my own stuff... why dont i just go sail at PFSSC? where they sponsored us stuff??? and abit abt the trip to pattaya... darn... realised that i cant go for DnD... man! missing prom nite!?!?! yeah i guess... sacrifices for the sake of the sport... darn... coz DnD on the 9th... and wq's SAT on the 6th... abit crazy if she leaves on the 6th... and me on the 10th... DnD doesnt constitute a valid reason to miss out on an opportunity like this... so darn... will probably leave with all-male group on the 1st... but like YC will say... no difference... coz me also like guy... shuai one somemore... sad that i cant go for DnD... but i guess i'll just have to take it in my stride... thats what life is abt rite??? =P oh yeah... and andrew mentioned a trip to bombay as well... the Asian Sailing Championships.... piangz... say its a good opportunity coz prob all the big shot countries wont go... easier to get a better placing... and qualify for bigger comps... like the WC... or even bigger stuff like the games in 2005, 2006, 2008... or so i think... but my chances kinda low... one girl one guy... i wont make the cut... haiz... oh well... i'm still fighting... wish me best... ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:22 --Link to Post |
| 19.9.03 |
|
yada yada yada...
gawd... din do much work today... frankly... feel ultra guilty for spending the morning on yahoo pool... part of the afternoon chatting with someone i chanced upon online... i dunnoe... but alwaz found it amazing when i actually find someone i could talk to so well... i know it sounds a little crazy that i'm starting to go back online and start speaking to total strangers... but just did... was another gene today.. and he sounded alot like the eugene that flew off to the UK one week ago... even the things they talk abt... man.... it was amazingly familiar... keke... will call the gene in UK yujin... like edward calls him... and the 'new' gene, gene... remembered how yujin was telling me abt two of his favourite songs... abt how nice the lyrics were... he started singing bizarre love triangle by frente... and nobody knows by tony rich project... he was good... but gene... heard me listening to taoze... suddenly switched on his fei ji chang de 10:30... and started singing along... piangz... suddenly thought i was talking to tao ze! he was tat good... really... and he did another song... the one lala alwaz sing... outside chem lab once... 'in the arms... of an angel.... far away from here...' man... i just held on to my hp... frozen... totally... 'fei ji chang de 10:30' is officially my fav song on the CD... but did study lah today... abit oni... reached the lib at abt 4 plus 5... had my hazelnut cappacino... fries... and another hazelnut one before i left... met some of the ODACians... ying2 was wondering why i was studying there alone... i see nuthing wrong with studying alone lah... better to conc too... but also coz YC havent come... *pengz* he came with twig like 2-3 hours later... hehe... appreciate them dropping by lah... at least i've got some doubts cleared... borrowed YC's discman to listen to my new CD... michael buble.. hehhe... not bad... jazzy stuff... comfy voice... i went back to listening to tao ze though... back home... ate dinner with daddy at abt 10plus.. hehehe... so farnie... but he worked late lah... then coz i had fries... din mind waiting for him to eat together... =) i love my daddy.. ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:29 --Link to Post |
| 18.9.03 |
|
dunnoe whether i should be blogging this...
but cant help it... find it ultra farnie... got me laughing all the way back to my seat... new waiter at the library cafe... went to order my favourite... apple cheese crumble... with ice cream... yummy! but thats not the point... gave me two forks... and i was like... 'i only need one..' then he was like... 'then your boyfriend???' i really dot dot dot... -_-"' and the most amazing thing... he's new at the cafe... why would he... we suspect that the pple working there gossip alot... ... must a guy and gal hanging out together... studying... crapping... talking... be a couple??? never thot so... and shouldnt be so what... bleah... some of my best buds have been guys wad... hmm... maybe coz they easier to bully... hehhe... ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:58 --Link to Post |
|
chem pract today...
... ----Stef stopped rambling at 16:17 --Link to Post |
| 17.9.03 |
|
somehow...
was rumaging thru my saved email... the excerpt's from him... somehow... it just feels so correct... yet so wrong... am i supposed to wait for my old surf board? or doggy paddle till i come across a new one? ...for ur case, it's lik...er...k let mi give u a scenario...u r surfing far far out..in the middle of the ocean...den a big storm came..u lost ur board..& the storm continues..u r bout to drown..den u found a wooden plank...u grab on to the plank as tight as u can...den the storm faded away...u found another surf board...u abandon the plank and go to the new found board...all that left in u about the plank is nothing more than regrets and gratitude, for u noe u've nv loved the wooden plank. so be sure about ur feelings before committing to another relationship.. juz curious elf, i mean eff....if u r interested in someone, will u make the first move? to wat extend will u go to let him noe 'bout ur feelings? ever since my frend revealed her feelings directly to mi..i've been asking myself tis..surely it'll be alrite to tell the other person directly if there's a mutual liking....but if love is only one-sided..or at least u aint sure how the other party is feeling towards u..is it a good idea to be so bold afterall?? u might juz screwed up the frendship...kinda confused, coz i always believe in the direct way...maybe i should start holding bk my feelings a little...adopt a more cautious approach toward bgr. if u're wondering abt the eff and the pun on elf... well... we took away part of each others' names... and that was our nicknames for each other... mine was st-EFF... and i called him b-ENNY... weird... but oh well... the elf part... he kinda gloats abt himself being 14cm taller than me... knowing that i hate my height... for not being able to fly... so oh well.. ----Stef stopped rambling at 15:03 --Link to Post |
|
fren kinda said something on monday...
that made me rethink my current infatuation... man... issit just a crush??? or really like i said... just an infatuation... idolisation of some sorts... but... me liking tao ze...jay chou... yes... thats idolisation... but him??? gawd... i really dont know... i dont even know him well... but i just seem to have inexplicable feelings for him... even i cannot fathom... maybe it just isnt meant to be... *change of mode* quite farnie lah today... got summoned to the pE dept for the CCA records thingy... having some prbs... coz after all the competitions over the past years... i'm still clueless abt whether i was representing the state or not... heck... i called andrew and he said i was... coz got other country pple... so good lor... some points for me... like it matters??? who cares abt ur CCA record if ur studies rot right into the core??? oh well... at least its something i enjoy doing... heck the points man! mr chua was quite nice lah.. and a very easy-going person... =) chem paper? refer to yesterdae's entry... ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:13 --Link to Post |
| 16.9.03 |
|
have been corresponding quite frequently with benjamin...
not the one in our klass... nor the one in our first 3 mths klass... or ben shyen... our senior dr ben... or the sailing frats's 420 ben tan... the sports physio by the same name... or even the ben i keep talking abt in my entries... dun really know why the name ben just keeps popping up in my life... i think its just tat its a common name... no more... dont think it's how sensitive i am to the name ya??? or maybe i just am... for reasons, oni regular blog readers fathom... oh well... i guess... but back to ben... have to resort to reducing the nice-sounding 'ben' as a prefix only to their surname now... ben leng... i know it may sound weird... tat suddenly i'm corresponding with pple i never really knew... but i guess u just meet pple... click... and good for u... ben's has been pretty sweet so far... probably one of the few guys i know well who dont suan me like how a fish takes to water... am probably abit apprehensive though.. maybe i'm too caught up in books to really frolick in the warmth of a budding frenship... so time may just be the key... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:34 --Link to Post |
|
physics pract today...
totally sux again... man... i dun even think i need to blog abt my papers... they all fit into one description... sucky... bleah... came back... fell asleep on my food chem notes... i'd rather eat food than study them, thankew... yucks! really having prbs trying to rem how to draw the yucky stuff... but oh well... i'll have to try... and try to conjure up a miracle tmr... to pass my chem paper 3... if there's anything i'm pretty confident abt... it is that i'll crumble tmr... darn! ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:49 --Link to Post |
| 15.9.03 |
|
chou maths so difficult...
haiz... sad... coz i thot my maths still can make it... now really CMI... super demoralised... but i guess... thats what life is abt... must have setbacks... so that u can have comebacks... hehhe... read that on a sign outside lala's church... cool eh??? but its true lah... must have downs to make the ups all the more precious and valuable... oh ya... din blog this... but i change phone yesterdae... if gene's reads this... dui bu qi ah??? not that i wanna copy u... buy the m55... but its really a freaking good steal at 68 bucks for an upgrade w/o trade-in... heck nokia... man... who needs nokia? popular misconception... that nokia is the most user frenly and stuff like tat... but like gene psycho-ed me... its actually oni difficult switching from nokia to others... being too used to nokia... its kinda difficult to switch my habit... coz the confirmation button is now on the right... instead of left... space is no longer 0... but 1 instead.. punctuation is no longer 1 but 0 instead... word switching is no longer * but nokia's clear button instead... the clear button for siemens... is the options button for nokia... crazy... but it's a nice phone... at least i like it... rugged looking... bright... lightweight... a little laggy... but man... thanks eugene for psycho-ing me out of the 'i-must-buy-nokia' mindset.... yeay! ----Stef stopped rambling at 14:21 --Link to Post |
| 14.9.03 |
|
Dancing in the Moonlight
King Harvest We get it on most every night When that moon is big and bright It's a supernatural delight Everybody's dancing in the moonlight Everybody here is out of sight They don't bark and they don't bite They keep things loose, they keep it tight Everybody's dancing in the moonlight Dancing in the moonlight Everybody's feeling warm and bright It's such a fine and natural sight Everybody's dancing in the moonlight We like our fun and we never fight You can't dance and stay uptight It's a supernatural delight Everybody was dancing in the moonlight Dancing in the moonlight Everybody's feeling warm and bright It's such a fine and natural sight Everybody's dancing in the moonlight We get it on most every night And when that moon is big and bright It's a supernatural delight Everybody's dancing in the moonlight Dancing in the moonlight Everybody's feeling warm and bright It's such a fine and natural sight Everybody's dancing in the moonlight ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:26 --Link to Post |
|
cramps came 3 days late...
but luckily... one day from total disaster.. man... how to study?? writhing in pain like dat... will try my best... but cant conc... argh... ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:55 --Link to Post |
| 13.9.03 |
|
went for the adidas warehouse sale down at suntec today...
din get nuthing much... coz there were far too many pple... anyways i just dropped by to see if i could get some shoes... but ney... luck not on my side... din do much today... tried the AJ prelims 2002... and finished the HC paper 1 yesterdae... am trying hard... harder on chem and maths... than physics actually... dunnoe what i'm getting myself into... books suck... really.. but at least i have the chance to do this... was watching salmon do the run up the river thing... on animal planet... gawd... amazing creatures... wonderous how nature works in such an amazing cycle... life is beautiful... i guess thats something i have to keep in mind... havent been a good person... but i'll try to be one... to the best of my ability... hopefully i'll be given the chance... another shot at it... quarrelled with dad on thurs... kinda had a face-off thing... but he was really sweet... telling my mom.. on their way home from work... to tell his little girl that he missed her... i'm not little... but it made me cry... for being angry at him.... i love you dad... i really do... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:12 --Link to Post |
|
*me wonders how gene's doing in the UK rite now...
dun know if u'll read this... coz know u havent got ur internet acc... but seeing ur tag at the bottom of the page.. realised tat u must have some access... be it net cafe tat serves nice hot chocs... or otherwise... just hope u'll take care... know it aint easy being alone there.. esp in the beginning... heard of how this kinda thing is like... well... get urself hooked up... to the internet, that is... u'll feel closer to sg than ever before... coz i guess.. as cliche as it might sound... this is where home is... dun fret... rem ben relating to me his experience in adelaide... man... that guy was only 16 when his dad threw him there without winter clothes in winter... and he just spent 3 years taking his BBA like tat... admiration for him man... but i guess he must have had loads of cash with him... or else how to survive??? he was telling me that life there wasnt as good as pple imagined... and he could spend an entire day without opening his mouth... i think he tried... but his mouth stank after tat... *shrugs* but i guess that experience made him mature... could see the difference in the stories he told... abt him in sec sch... and him after his BBA... like i alwaz disturbed him... the motto of st andrew's school... 'where boys turn into men... ...men of grace and polish...' i alwaz said he lacked them... but i guess he did have them after all... ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:29 --Link to Post |
| 12.9.03 |
|
i think YC very poor thing...
pei wo du shu still must treat me coffee... but bo pian lah... we got bet that whoever reach later must treat coffee... so oh well... i got that coffee on legitimate grds k? if i used the word correctly... erm... finish the chem mcq book... doesnt seem tat much of an accomplishment... but am glad i did... will be chionging maths these couple of days... wish me best... die... i foresee that i'll get a bad bout of cramps on one of the exam days... bad feeling... if u see me writhing in pain... unable to complete my paper... dun worry... i'll live... =P ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:50 --Link to Post |
| 11.9.03 |
|
think its pretty crazy how my # of sms can fluctuate day to day...
received (equats to approximately sent...) more than 100 sms-es since 12midnite on tues when i cleared my mailbox till this morning when when i cleared it again... gawd... tats a whole lot of sms-es... considering i could end a day w/o sending or recieving any... save for one/two... but these couple of days have been especially crazy... refound silie... a friend of 6 years... ren shi while i was still keen on playing bball at the court downstairs... idiot msged me asking for roy's no. but i lost it with my phone the other time... kinda blurted tat i used to like him in the past... glad i dont anymore... its scary when u actually see pple grow up... or at least... the product of it... man... he WAS a picture of innocence... but i guess things change... and pple do too... made me rethink abt how i actually fall in love... how easily i do... and how blindly... edward... suddenly asking me to play pool... w/ no knowledge that i suck at REAL pool... though i kinda suck at yahoo pool as well... but that guy is just bored... and lost w/o his best bud... halfway across the globe... but heard gene called him today... and asked edward to thank me for the prezzie and ask me take care... am heartened... it made my day... wq was having an sms discussion with me... were thinking whether or not to go for gym tonite... coz that todd trainer was due to be present... at least to show face... and show sports council we're working hard... we are... cant deny... just not in the physical sense... man... can u imagine how he'll react seeing how fat we've become??? he'll flip... and made sure we're out of the squad... good to have a fren on the same side as ya... esp if u're doing bad things... cy's been msging me as well.. sms-ed me yesterdae to catch up... and i complained to him abt YC being super demoralising... being so ultra smart and all... with no reservation abt suaning me... he got kinda worried... and thot i was pretty stressed and all... said he'll call me tonite... am glad he did... think he'll keep me sane... man... why din all these pple appear on mon.... then i'd have saved myself the lousy mood i was in on mon... grr... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:44 --Link to Post |
|
=P
hate maths and chem... physics not included coz i havent started on it... ----Stef stopped rambling at 17:24 --Link to Post |
| 10.9.03 |
|
*headache*
think i play too much yahoo pool... eat too much fried snacks... think too much chem and maths... laugh too much and kena suaned too much... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:35 --Link to Post |
| 9.9.03 |
|
nuthing much happened today...
slept at like 3am.. was glad... ben found me on icQ... not b|az... the one with a dot dot... wasnt having a good day (mon)... but knowing he came online in the middle of the nite to look for me... made it all sweet again... =) went for lunch with bro... then went study at lib late afternoon... argh.. been spending lotsa money... and doing little study... should reflect on my study technique sia... am glad i spent time with my bro today lah... never knew we could crap so well together... regardless of how childish and mindless he (and maybe i) can be... i guess nuthing beats family... was studying at lib with YC... piangz... study with him not like studying lor... he just cant resist suan-ing me... i have no idea why... no eddy today... maybe he scared of me liaoz.. muahahaha... k k... i be conscientious student... play abit of pool... then chiong more chem mcQ... kanbate!!! ps. andrew wants us in gym this thurs... coz todd coming.. gawd... another show??? just coz some angmoh chief trainer coming we have to go and act act... so pretentious... but i guess thats what life's abt... all the world's a stage... and people just actors... pps. watched merlin today... was captivated... watching everything and relating all the names i thot i heard before... the wizard, Merlin... the sword, Excalibur... the Lord Lancelot... Queen Mab... King Arthur... Camelot... the Round Table... i was like wow... really.. it was amazing... ppps... day was made great by two small kids... held the door open for them... coz they were riding bike into the lift at my blk... smiling and thanking me repeatedly... saying a nice byebye... man... really... why cant adults be like them? i hold doors whenever i can... be it guy/ger/lady/man... but it isnt often that i get thanks... not that it matters... but when they smile and thank me... it really makes my day... not coz i get appreciation... but the fact that i might have made their day by keeping the door open for them... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:30 --Link to Post |
| 8.9.03 |
|
realised something...
that the standard of my english has dropped alot... hit rock bottom??? i dunnoe... might be coz i'm been blogging/chatting/crapping too much in colloquail language... see... i cant even spell the word properly... argh... aint helping my GP... sux... but mike made a comment the other day... compliment actually... that i could string sentences pretty well... u get that from an ex-RJC student... man... u float on air... but thing is... GP's not about floaty, fancy sentences... but abt getting urself and ur general knowledge of current affairs understood with clear, concise language... sadly... i have none of that... no myself... no generak knowledge... no currents affairs... no clear, concise language... argh... *shrugs* oh ya... gene's leaving tonite... edward just msg-ed saying that he passed the prezzie to gene liaoz... am glad... am glad... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:26 --Link to Post |
|
went sch today...
to study and pass something to edward... to pass gene... its quite cute actually.. to hear a guy call another guy his best fren.. first heard it with andrew and wearnhow... now edward and yujin... its like so mushy... not really something u expect from a guy... ended up with cass, hx and dean... heheh... crash their little study group... but i guess it was good to have a smiling face ard... esp with a =( activity like studying... went to sk library after tat... had eddy in the adj table... too bad YC going to play lan... couldnt join me... darn... that eddy must be so disappointed... but i wasnt staring at him thru out lah... coz wasnt facing him... saw a ultra shuai ge today... not the typical kinda shuai... but my defination of ultra shuai is the nakata-type... piangz... we were facing the same direction... him diagonally infront of me... couldnt see his face... but i kept staring into the window which had his reflection... man... he damn shuai lor... couldnt help it... kept staring... lucky he din catch me doing tat... or else so paiseh... know wad??? he got off at my station... man... was beside me at the train door... on the stairs... would have stalked him home unknowingly if i didnt have to top-up my card... argh... so din see which stairs he walked down... or wad direction he walked home... but man! thot he looked a little like ben... not tat ben's shuai though... ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:34 --Link to Post |
| 7.9.03 |
|
if there was something i am very afraid of...
its to forget what the pple ard me look like... i dunnoe why... but i think my memory often fails me... thats why i must keep photos... pictures... of people... of things that mean alot to me... i was in the car today... suddenly thot of gene and kinda cant put a face to him... i was like 'darn..' rushed home... was glad he sent me a pic before... of him in the nice white uniform... looked damn shuai lor... but it doesnt look like him in person... wad the heck... just glad i have that... but as i was at that PC... the one where i have all my sec sch stuff inside... i couldnt help but open the folder 'blaz'... for months or even maybe a year or so... i've stopped short of clicking on that folder... for fear of memories being forcefully dugged up... i opened it... yellowed photos of him as a drooling baby... my favourite picture of him as a little boy standing beside the kampong well... one of him sitting on the couch with a nice white shirt... another of him at the stern of the ship trying to look hunky and all... in that very folder were .mid files... piano pieces... of songs he made up... or putting it nicely... composed... when he was depressed/sad/stressed... one which he made up for me while i was at the big walk 2 years ago... he said it was something tat sounds like me skipping down nicole highway... in there were e-cards he sent to me... scans of postcards i sent to him... looking back... the heart swirls... wrenches, in fact... i wonder how is he rite now... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:34 --Link to Post |
|
darn...
wanted so much to blog yesterdae... but blogger was down... 3 things i really wanna put down here... 1. GP paper really jialat yesterdae... man... think i'm going to do badly again... think i wrote a little NAQ... and compre was a little difficult to comprehend... darn!!! i hate it... but wads done cannot be undone... hope for the best ya??? 2. went to dentist abt the pain liaoz... he cant see anything... but said he's quite sure its a wisdom tooth... ask me to bear with the pain for 3 more mths... eat 3 bags of med everyday and pray... maybe go to him in dec to take it out... but oh well... 3. hehhe... did a series of farewell sms for gene..... then he msged back... saying he'll call me... thinking i've got much more to say... i dun... hahha... think tat idiot is damn freaking busy lor... i wonder will i be as busy when i'm 23 annot... and he called me buddy in the sms... though i alwaz call him tat... he rarely does tat... or did he ever... but if that was to come out of our brief 3 mth frenship... i think it sufficed... ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:00 --Link to Post |
| 5.9.03 |
|
hahha...
friday today... pretty short day lah... went home... then went YC place to 'study'... with angel...alvin...merv... piangz... we ended up playing daidee/bridge and warcraft... and crapping the house down lor... dot dot dot.... me dropped by the library today... to finish up the mindmap notes.. then saw the vj guy me and yc saw yesterdae... muahahhaa... eddy... thats what his pencil case says... hehehe... k k... tmr first prelim paper... GP... wish me best... ciaoz. ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:39 --Link to Post |
| 4.9.03 |
|
think me damn jialat..
of the 3 kids in the house... i most prbmatic one... esp in health/physical wellbeing... have no idea why... but i'm very sure i got the records for the following... Most visits to the hospitals: for high fever when i was a small kid... for fish bone in throat in pri sch... for blardy small stem like thingy in throat... fractured toe... tailbone fracture... weird pain in left abdomen... Most visits to the bone setter: left ankle... right ankle... knee/hip prb which happened while i was asleep at nite... sprained finger... Most frequent visits to the doctor: fevers... flu... coughs... cramps... splinter in heel... exhaustion... man... i think i'm a living disaster... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:35 --Link to Post |
|
had PE today...
din score... but set two goals... so am pretty happie... but must commend lah... our team really not bad... though we lost 2-3... defenders power puff... u should see their special skill... ball rolling thru between their legs... damn good lor... then the ball alwaz roll out... then ball alwaz in our possession... hehehe... was falling asleep duirng chem lecture lor... was trying damn hard not to... but still did... sorry sorry... but my insomnia really got the better of me... argh... cant take/stand it... really kept yawning thru out the day... damn jialat... GP on sat... must pia must pia... so i ciaoz... =) ----Stef stopped rambling at 21:46 --Link to Post |
| 3.9.03 |
|
wednesday!!!
chem lect and all was fine lah... lessons was more or less monotonous... jialat leh... havent been studying enough... think me gonna die this prelim... will work extra hard tomorrow... probably finish organic chem by tmr... and start on some of the other chem topics... jiayou... met eugene after sch... man... changed car... no more chio windows with the presea... its a champagne lancer with the washing machine backside... tats wad i call it... think he likes it lah.. but oh well.. i prefer the presea anyway... spent alot of time on the road talking abt cars... corrollas... sunnys... and any other car we set our eyes on... edward joined us halfway... he was employed as gene's secretary lor... answering the guy's calls... smsing for him... remembering his appointments... damn farnie.. i was in the front seat trying hard not to laugh... maybe thats what good frenz are for lah... taking calls... *shrugs* but seriously... tat guy gets alot of calls lor... date him here... jio him there... maybe coz he leaving on monday... everyone wants a piece of him... muahaaha... but darn... he's leaving pretty soon... will miss the ultra comfy voice i first mistook as gay... the rather insightful and interesting conversations we had alot of... the crappy sms-es when we were ultra bored... but oh well... good things have to come to an end... wish him all the best in his future endeavours... =) so happie!!! i bot ultrasound today... gonna spend the whole nite listening to it... yippie! oh ya.. ran today... but din run the usual distance... was a little tired out... did a 10 mins plus jog... went as far as my legs could take me... no cute guy on route today... maybe one on the bike oni... darn... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:16 --Link to Post |
| 2.9.03 |
|
was at taka today...
dunnoe why like suddenly alot of stuff reminded me abt wf... i dunnoe... was stoned for awhile when i saw this bouquet of blue roses... just like the one on v-dae... and when i was at the various watch dealers... the range of g-shocks... was thinking how we ran ard trying to complete his collection... if there was one thing he would splurge on... its g-shocks... where we left off.... i think he was clamouring for the mudman... and of course... tako pachi... which wf introed to me...i introed to ben... its still my fav... though today's tasted a weirdly different... bleah... why am i reminesing again??? *bish* ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:51 --Link to Post |
|
tuesday!!!!
stupid eugene fang me aeroplane again... dunnoe why he have to chu hai... so meeting him tmr instead... him and edward... weird rite??? suddenly like know his fren like tat... dunnoe lah... so went out with merv and YC to buy water bottle... eat tako pachi... kena suaned by them full force... =( but still i had fun lah... now i know why serene willingly let us suan her from head to toe... somehow suan-ing gives you a qing qie gan... not that i feel qing qie with them... but... u feel a sense of camaderie lah... and with tat... i'm happie... another person know abt it liaoz.... no good no good... was my fault actually... but heck lah... will try my best to keep my actions in check ya??? and divert all my energy to being a good student... yeay! today passed kinda fast lah.... spent the first two periods with dennis... studying... then phy lab... then two tuts... finish liaoz... oh ya... still got the lousy phy timed paper 5... grr... not bad lah... at least still can do... though i had a huge prb with it... met dilun in the mrt... coz he going out with eh-hem-eh-hem... hehee... looks really different from the last time i met him lah... muahahaha.... NAQ... but oh well... he damn evil lor... joined forces with the rest to suan me... man! am i really tat nice to suan?!??!?!? even YXY also bu ke qi one lor... forgot wat he commented liaoz... but got me chasing him across the road to the mRT lor... grr... k k... me go play zoo liaoz... =P ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:16 --Link to Post |
| 1.9.03 |
|
went to pizza hut with my sibs for lunch today...
i had the beef lagsange... woohoo! my fav... yummy... ate until very full lah... thats why until now still havent eat dinner... muahaha... ran today... 15:46... much better than the 17 plus one week ago lah... am happy... yeay~ din do anything much today... haiz... i think the free-er the day... the more slack i am... grr.... its back to sch tomorrow!!! wish me best... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:00 --Link to Post |
| template and images ©
elementopia 2003 |