| 31.10.05 |
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saturday... relatively uneventful... save for the wee hour chat with Wil da man... debating about Xiaxue... and trying to smoke him that i read Freud... which i did... but dont understand anything of... finished up my 20 page essay... freaking glad... but there's still a presentation coming up... and of coz... major editing to be done.... before the deadline which is about 2 weeks away... not worried... but just sad that i'll probably get a B for this module... a grade that is really bad for USP... my 2 short essays which weighed 20% each got B+s... dunnoe whether or not to be glad... coz i saw Arts students with B-s... family picked me up for lao beijing... which was good... especially the peking duck and the dumplings... and except the popiah which cost us a freaking 30 bucks for a bowl of turnip... had a great time... dinners with them are never boring... they just crack me up so much... until my bro and i started debating whether the fluid in the xiao long bao is a juice or soup... then i really wanted to strangle him... sunday... woke up really late... had lunch then made my way down to ECP... okok... my dad sent me la... wind was pretty good... went for a few runs on the MOD.... before passing it to the guy... and borrowing Mr Tan's formula to try it out... my first time on a formula really... so freaking different... so scary... supposed to be easier to handle really... but it wasn't... i must be really bad... and i kinda tore a hole in his 7m sail... coz i put it on my head as i always do with my MOD... and it just went through... man... damn paiseh.. and damn scared la... i felt so bad about it... until he told me he bought that sail for 50 bucks.. very brittle... so he expected it.... he even managed to guess how i broke it... oh well... samuel chng was at the beach too... so happy to see him... he saw the guy on my sail... and thought for a moment that i was surfing topless... IN YOUR DREAMS... but Sam no more abs liaoz... how can i have a pretend bf with NO ABS!?!?! ("pretend bf": refer to Thailand 12.03...) we reckon that the army cookhouse has been feeding him well... but we're setting a dinner some day soon in NUS... apparently his camp is quite near... Guy and i was supposed to meet up with his pri sch friend visiting from Indonesia.. but friend wanted to watch a movie... so dinner was postponed i guess... for them at least... dropped by Peninsular Plaza to check out guitars for his club... then went to eat Carl's Jr... coz i had been having this terrible craving... a low carb Western Cheeseburger... yummilicious... love their Iced Tea too... think the guy has mastered the optimal amount of syrup to put inside the drink already... bought a packet of Onion Rings to go... which was cool really... they're not like the BK kind... where all of them are of the same size... and yes viv, some of them are like bangles... walked over to the Esplanade.. and being the cheapskate that i was... sat in at the outdoor performance area... which is like the best thing on earth... coz it is Free Of Charge... good music.... and FOC... did i already say FOC? there was this group performing... 4 people... all have great voices... 2 guitars... which are semi-acoustics.... according to the guy... but great songs... and they were very entertaining...  sunset at the Padang...  and i think the guy looks slightly gay with my bag... and no... he wasn't posing for the photo... he was trying to best express his impatience and "what-the-hell-are-you-doing?"... whenever i whip out my camera for shots... not that i am pro-blogger... must take photo of everything... but the sunset nice mah... though i cheated and saturated the photo so that you can see the colours... and it's nice to have photos to back up things you say sometimes...  the performance at the Esplanade... it was a good weekend.. though i felt utterly guilty about not working hard enough... as such... i will not post anymore accounts-of-the-day... friday was too cool to pass on... and sunday marked my first time on a formula board and putting my head THROUGH a sail like that... so i HAD to... bleah... ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:53 --Link to Post |
| 29.10.05 |
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was intially quite reluctant about making the journey to town... for SMU Sports Awards cum dinner reception... because we all know the opportunity cost of a free dinner is one hour of an ME module... although the entire thing... cab ride-dinner-awards-walk to selegie-dinner2-tau huay-walk to douby gaut-train to NUS.. took us a total of 5 hours... we also know that i need 5 hours of free time just to complete one hour worth of work... but that aside... it started off pretty late, really... justin had a lab that he couldnt finish early... so by the time he was done with it... getting changed and all made up... it was already 1815hrs... when the dinner was supposed to have started at 1800hrs... getting a cab in NUS at that time is seriously a pain in the ass... so linc was on one side of the road... while justin and i was on the other... which was seriously embarassing... coz we took Smart Casual abit too seriously... justin was in a black shirt with pants... and i was in my sis' nice skirt... so when justin's friend walked past us... he didnt see lincoln across the road... and thus proceeded to give Justin a wry smile... which caused him to go "oh shit!"... "he see me wear so nice... think i'm going out with you..." i'm like "HELLO!?" people is pageant runner-up okay? of course got better taste than THIS... *points to self* finally managed to get into a cab after some time... a ride which cost us 12 bucks... nicely done... to think i was so happy about free dinner... the nice uncle dropped us on the wrong side of the street... which had us jaywalking across like 6 lanes of rush-hour traffic... okay la.. it wasnt that bad... though i scolded a yellow beetle for turning out of CHIJMES when i finally deemed it safe... got slightly lost coz everything looks the same... though lincoln wouldnt let me admit we were... okay la... we weren't... but it's just a nice excuse to be late... finally found their school of accountancy... pondered for abit about how to get through their gantrys... of course.... we knew they didnt accept EZ-link cards... Melissa came to get us... which was so sweet of her... got up to the convention hall.... which is their equivalent of our LTs... except that SMU doesn't have lectures... probably seminar-styled classes like those of USP... seriously wanted to get down to eating... but their Sports Union's ex-prez seemed exasperated about us arriving so late... and us, probably missing his speech... though the NUS Sports Club was very much later... talk about a grand entrance... but Weili and Melissa were nice enough to stay outside with us... while we filled our tummies a little... causing the bunch of us to miss a little of the speech... the 'LT' was really small... sorry la... cannot get used to the term of Convention Hall for something that looks like an LT... and there were loads of empty seats... refer to above about late-comers... the front part was slightly slow... though it got cooler... and i dont mean the temperature... there was freestyle basketball... there were martial arts displays... TKD... kendo... fencing... muay thai... though the female muay thai contact sparring looked more like a catfight with gloves... i liked the videos presented though... very MTV-like... very professional... it was a very light-hearted event... i was constantly turning to Melissa and Lincoln... making jibes at everything i found funny... like the freestyler who looked like Jay Chou... who purposely included a segment with him removing his jersey while balancing the ball... he wanna show off his abs la! but i really enjoyed myself... which was weird la... was never a fan of such events... i guess it's the difference in culture... and i found that they have uber cool tables... like those in our LTs... except that they can rotate laterally... to suit your writing style... like WOW! after the event... we explored SMU a little more... okok... now we seriously got lost... i hope Linc and Justin doesn't read this... but they're really bad with directions... their underpass reminds me of a white elephant... because it's largely white... and we found a group of people participating in a Stand-a-thon... which was really cool... like they had to stand on one leg... and see who can last the longest... and with my wonderful sense of direction... we got out at their School of Economics... which is opposite Hotel Rendevous... BINGO! coz we were heading for Selegie... though it seriously would have helped if i known tau huay was so far on foot... it never felt so when my dad drives past... we kinda found ourselves deciding between Mr Bean and this cafe called BlendInn... the latter happens to be set up by one of The Guy's friends... decided on the latter... just for the sake of trying all things new... but we decided beforehand to adjourn for tau huay after this dinner #2... had a blended latte... Justin had fish and chips... Linc had fries and onion rings... called The Guy about being at the cafe... told us to mention his friend's name for a discount... but it was just so bu yao lian... like name-dropping... asked Linc to do it... and he scolded me... boohoohoo! so we didnt do it... it's beneath us! took the long walk over to the tau huay place... at least this time i didn't have to force anyone to bring me there... the walk didnt feel long... it was probably the good company... made Justin show us the most provocative poses he had ever done in his shoots... finally got the tau huay... which was heavenly... i downed a drink... and a large bowl of beancurd... the drink was by accident... miscommunication with the auntie... also because she very fierce... i scared to tell her i didnt order that... so by the end of the night... i was bursting with two drinks and a tau huay... talked more... about the comm... about the upcoming training camp... which was cool really... imagine being out with two of our most eligible bachelors... though feeling utterly uncomfortable in my sis' nice skirt... knowing that my butt looks fat... but not checking it out in the mirror to affirm that fact... took the walk to dhoby gaut... the name, i learnt at class today, has indian origins to it... woo... i learnt SOMETHING at class... took the train back to bouna vista... where we took our respective 200s and 95s... luckily all of us were heading back to school... the company was very appreciated... and the journey never felt this quick... who needs a more efficient public transport system when you have friends like these? there is this thing i have to blog about... but it's just so incriminating to the both of them that i really shouldnt... it was just so funny that i couldnt stop laughing... even when i saw scary black frog hopping across the footpath... i shall tahan and let it pass... just realised that i have never seriously been out with these guys... they stay in the East so they're not really in our after-surfing-grab-food-at-Suntec group... and i missed loads of outings last December... Christmas dinner... NYDC... which is such a total waste... because they are such jokers... even when there was silence... which was rare... it didnt feel uncomfortable at all... which is really hard to come by... laughing at one another... this was seriously what i needed to take my mind off the pile of notes on my desk... now it's full steam ahead with mugging/essaying! ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:28 --Link to Post |
| 28.10.05 |
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i seriously detest the way i keep nitpicking on the guy... the fact is... i know that he's like so great already... but i had to dig things to dislike about him... maybe it's my way of making me feel better about myself... which sucks... coz it's totally unfair to him... as much as i feel so... i cant help it... all i do is feel bad about my actions once i'm done with them... which is stupid really... sorry for the crap today... i was just feeling really freaked out by the idea that i was blacking out... scared that i might just faint in my room... and that i would rot and die without anyone knowing... (like real.) just wanted you to come by to tell me whats wrong... to tell me i'll be fine... and dish out your monologue on how i shouldnt 'anyhow anyhow'... ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:23 --Link to Post |
| 27.10.05 |
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been having loads of weird dreams of late... - people that i dont like eating my loaf of mouldy bread... which i just threw out this morning... coz i finally remembered it... - getting into the Air Force... being a kick-ass pilot... and having two (?!?!) security passes... watched Zorro last nite with the guy... after a good dinner of hong shao niu rou mian and xiao long baos at Ding Tai Fung... it was an enjoyable show... love the kid in it.... so adorable... love the occasional escapist flick.. just so good... ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:41 --Link to Post |
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psycho phil says that girls blogging about shit is plain weird... or at least that's what i think the *beep* is... so i shall blog about something else... the shit issue is over and done with... though i'm pretty sure the constipation will be back... till then... was just thinking... if there was one person in deep shit now... i meant that metaphorically... it has got to be Xiaxue... there... i did her a nice favour and contributed to her technorati rankings... but the thing is... she is probably the one person i wouldnt want to be right now... i wanted to be YXY coz he's smart... i wanted to be Oka coz he's probably the bestest and coolest windsurfer i've met... i wanted to be like... you know what i mean... xiaxue is probably like waist-deep in trouble... i reckoned i'd probably have to get the word "shit" out of my vocabulary else it stays in... for good! while she is famous, yes... i don't think that all publicity is good publicity... seriously... fame is okay... infamy is not... i vaguely remembered something that Quan Yifeng mentioned before... something that went along the lines of... "The smart celebreties get onto the covers of beauty/lifestyle magazines... (in a good way, of course)... The dumb ones get into gossip pages... and the bad ones, on the news... (you know, like wrecking their car or being charged in court...)" not the exact thing... but you get the idea... and Xiaxue is.... everywhere... which isn't a good thing... because where she is, really... is forums... in hate-sites... in her comment boxes... in other peoples' blogs.... like this... spaces on the internet... and like how my professor refuses to acknowledge web sources... coz they are just too many... too influential... and many are simply, crap... things get so distorted... that a once average girl... shot to fame, or infamy if you insist, just by having controversial postings about life and people... i'm not sounding entirely coherent... coz i'm stuffing tissue into my nose at the same time... but i seriously do not think Xiaxue is a bad person... she might have "Weird Facts" about her that probably add up to more than 5... like everyone else... really... everyone has ideals they keep to... principles that they are deep set on following... they might not be very correct... but hell.. it's all up to the individual... about her recent post on the toilets for the wheelchair-bound... i'm not saying that she was right... but i think that she is getting more flak than she deserves... she's only 1 year older than me la... i seriously wonder how she pulls through all these... i'll just end up crying every night... for this issue... i think she got started on the wrong foot... and it isn't that easy for her to salvage this bad bad situation... let's start with the parking lots for the wheelchair-bound... this is definitely a no-fight situation... coz they really do need the extra space to alight from their cars... and not having those lots would mean that they cant park and do whatever they want to... many times when i saw cars without the sticker parking in those lots... i really had an urge to nail their tires... but then i realised that if i did... they probably cant come out of their lot... and the real people who need that lot cant use them... so i tahan... i also hate it when people squeeze into the lifts at MRT stations... pretending nothing is freaking wrong when there is a wheelchair-bound individual waiting... or when there are people with children prams or things like that... i see it alot in the Sengkang Interchange... coz the lift is the fastest route from the LRT to the MRT... else it's 3 escalators away... i think it totally sucks when i see people do that... just goes to show how civic minded they actually ah... what were you doing during your Hao Gong Ming lessons?!?! actually i wanted to argue that the point about toilets for the wheelchair-bound is contestable... especially when the amount of time one takes to use a toilet is probably less than 2 mins... unless, of course, you are constipating... and the law of toilets states than constipating individuals shall not use the toilets that has a long snaking queue and only 2 cubicles, or toilets for the wheelchair-bound... but then i read this blog... who probably caused the loss of Xiaxue's two endorsements... then i was convinced about how the exclusivity of such toilets are so important to these people... once again reinforcing the point about how important multiple points of view are... such toilets need to be clean and dry... because the wheels come into contact with the floor... and wheelchair users have to use their hands on the wheels... so frequent usage of such toilets will cause them to become dirty and wet... we secretly know how we all love flicking water on the floor... and need repeated cleaning... thus making it even more inacessible to these people... then whats the point of having them in the first place... so there you have it.... Xiaxue is not right... but she's so young... so frank... so impulsive... give her a break... i would be very sad if i heard people laugh about me while reading my blog... i once saw guys who were really vocal about it in the NUS engin computer cluster... i'm sure she's having trouble dealing with all the anti-Xiaxue sentiment... and therefore screwing up even more of her ideas... so cut her some slack... afterall... who is providing the fodder for your daily entertainment? she is... just hopefully she'll see the err of her ways soon... her greatest punishment is not being able to go back to her life as normal anymore... having posted so many photos of herself... her online persona has probably taken over her real personality... so much so that it'll stick... especially in the minds of many... for some time to come... ----Stef stopped rambling at 14:31 --Link to Post |
| 26.10.05 |
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i hate feeling this dumb... been stuck on the same questions for the last 3 hours... this sucks... luckily it's wednesday already... ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:19 --Link to Post |
| 24.10.05 |
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i shitted a good shit today... which wouldnt have been possible if i didnt skip 2103 lecture at 10am... you know how it is... having a shitting feeling in the middle of the lecture... and you dont really want to leave the LT... coz it'll be so obvious you are going to shit... like people would care whether you are shitting or otherwise... but yeah! it was a good shit... so i'm a happy girl today! read abit in the library... sat away from cheewei and gang coz their table was full... so was alone in a table diagonally across... and after like 1 hour... i realised the people around 3m radius of me were all gone... NOBODY... and to think people say the library very crowded... they just dun like my smell... i told the guy about it... and yes... he said it's my smell... must be the shit... went to grab a bite with cheewei and changdun before lect... lect was okay... it's the last lect for 2143... i'm glad... though i know very little about the entire module... time to mug... hard... met the guy for dinner... had a McSpicy Double... and a strawberry sundae.... yummy... but jialat la... am so gonna put on weight... but oh well... i need all the energy i can get to work tonight.... planned to reach at least page 16 of my essay... or page 17... then leave it at that... until after the presentation where they'll probably make me change so much of it... that i would scream in resignation, "why did i ever start writing in the first place?!" wanted to test the guy today... not msg/call him and see how many days he would take to take the initiative and call... but oh well... he called to pass me my present from WQ... so we did dinner... lalaala.... not counted... found it really queer as well... that a friend would offer to wait with me at my bus stop for my bus to come... before going over to the other side to wait for his... despite him staying all the way over on the other side of the island... while my own boyfriend abandons me on his side of the road... leaving me to cross the scary road by myself... jolly well knowing that i am really scared of jaywalking... *pouts* update: but i am still happy la... freaking so... remember i once thought... i wanted so much to be with him it wouldnt matter if he were bad-assed... we all love bad guys... but the thing is... he isnt... even frank said The Guy is a good choice... having just recently met him... how to ask for more you tell me? ----Stef stopped rambling at 19:16 --Link to Post |
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it's late... and i have a 10am lecture... library date with cheewei... and a lecture from 4-6pm... then i'll have to keep my promise and study with YXY at nite because i forced him to... but i have to say this... when i was younger... not much younger... i read about this guy who constipated for two weeks... died because his intestines couldnt take it and there was some internal contamination... i never mentioned this... but i dont exactly have regular bowel movement... the guy says i must stipulate a time everyday for this scared activity... else the body cant get used to a routine... and start acting all erratic... so i can go for days on end without shitting... i dont have a record... coz it scares me to keep track... but i really feel full of shit right now... so when i tell you that i'm full of shit... now you know it's not just a metaphor... am praying the shit like totally comes out soon... eating vegetables like nobody's business... but i eat them a lot anyway... dont know whats wrong... downing milk every night... drinking fibregel... once only la... but hey! it used to work wonders! i've had little success... and 'little' is a pun... but still praying hard... coz much as life sucks in school... i'm enjoying every non-academic bit of it... so i dont wanna die young... i know the entry very gross... but hard to expect anything nice coming from a person who spent a good part of the night... on the freaking 20 page essay... solid 2 hours of solidworks... and abit of MSN of course... ----Stef stopped rambling at 03:23 --Link to Post |
| 23.10.05 |
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his birthday came and gone... wasn't a huge affair... i didn't do as much as i should or want to... 'coz i envisioned a bf's birthday to be much more exciting... but oh well... i think great things... but half the time i cant make them work... nevertheless... hope he had a happy day... actually when i knew he was meeting his buddies on friday night... i was thinking of hiding somewhere in his house... with a cake and present in tow... it freaked me out thinking how i would need to explain my ambitious plans to his parents... in mandarin, no less... but fate has it that he was planning to bring the friends home... to hang out... my plan practically hung... regardless... i still went to Borders to get him the first 5 Harry Potters... and a Neil Gaiman that looked interesting... 3 for 2 offer... no qualms about posting that fact here... 'coz he knows... trudged around... looking for a Tiramisu which hasnt been cut up into many pieces... knew Breadtalk has them... but the outlet at Wisma only had a big one... didnt want big ones... not many people at home... bought Polar chicken pies for my dinner... took a train to Novena... found a smaller Tiramisu at the Breadtalk at Novena Square... bought it... walked from Novena to his place... while eating my dinner... with six books and a birthday cake, no less! lucky when i got to his place... his parents wasn't in... so just explained myself to his domestic help... dashed into his room... put the books in chronological order... wrote a little Happy Birthday note... with his printing paper... knocked my head when i was coming out from under the table... where the paper was... changed the photo in his photo frame with pictures i just developed that afternoon... told Judy i was leaving... then made my way back to school... guy called when he got back around 11... he was surprised... but i dont know whether he likes the gift... though i know he enjoyed Potter... he didn't know about the cake... so i called him again at midnight... to wish him a Happy Birthday... and directed him to the fridge... met him in the afternoon today... his actual birthday... we planned to watch Sympathy for Lady Vengence... to complete our Chan Woon Park trilogy... we totally enjoyed Sympathy for Mr Vengence and Oldboy... so i really wanted to watch this before the crazy mugging starts... went to Tiong Bahru Plaza... but they werent showing it there... had lunch... before making our way to Cineleisure... got there... only to realise we missed the only screening before 7... took a bus down to Plaza Singapura... finally... it was a good movie... though he liked Oldboy too much to like Lady Vengence better... but i thought the incorporation of humour was interesting... and the idea of vengence was aptly explored... this trilogy SHOULD and MUST be studied by film students, no doubt... Chan is a genius... took a bus to Millenia Walk... walked around abit... bought Starburst gummies from Candy Empire... which has loads of candies you dont often see in sg... walked along and found a Godiva outlet... he offered to buy me $20 worth of chocs... and i told him it'll only get me a nice box and one piece of truffle... ate at Outback Steakhouse as he requested... food was okay... didnt try the Alice Springs Chicken though... really wanted the fresh veggies that came with the Chicken on the Barbie... guy got the Chicken Tenders... and we had bottomless Iced Lemon Teas... which we tried to make full use of by ordering a Bushman Shrooms AFTER the main... the mains were kinda small... so i found Billy Bombers more value-for-money.. the mushrooms were cool... but appetizers are really not for two... we got so full... and sick of mushrooms... we had to hide the last two in the sauce... he picked up the bill... feeling bad about the books... i kinda snatched his card away from him... but he sat down beside me and snatched both cards away... -_-" i'm gonna be smarter... i'll transfer the $ to him... and he'll be too lazy to transfer back... took a bus back to his place... to watch the Man U vs Tottenham match... guy fell asleep during the first half... and weirdly enough, i was the only one watching... bo pian... i find Park damn cute... dunnoe why he fall down so many times today... and poor linesman got kicked in the shins... bet he is not wearing shin guards... cut the cake from yesterdae... his dad asked why so small, why so sweet... paiseh sia... but i am poor student... and his son loves Tiramisu... at least this one had a stronger rum taste... and a white chocolate layer on top... not bad... i like... he sent me back thereafter... actually i feel bad getting him to send me back when my dad offered to pick me up... his dad's car consumes more fuel per km... but i really like the feeling of him being the one who drives me... just feels so good... hope you had a Happy Birthday... 'cause i enjoyed myself so... special thanks to... Wil who answered my questions about... whether A should hide in B's room for B to come back and surprise B for B's birthday... even when A doesn't really know B's friends who are coming back with B... Yijun, the girl, who brainstormed with me on what to do for his bday... whose lovely suggestions i didnt manage to put to work... Yijun, the guy, who helped me with places i can get the elusive Tiramisu... the one which hasn't been dissected into little pieces and sold at obscene prices with coffee... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:24 --Link to Post |
| 21.10.05 |
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actually... i'm glad that neither of us are the clubbing sort... i never stepped into clubs of any sort here in sg... which is superbly mountain-tortoisey... but i dont give a damn... and he detests giving away his money like that... for the entry... for the drinks... to the cab driver... but the reason why i'm truly glad is... he started moving to the music.... copying Wil Ferrell as a cheerleader in an episode of Saturday Night Live... with some major hip work... while i thought it was freaking funny and fell to the floor laughing... i seriously hoped that is not what it looks like when he goes clubbing with his friends... i would probably dive headfirst into his duvet.... never to emerge and face the world again... ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:03 --Link to Post |
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the Little Black Girl tagged me to post 5 weird and random facts about myself... i know i very the weird... and very the random... but i very scared i won't be funny... so... i shall not give myself the pressure of needing to be funny... like how philip finds me freaking hilarious... i do not know... (it might be the hair...) so here goes... 1. I make a serious effort to go up the NUS shuttle buses from the front door, except from PGP where the auntie say it's ok because no one is alighting. I tell Suli that it is my gesture of respect for the rules of this society when everyone just heck-cares. But in actual fact, i am just terrified of the embarassment should the bus uncle decide to close the door in my face while i am attempting to board from the rear door because I secretly laughed at those who experienced it. 2. I call my Dad, "dee" and my Mom, "mee" because they are short and sweet. I only meant the nicknames, my parents are sweet, but i don't think they are that short. I call my Dad whatever i want to sometimes and he never fails to respond. I call my brother, "-phenphen" and my sister, "-ceecee" because it's a reiteration of the second syllable of their names Stephen and Stacy. They once threatened to call me "-neenee" but i seriously think they forgot about it, which IS a good thing. 3. I used to hang my underwear under my bed with the hanger hooked onto the side of it, hiding in the little corner between the bed and the wall. It was probably the only place other than the wardrobe which is out of view of any visitors and the wardrobe was not a good place to hang wet stuff. The Guy used to laugh his head off at this when he discovered my secret hiding place, I was so distraught I almost screamed "It's my underwear! I'll do what i want with it!" Also because he makes me feel kia-si for locking my laptop with a cable lock, so that i can leave my room unlocked while i showered or cooked. 4. I love eating cha ye dan (tea leaf eggs) even though they cause massive flatulence and they stink up real bad. I can eat like 3 at a go and not get sick of it. We used to eat the ones that they sell outside the temple at Genting and my brother will fart in the cable car where we can't do anything, except scratch at the windows in an attempt to get fresh air. 5. I absolutely adore sticking my nose into his shoulders or chest and taking a good load of air in. He just smells so good all the time even without using any of those crap people spray to make themselves smell better. It is really amazing how he retains the fragrance of his shower foam like so long after his shower. I use the same stuff but i never smell so good. *pouts* But i have a slight problem positioning my nose properly and sometimes i simply dive right into his underarms. The smell is okay, though the sight is not. there you go... i'm WEIRD. so... will the following people tell me how weird you are too? xinyi... because i KNOW you are reading... weixian... because i THINK that you are reading... stella... because you NEVER blog anymore... lyna... because i'm NOT SURE if you are reading but i'm sure xinyi will tell you to... wanqi... because i know shuzhen's reading but i dont think she got blog, so IT'S YOU man! ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:27 --Link to Post |
| 20.10.05 |
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i am fine again! woohoo! so poor shaun had to put up with my nonsense during fluids lecture... i wonder how my blog will sound like if i wrote in full sentences, continuous prose.... let's try... i just like this format very much... 'coz it's like in point form... and it makes my reading very easy.... It was kind of expected that i would recover after last night. It was, after all, a Wednesday and everyone knows what Wednesdays are to me. I tried to finish up at least a couple of paragraphs of the dreadful essay, so that i can leave school without guilt. The essay sits nicely on the bottom of Page 9 right now, though i seriously need much more work before the weekend hits. I kind of want to enjoy this final weekend before the mad mugging for the exams. Dropped by the library last night to pick up a book from the holdshelf, it was the last day before they opened it up to another person. The book was huge, so i gave it a good flip to make sure I did not need anything from it before passing it back to the nice uncle at the Loans Desk. I hung around awhile prior to that, because my keen eye spied the EE tutor in the library too. Talking about tutors, probably only Suli knows about my crush on the Statics tutor last semester. Till now, she convinces me to go to Mechanics laboratory earlier than i usually would, just so i can spot him, because she did twice. This most coveted position has been taken by our 2143 tutor this semester. That slightly accented drawl of his, charming sense of humour and yeah, he made me understand how diodes can work as voltage clippers, personally. But, before anyone starts to regurgitate this evening's meal on their keyboard, hah, I'm only kidding. That is probably because I'm still having this major crush on the guy and with that, I meant, The Guy. He is probably the only motivation for me to take a 45 mins bus ride, a 10 min walk and a very nervous ring of the doorbell followed by a fearful, "Uncle! xie xie ni!" The Guy rocks, really. How else do you expect anyone to put up with my frequent spur-of-the-moment allegations, demanding why he doesn't buy me my chocolates or how come he doesn't call me before i call him? (I'd probably answer my own question then, "because i call him every 6 hrs?") It was a simple evening of The Late Show with David Letterman, Saturday Night Live, How I met your Mother and, of course, the indisposable Taiwanese varieties. The highlight of the night was probably the trip to his parents office though, because the smarty-pants left his handphone there. The other smarty-pants, a.k.a. yours truly, left his tutorial and CD-RW he passed to me to bring back home, in the office and realised it only when we got back. I didn't have dinner, but I ended up polishing off his dinner of dumplings. We ordered McDonald's later into the night and i had a good time trying to transform my $2.00 McChicken into a $3.60 McSpicy Double by dumping chilli sauce on it. I never knew McChickens were just $2.00, I reckon i would be doing more of such transformations to save that moo-lah for a short trip this holidays. Holidays. I am trying very hard to psycho myself to take a trip without The Guy this December. He is going on a trek with his friends, though he very endearingly asked if i could come along. I'm really trying to have my own life as much as possible, but it is really hard when I enjoy his company so much. Truly. I'm gunning for a Thailand trip pretty much, Diana seems keen and she has friends there. YUMMY! so much for a entry with proper structure... i'm pooped... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:03 --Link to Post |
| 19.10.05 |
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am pretty out of sorts these couple of days... poor suli... poor guy... people who had to bear the brunt of it... this bout of depression is taking longer than usual to get out of... and it sucks... maybe it's just everything combined... the thought of the exams.... of not knowing anything about my modules... of not doing anything fantastic for his birthday... PMS... urgh. i need some serious motivation... therefore i suscribed to Cheewei's Chao-Mugger Library Club.... and forced YXY to promise to study with me... now... i'm very fearful of offending him... else he uses his favourite... "That's it! You are studying alone!" i'm starting earlier than i did last sem... please dont let me fail 2121, 2134, 2143... and hopefully i can do better in 2103, 2203, 2113... yes, please... go and buy your 4-D... see! blogging always makes me feel better... ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:29 --Link to Post |
| 18.10.05 |
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i shall reward myself with a blog post... i'm not just dependent on him... i'm dependent on my blog too... just read diana's blog entry that was posted almost a month back... in it she was wondering how we seem so near and yet so far... not in a bad way really... just that we're not really the kind who would shop together or hang out a lot with one another... outside PGP especially... seriously... we've never been out together... but that doesnt stop us from indulging in our long chats in one another's rooms... or all the crappy shit on MSN... or printing stuff and passing to one another through our windows... we used to stay beside one another... she's at the other end of the cluster now... but i still cant resist knocking on her door... hiding... and then jumping out to give her a scare... because her reaction never fails to amuse me... she was saying something about being surprised that i blabbered about having changed... since "loo times"... i did... really... probably because she was one of the few who kept me sane while i was madly infatuated... we're not close as in friends-for-years kinda close... but she's there when i need her... and i hope i'm here when she needs me too... if that made sense... i'm not sure if i blogged about having changed since "loo times"... the term is coined by diana... i freaking rolled on the floor laughing... but the thing is... i did... maybe not as a whole... because i'm very much the same person... just in front of him i guess... so it gets scary when we're out with people... coz i have the tendency to start whining to him when he's around... and we all know that only shu nus have the license to whine... anyone else and the people around will start puking... i dont know if it applies to any girl who is attached... but he makes me feel very girly... i probably took to wearing skirts more often than before... i was probably more independent before... yujin is right la... but i just wanted to make it sound like he's not my world... when he actually is... and i feel like a blardy money plant who has to cling to something to grow tall... i seriously hate being so dependent... so i am trying to change... coz the thing is... i feel as if i'm leeching so much onto him... he's like having to stand tall for the both of us... and as if he doesnt have his own problems to think about... i want very much to be able to support him should he crumble... though i dont see much chance that it would happen... still i want to be able to be-there-for-him... if you know what i mean... that reminds me of an episode of Whose Line is it Anyway? damn funny... coz 3 of them were supposed to carry out a lengthy conversation using only cliches like that... i.e. "that would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, if you know what i mean..." "and we'll be digging our own graves, if you know what i mean..." on and on... damn funny... i love that show... okok... i'm not funny... but that shouldnt stop you from watching the show! ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:15 --Link to Post |
| 17.10.05 |
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i told myself i could write a blog entry when i finished my Sensors tutorial... but very hard leh... i dunnoe how to do the last two questions... actually when i can do... means very easy.... so the tutorial not very the hard la.... (just that i cant find the last two questions' sample solution in the notes...=X) am feeling the crunch... and starting to crumble again... called the guy... but i didnt whine about the stress... just the perpetually runny nose... and it kinda took the yuckiness away... he's da bomb... my remedy to anything! save when i'm angry with him though... went to the beach today... wind was strong... rain was heavy... so couldnt rent stuff to go out... funny how i didnt mind not enjoying the wind on my MOD.... maybe i'm not that much of a windchaser anymore... i guess i never was... kinda scared of strong winds... am weak... 4 recre guys were down... plus wilson, lu and justin... some of us made our way to suntec for abit of makan after that... got my Yami yoghurt... (AGAIN?!?!!) yeah... then watched Goal!... felt guilty though... but couldnt help it... show was not bad... but i just kept crying... i hate it when fatherly characters die... oops! spoiler! but it's just a very scary idea... i love my dad too much... when i was younger... he used to bring the possibility up whenever i misbehave... i would just start crying immediately... actually i'm even tearing when i type this... my tear ducts are mad... i cry at the most minute reasons.... frankly... i hope i'll never have to experience permanent loss... but i guess there's only one way for that to happen... ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:35 --Link to Post |
| 15.10.05 |
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received an sms just now... "What do you want for dinner? I special delivery lah" WAH. all the way from thomson to NUS... and the car's not home.. i very touched... even though you were super happy when i say no need... coz i am joining my family for dinner... now i know i'm not the only crazy one in this relationship... crazy about you. ----Stef stopped rambling at 18:41 --Link to Post |
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was reading a seniors blog... he just got into uni this year... and mentioned something about his friends and himself finding the yr1 girls bossy... whenever they have projects to do together... then it hit me... so... MAYBE, just maybe, thats why cheewei and yaozong kept, "yes boss!"-ing me... though in a light-hearted way... like whenever we have lab reports to do together... thing is... am i bossy? being at the helm of the windsurf committee as well... man... i think it's just worse... but the thing is... i dont mean to be bossy... i just want to get things done... thats all... i'm open to new ideas... ways to do things... but if nothings comes out... i'll contribute... i can be super un-involved in projects and stuff... just ask my classmates for the india module... coz things are going fine with their direction... and i'm okay to just do the stuff they set out... but i am not bossy leh... or at least, i try not to be... maybe when it so happens that when i know how to do certain things... i get really excited and start directing... so it's not exactly bossiness per se... was kinda speechless when i read that blog really... coz i guess it just dawned on me... am going to like hunt down cheewei... "AM I REALLY THAT BOSSY TO YOU!?" but it's hard la... that chao mugger skips classes to go library and mug... the only time i see him is during Solidworks tut... which is like once a fortnight... a pity really... coz he's fun to be with... tag me.. and say i'm not bossy. ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:58 --Link to Post |
| 14.10.05 |
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another post about him... even i'm accused of needing him more than loving him... oh well... can i love and therefore need?  i made him buy me these after his lecture today... which was really mean... coz he could have just jumped onto his SBS bus all the way home... i whined and complained about not having my coffee-flavoured chocolates... and sent him a hostile sms, "very disappointed." when he didn't reply... i was about to call him to scold him... when he picked up the phone and said, "buying chocolates la!" at least i dont ask for Godiva ok? Meiji only... cheap cheap! but it was a terrible ordeal for him... trying to get onto the NUS shuttle buses at 6pm when everyone is trying to rush home... he probably took 50 mins just to get the chocs and get to PGP... feel really, really bad... coz it was really ridiculous of me... and such things you only see on hindsight... so... i'm sorry. so that's was why i wanted to be super nice to him... and bring him to a nice place for his bday next week... while i was thinking all romantic and ambience... it also hit me that guys like him... dont care much about ambience... or romance... they just wanna eat and be done with it... so my secret surprise that i was planning... i decided not to go ahead with it... it was a weekday lunch at Flutes at the Fort... weekday coz i can only afford their set lunches...  where i wanted to take him for lunch... this Google Earth screenshot was part of my surprise plans.... oh well.. so i asked him to make his own choices... i thought that was what guys would like... girls like surprises... guys just wanna eat... listed a few romantic places... - Cozy Bay coz i love the bridge there... - Da Paolo's coz he loves the lamb they served during vday dinner... - Brewerkz coz we still havent tried their burgers... - Hard Rock Cafe coz 77th Street members got discount... but the guy wants Outback... see... i told you guys just wanna eat...  you're my SuperMario... even though your name not Mario... and you dont like mushrooms... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:20 --Link to Post |
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YES. i admit i am needy... but i think that's different from saying that our relationship is based on a NEED... on my side... because it really isn't... or at least, that is what i would like to think... thing is... i don't see anything wrong in meeting up for lunch if both of us are in the very same school... or just hanging out doing our own studying or homework... i AM needy in the sense that i keep suggesting these lunches/hanging-out ever so often... even when his dad has begun to think we very nothing-better-to-do... he is more than him to me... he is like 70% buddy and 30% boyfriend... weird sounding... but really... if we had beer, you can call us beer buddies... but no... boyfriend/girlfriend is, but, a name... at this stage we're still sniffing each other out... ya know? for the big picture... then if i say i love him... like so contradicting to "70% buddy"... it's sounds really, really warped... but some people might get what i'm trying to put across... basically... it's not NEED... if it were... i wouldn't have to wait all those years for him to appear... one can never be picky about needs... that aside... it has been days of Rotten Onions, meetings and get-suaned-by-your-engin'mates.... 1. found a bag of rotten onions in my food drawer... only did coz a weird smell was wafting out of it when i opened it... cant bear to throw away the yummy stuff i have it in... so have been airing the drawer and the bag of cans/cereal boxes/oreos/instant noodles/coffee... hopefully i wont get stomachache from eating any of those... after the discovery of bag-of-Rotten-Onions... i was haunted by the smell even when i was in faraway Orchard Road... "do i smell of rotten onions to you?" 2. SC Marketing/Treasury and Windsurfing Committee meeting... hiaks... bad... but the latter was cool... coz we had the bday cake for the october babies... and it was a yummy Bananas about Chocolate from RoomforDessert... Weiming and i went fongseng for dinner after that... and we bought Hagen daaz tub from 7-11 and brought it to kunshan's room to eat... good stuff... but utterly sinful... 3. and suan-ed by my labmates...ex-classmates...people-i-sit-with-at-lectures... it's a madhouse... they can even join forces! maybe stranger was right when he said, "your labmate ah? *point to labmate* i pity you..." back to work. for now. ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:04 --Link to Post |
| 12.10.05 |
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his dad thinks we're very eng... say how come Uni need 4 years... when got so little classes... i think it's because i go look him up ever so often... but the thing is... we're not eng... i'm not... he's not... for me... it's coz meeting him is like Sleep to me... it rejuvenates me... too much of it is sinful... but too little of it is draining... just so happens that the optimal amount of Sleep is 8hrs a day... I just need the 'Sleep' to be at least once in 2 days... and i'll be content... ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:33 --Link to Post |
| 10.10.05 |
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i told him i have been feeling things about our relationship that i never felt before... things i cant put a finger to... and it scares me... after the weekend... i think it was just that i'm loving him more... every single day. ----Stef stopped rambling at 15:33 --Link to Post |
| 8.10.05 |
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had a minor breakdown last nite... minor coz it happens ever so often... so i reckoned it was probably time to take a break from work and responsibility... though i had to finish up on the necessary emails and correspondence with the SC... did abit of reading... only because the book my prof recommended was quite an interesting one on Indian film... though it totally doesnt help in my 6000 word essay... and didnt go down to the beach... also because no one else seemed to be going... i realised otherwise the next afternoon... when the 4, 5 of them were calling me non-stop to ask about each others' whereabouts... getting me to send them numbers coz everyone didnt save the comm's numbers... but i realised this makes windsurfing seem like a liability to me .. when i'm supposed to be enjoying it... which is queer, really... when the very reason i'm at the helm of this committee is because i love the sport... i do... no doubt about that... it's been 7 years and counting... but feeling a sense of being tied down by it all... a sense of responsibility i cant shake... was talking to the guy about it last nite... in fact... i just snapped at him... and started questioning everything in the whole wide world... including us... which is my bad really... i guess it's just PMS acting up... but he made an accurate diagnosis once again... i'm expecting too much from my committee... bringing me to think about what Stella told me about the Science Fac-Club prez... who said that he "...is happy that these people even come, coz they are not obliged to." that applies here too i guess... i fantasized about great things, one too many... and i guess it all came crashing down when i realised it's not as easy as i thought... i know it's not right to conclude something like that now... when we have just started out... coz we CAN achieve great things together... i guess i just learnt not to expect things to go my way all the time... and act surprised when they do... it's just hard for me to act all indignant and fight for our sub-club's rights in front of the SC... then come back to find the things i said invalid... i do a lot of write-ups for our comm... so i paint every single thing in a pretty light... and sometimes... i feel like i'm dishonest... i can mislead.. but i dont lie... so i end up in a difficult situation... like i told the guy... i can work hard... really really hard... applies only to non-academic stuff... like mindlessly... but i need to feed off people energy... i need to have people working with me... in the same direction with the same goals... i felt that in Talentime '03... in Orientation '03... and that was what made Council so special to me... i felt that in NUS Championships '05... though it was different being an organizer and a competitor at the same time... i cant pinpoint what makes me feel this way all the time... i left my first job ever... crying... coz i guess business and money bring out the worst in people... and it was especially scary when i have begun to look to my boss as a friend, a mentor... teaching at MJ was emotional as well... not just me... but the rest of us who were doing relief there... i guess we put too much into what we do... being fresh from school and all... not like the rest of the teachers... who have probably hardened over the years... i cant remember whether i cried while at milk or not... but work was tough indeed... boss was french... a perfectionist? i think i broke down on the first few days.. when finding that dreaded fruit was so darn difficult... but i walked away from each job getting good feedback about the work i do... so do i, or do i not put so much into things i do? people say i'll do well in the world out there... with regards to my work attitude... although i'll like to believe that because it feeds my ego to the max... i quietly suspect i'm far from there... unless i can detach emotion from everything else... till then... my family and the guy have to put up with my occasional, yet oh-so-frequent outbursts... and kleenex will still get a lot of business from me... by the way... The Myth was so cheesy that the guy and i debated Newtonian laws during the movie... "Weightlessness without traction is dangerous. You might just end up floating for eternity and become fossilized." at first i was impressed... coz no one told me that before... and i had never thought of it... but we thought about it more... Newton 1st Law states that Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. our point was... if air resistance was what made them stop moving while flying/floating from place to place... air = fluid... so they can always 'swim' out of their predicament... and not just disintegrate in mid-air over like 100 years... little maggots can also float to you, you know? what about in space... space is a vacuum... so there is no air resistance... space garbage simply orbit round and round without ever stopping... ...unless an external force is applied to it. (actually the above is crap that i just thought of so that i will win my argument with him... but if it were all true... i wonder whether the people behind The Myth know their physics... or that they just wanted to make that prof sound pro... coz really... this deviation from science wasnt very crucial to the story... so no point faking it...) other than the cheesiness... imagine korean princess breaking her hair pin and plucking out her long hair... just to sew Chan's wound up... and the trying-too-hard-to-appeal-to-the-Western-audience... the movie was entertaining... at least it drew the laughs... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:53 --Link to Post |
| 7.10.05 |
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funny how 327 words can just pop out like that... when i am seriously having problems with my 6000 word essay... The NUS Windsurfing Sub-Club consists of three groups to cater to windsurfing enthusiasts of all levels; a main organizing committee, a recreational group and a competitive racing team. The main committee consists of 16 dedicated individuals who organize various activities and events all year round for the NUS student population. With this, we hope to promote windsurfing, both as a leisure activity and a competitive sport, targeted at individuals who take interest in water sports. Our annual activities include the December Training Camp, NUS Windsurfing Championships and the Freshmen Orientation Camp. For individuals who just want to surf leisurely during the weekends to de-stress, we also have the recreational group which meets regularly at PA East Coast Sea Sports Club to windsurf together. Windsurfing together has its advantages; as we can look out for one another while at sea and also exchange pointers on how to windsurf better. Recreational sessions are presently held every Sunday in the afternoon. In addition to that, we also organize Level 1 courses and introductory sessions to introduce the sport to more people, information of these can be found at our website. More proficient windsurfers can even join us when our competitive training starts after the exams are over, beginning with the December Training Camp. This group will concentrate on racing techniques and skills, bringing together the technical and tactical aspects of racing. For these sessions, we are in talks of engaging an ex-national coach who will help us train up for the series of competitions in February ’06 and these include the NTU Open, the NUS Windsurfing Championships and the Inter-Tertiary Windsurfing Competition. With such a wide variety of activities, the NUS Windsurfing Sub-Club hopes to reach out to windsurfers of all levels, bringing them together in their area of interest and thus making our years in NUS a more rewarding and enriching one. We hope that you, too, will join us in enjoying the sun, the sand and the sea! sounds good? JOIN US! ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:10 --Link to Post |
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was talking to a friend... Smoking came up as a topic... i remembered how my good friend back in sec school smoked... but how she avoided smoking in front of me coz she knew i detested it... i dont actually... maybe it stemmed from the fact that i have always associated smoking with all the bads... including my granny's bad temper when she used to smoke... now we take her vulgarities with a pinch of salt... she uses them in a quirky, spirited sort of way... but i've seen how it ruins your health... how my granny seems so much weaker than my grandpa who is a few years her senior... i just cant take it when people hold no regard for people around them... second-hand smoke... litterbugs... sometimes i mention, "oh! *so-and-so* smokes.." with much disdain... my bad, i admit... and he tells me how common it really is... maybe it just pains me to see people i care for doing it... coz every puff takes them away... i liked him before i ever found out whether he smoked... but luckily he doesnt... not sure if i would accept it if he does... coz he means too much to me... for me to feel nothing if i see him hurting himself like that... he once considered getting a shisha for his room... and i told him very frankly that i wasnt too comfortable with that idea... (even though it was HIS room, afterall...) so he did not... that simple decision kinda affirms what kind of guy he was... and what place i had in his heart... i'm not against smoking... i had better not be... his two best friends do... i have friends who do... it's just how i feel about the whole thing... who knows... 5 years down the road i might just start puffing... though i highly doubt it... it's hard to say about these sort of things... especially when society makes it out to be oh-so-common... because in actual fact... it is.. and i heard people stay slim with smoking... oh well... it's my life... and yours is yours, afterall... ----Stef stopped rambling at 10:16 --Link to Post |
just realised that he always looks happier taking photos with other girls... with girl...  with me..  with another girl...  with me.. have i made my point well enough? eh... really so miserable ah? i'll promise to blog less of you la... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:16 --Link to Post |
| 5.10.05 |
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i think this 'I am that girl/guy...' thing is such a hit now... i'll probably look like a wannabe doing it myself... but while in buses/cars... where i love to look out of the window and think... i just thought about us... and that the 'Ayam that girl...' (term from kenny sia) will make a nice confession... so here goes... i've read countless great ones... so mine will pale in comparision... but it's from the heart... and i guess thats all that matters... I am that girl. I am that girl you met for the first time, seated two seats away during the windsurf comm interview. She tried to make small talk, realising that you were, too, staying in PGP, but she found the guy between us cuter. I am that girl who grew to realise that you are probably the cutest ever. I am that girl who didn't know what got into her when she invited you over for dinner. For grilled dory and pasta, where you downed an entire pack of watery and unappetising instant pasta and dory just so she wouldn't feel bad. I am that girl who still doesn't know how to cook. I am that girl who keeps her MSN on all the time, checking and re-checking ever so often, for a flashing bar with your screen name on it. The one who sees you signing on, yet not messaging you, just hoping that you would take the initiative to message me instead. I am that girl who couldn't study during reading week because you weren't in school nor online. I am that girl who debated with you about whether airplanes dispose of their waste water just by discharging them while in the air. Where you said the air was cold enough to freeze everything into naught, including brown coloured solids that probably smell bad too. I am that girl who ran to her room and googled for the facts, just so that she can call you and say, "I told you so." I am that girl who told her friends all about her little crush, endlessly. Pointing you out to them discreetly and smirking silently when they tell her, "He's quite a cool guy", even when she didn't have you. I am that girl who, presently, tries to keep that in check. I am that girl who whined continously about wanting to watch The Incredibles, just so that you would take the hint and ask me out. Even though it was the exam period. Who offered to show you ding tai fung at Paragon, just so she has a reason to ask you out again. I am that girl who still loves xiao long bao. I am that girl who was so dejected that you didn't offer to send her home on our 2nd and 3rd dates, concluding that we were too much of buddies for you to do so. Even blogging that she accepts that you didn't feel the same and decided to stop daydreaming. I am that girl who still enjoys rides home now. I am that girl who sat beside you on the bumboat ride along the Singapore River, who thought of a lame question to ask you about One Fullerton, so that i could lean closer and ask you a question over the sound of breaking water. The girl who stopped short of giving you the common hug at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, because she didn't know what you felt about her. I am that girl who wondered when would you ever feel the same for me. I am that girl you treated so much like a buddy. Or even a younger brother/sister, a sibling that you never had. So much so it pained her to treat you like one back, even when she liked you so. I am that girl who found it so weird that we were together that we didn't hold hands till our 2nd date after getting together. I am that girl whom you asked about her crush relentlessly, cutting person after person that she was worried you would find out it was you. You gave up after awhile, she thought you realised it was you and was devasted that you didn't make any further moves. The girl who got sick of guessing and decided to clear everything up once and for all. I am that girl who is glad she did, because you said you felt the same. I am that girl you held from behind at the Esplanade rooftop, where you bared your heart, letting her into the very private life you have. Making the date one of the most meaningful ones to her and finally feeling like a part of you. I am that girl who simply loves the Esplanade now. I am that girl whom you tried so hard to replace her harness for, finally giving up and making an Incredibles jigsaw and taking her to Da Paolo's for Valentine's. I am that girl who only bought champagne and strawberries for you on that day itself. I am that girl with whom you kept a secret with, from the rest of the committee, just so working together wouldn't be so awkward. Pretending that we didn't care to much for each other and even staggering our arrival times just so no one would suspect. I am that girl who is your Chairperson now, but calls you for your opinion in all that she does. I am that girl whom you called almost everyday while you were in Yunnan, just because she missed you so. The girl who thought about you every second you were gone, whose heart skipped a beat when she spotted your funny walk down the Arrival Hall. I am that girl who would call you about the most minute things, just to hear your voice. I am that girl who said, "Sure or not? Your eyes got stamp." when people tell her you are good-looking, but smiles secretly in her heart. Who felt doubtful when people say we look compatible, because she felt inferior to you, your brains and your character. I am that girl who is now looking at you lying on your bed with your singlet above your tummy, screeching along with your winamp. I am that girl who calls you on your mobile all the time, to tell you about the most insignificant things. Once, even when it was 2am and she only realised it when it started ringing. I am that girl who forgets what she wanted to tell you when you finally answered the phone. I am that girl who sat down at the playground with you, playing dumb finger guessing games, even though it was past midnight. I am that girl who can finally stay out past midnight, because her parents know she's with you. I am that girl who pouts/whines/cries at the smallest issues, kicking up a terrible fuss when you didn't do things her way. The girl who gets angry with you, then realising she is a dumbass and apologising minutes later. I am that girl who is thankful none of that came back to haunt me, because you just take it all in your stride. I am that girl who loves your quilt and contemplated kidnapping it, together with its owner just so she would feel warm at night. I am that girl who uses your name in front of my parents liberally, because they probably trust you more than they would trust me. I am that girl who would steal looks at you while we are supposed to be studying, wondering if it were but a dream. I am that girl whose hand finds yours, just to make sure it is not. I am that girl. ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:40 --Link to Post |
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my neighbour who takes the same civilisation module was prescribed anti-depressants... so i guess thats reason enough to justify my presence here... though i have a mountain of work... plans to watch the corpse bride... and a couple of assessments in the coming few days... it also justifies the amount of time i spend blog surfing... and more unabashedly specific... sex blogs... especially after all the attention (kind or otherwise) they have been getting in recent times... of course... i'm allowed to make all the denials i want... that i visit those blogs not to read about, well, sex... coz it's still a taboo of a topic on my blog... but REALLY... i was curious about how liberal singaporean females can be today... especially on such a topic... and frankly... it's making me feel like a mountain tortoise... in every sense of the term... old... slow... outdated... watever. i'm not going into a long debate about how wrong it all seems... 'coz thats probably done and too well-done... i was trying to pun there... done well... and well-done as in steak, long time? ok... bad attempt... just wanted to say that i still marvel at how open they are about it all... no names... no pictures... but sg is like how small? i walk around NUS also see his friends in every corner... but that is not the point... the point is... are they doing it just coz someone else is doing it? getting all the blogders... and they, too, want a share of the Pie of Infamy? but oh well... they only thrive because of people like myself... voyeurs who cant survive without "peeping at half-naked guys cooking in the next block"... ----Stef stopped rambling at 16:00 --Link to Post |
| 4.10.05 |
 the unseen tutorial... a blardy nervewrecking 30 mins... reminded me of my CS1101C days... see the circular thing in the middle... it is not centralised... to think i thot the program smart enough to do it for me... but a lot of funny things sticking out all over the place... hiaks! ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:55 --Link to Post |
| 3.10.05 |
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accomplished a number of non-school things this weekend... am a happy girl... but feeling utterly guilty coz i didnt touch work AT ALL... save for an attempt at op-amps while waiting for the guy at Starbucks... over a terribly good Mocha frap... soooooOOoo chocolatey! went to the dentist... rid the terrible coffee stains on my teeth... coffee is bad for you! traded in my terrible E700A... for a miserable 100 bucks... paid my ass off for a new E530C... and a student's plan... so that i'll get free incoming to irritate the guy with when i'm bored in PGP... now i have two freaking lines... and another clam phone from my bro... so thats two freaking clam phones... a wonderfully sinful but enjoyable dinner at swensens with the family... new outlet at compass point... fish and chips... baked rice(s)... pasta... fries... sundaes... and of coz... the amazing apple crumble... *drools* it was great coz we were all just reaching into each others' plates... and sundaes... been ages since i last ate out with them like that... actually not really... maybe just a couple weeks back... minus the dinners at home... (i'm a very family person...) and i love my family lots... caught some good wind with a number of people from NUS... not bad really... we had like almost 15 people out... one dutch... one swedish... lots of singaporeans... wahaha... 'twas good... had fun... both at sea and on land... and the girls saved me my favourite toilet to bathe in... (maybe coz the shower curtain had one huge tear...) caught Stomp! with the guy... really good seats... like at the circle... but in the third row... and the row in front of us were empty... coz they were $110 seats... the only ones left unsold... and we only paid 50 for them... the perks of being a student... man... me saying that it was fantabulously amazing is an UNDERstatement... just really, really good... thing i love abt percussion performances is that they have a lot of interaction with the audience... the only other one was a free performance at the foyer of the Esplanade... but the great thing about Stomp! was the interesting personalities the performers took on... there was the ultra cool soloist... the breakdancer... the signature Loser... the 'gentle' giant... the jock... and two ultra cool ladies... so you can imagine the Loser being bullied throughout... utterly entertaining... lotsa laughter... until you can hear toddlers giggling out of nowhere... and the performers react to that as well... so very spontaneous... just wat i love in performances... they got the audience clapping to the beat at times... and up on their feet moving during the finale... thats one way of getting your audience to give you a standing ovation... but i very willingly did! the instruments used were very ordinary... and you would have never thought they sounded so great... plastic bags... tubings... sticks... brooms... dustbins... water basins... dustbin covers... matchstick boxes... lighters... metal parts... sand... and the thing-you-use-to-unclog-your-sink... so-very-ordinary... but they sound so amazing when you give them rhythm... i would seriously recommend people to go catch it... but guess what? we caught the last show... now... it's back to the real world... 20page term paper? lab reports? tutorials? bring it on. ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:52 --Link to Post |
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