| 18.10.05 |
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i shall reward myself with a blog post... i'm not just dependent on him... i'm dependent on my blog too... just read diana's blog entry that was posted almost a month back... in it she was wondering how we seem so near and yet so far... not in a bad way really... just that we're not really the kind who would shop together or hang out a lot with one another... outside PGP especially... seriously... we've never been out together... but that doesnt stop us from indulging in our long chats in one another's rooms... or all the crappy shit on MSN... or printing stuff and passing to one another through our windows... we used to stay beside one another... she's at the other end of the cluster now... but i still cant resist knocking on her door... hiding... and then jumping out to give her a scare... because her reaction never fails to amuse me... she was saying something about being surprised that i blabbered about having changed... since "loo times"... i did... really... probably because she was one of the few who kept me sane while i was madly infatuated... we're not close as in friends-for-years kinda close... but she's there when i need her... and i hope i'm here when she needs me too... if that made sense... i'm not sure if i blogged about having changed since "loo times"... the term is coined by diana... i freaking rolled on the floor laughing... but the thing is... i did... maybe not as a whole... because i'm very much the same person... just in front of him i guess... so it gets scary when we're out with people... coz i have the tendency to start whining to him when he's around... and we all know that only shu nus have the license to whine... anyone else and the people around will start puking... i dont know if it applies to any girl who is attached... but he makes me feel very girly... i probably took to wearing skirts more often than before... i was probably more independent before... yujin is right la... but i just wanted to make it sound like he's not my world... when he actually is... and i feel like a blardy money plant who has to cling to something to grow tall... i seriously hate being so dependent... so i am trying to change... coz the thing is... i feel as if i'm leeching so much onto him... he's like having to stand tall for the both of us... and as if he doesnt have his own problems to think about... i want very much to be able to support him should he crumble... though i dont see much chance that it would happen... still i want to be able to be-there-for-him... if you know what i mean... that reminds me of an episode of Whose Line is it Anyway? damn funny... coz 3 of them were supposed to carry out a lengthy conversation using only cliches like that... i.e. "that would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, if you know what i mean..." "and we'll be digging our own graves, if you know what i mean..." on and on... damn funny... i love that show... okok... i'm not funny... but that shouldnt stop you from watching the show! ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:15 --Link to Post |
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