| 5.10.05 |
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i think this 'I am that girl/guy...' thing is such a hit now... i'll probably look like a wannabe doing it myself... but while in buses/cars... where i love to look out of the window and think... i just thought about us... and that the 'Ayam that girl...' (term from kenny sia) will make a nice confession... so here goes... i've read countless great ones... so mine will pale in comparision... but it's from the heart... and i guess thats all that matters... I am that girl. I am that girl you met for the first time, seated two seats away during the windsurf comm interview. She tried to make small talk, realising that you were, too, staying in PGP, but she found the guy between us cuter. I am that girl who grew to realise that you are probably the cutest ever. I am that girl who didn't know what got into her when she invited you over for dinner. For grilled dory and pasta, where you downed an entire pack of watery and unappetising instant pasta and dory just so she wouldn't feel bad. I am that girl who still doesn't know how to cook. I am that girl who keeps her MSN on all the time, checking and re-checking ever so often, for a flashing bar with your screen name on it. The one who sees you signing on, yet not messaging you, just hoping that you would take the initiative to message me instead. I am that girl who couldn't study during reading week because you weren't in school nor online. I am that girl who debated with you about whether airplanes dispose of their waste water just by discharging them while in the air. Where you said the air was cold enough to freeze everything into naught, including brown coloured solids that probably smell bad too. I am that girl who ran to her room and googled for the facts, just so that she can call you and say, "I told you so." I am that girl who told her friends all about her little crush, endlessly. Pointing you out to them discreetly and smirking silently when they tell her, "He's quite a cool guy", even when she didn't have you. I am that girl who, presently, tries to keep that in check. I am that girl who whined continously about wanting to watch The Incredibles, just so that you would take the hint and ask me out. Even though it was the exam period. Who offered to show you ding tai fung at Paragon, just so she has a reason to ask you out again. I am that girl who still loves xiao long bao. I am that girl who was so dejected that you didn't offer to send her home on our 2nd and 3rd dates, concluding that we were too much of buddies for you to do so. Even blogging that she accepts that you didn't feel the same and decided to stop daydreaming. I am that girl who still enjoys rides home now. I am that girl who sat beside you on the bumboat ride along the Singapore River, who thought of a lame question to ask you about One Fullerton, so that i could lean closer and ask you a question over the sound of breaking water. The girl who stopped short of giving you the common hug at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, because she didn't know what you felt about her. I am that girl who wondered when would you ever feel the same for me. I am that girl you treated so much like a buddy. Or even a younger brother/sister, a sibling that you never had. So much so it pained her to treat you like one back, even when she liked you so. I am that girl who found it so weird that we were together that we didn't hold hands till our 2nd date after getting together. I am that girl whom you asked about her crush relentlessly, cutting person after person that she was worried you would find out it was you. You gave up after awhile, she thought you realised it was you and was devasted that you didn't make any further moves. The girl who got sick of guessing and decided to clear everything up once and for all. I am that girl who is glad she did, because you said you felt the same. I am that girl you held from behind at the Esplanade rooftop, where you bared your heart, letting her into the very private life you have. Making the date one of the most meaningful ones to her and finally feeling like a part of you. I am that girl who simply loves the Esplanade now. I am that girl whom you tried so hard to replace her harness for, finally giving up and making an Incredibles jigsaw and taking her to Da Paolo's for Valentine's. I am that girl who only bought champagne and strawberries for you on that day itself. I am that girl with whom you kept a secret with, from the rest of the committee, just so working together wouldn't be so awkward. Pretending that we didn't care to much for each other and even staggering our arrival times just so no one would suspect. I am that girl who is your Chairperson now, but calls you for your opinion in all that she does. I am that girl whom you called almost everyday while you were in Yunnan, just because she missed you so. The girl who thought about you every second you were gone, whose heart skipped a beat when she spotted your funny walk down the Arrival Hall. I am that girl who would call you about the most minute things, just to hear your voice. I am that girl who said, "Sure or not? Your eyes got stamp." when people tell her you are good-looking, but smiles secretly in her heart. Who felt doubtful when people say we look compatible, because she felt inferior to you, your brains and your character. I am that girl who is now looking at you lying on your bed with your singlet above your tummy, screeching along with your winamp. I am that girl who calls you on your mobile all the time, to tell you about the most insignificant things. Once, even when it was 2am and she only realised it when it started ringing. I am that girl who forgets what she wanted to tell you when you finally answered the phone. I am that girl who sat down at the playground with you, playing dumb finger guessing games, even though it was past midnight. I am that girl who can finally stay out past midnight, because her parents know she's with you. I am that girl who pouts/whines/cries at the smallest issues, kicking up a terrible fuss when you didn't do things her way. The girl who gets angry with you, then realising she is a dumbass and apologising minutes later. I am that girl who is thankful none of that came back to haunt me, because you just take it all in your stride. I am that girl who loves your quilt and contemplated kidnapping it, together with its owner just so she would feel warm at night. I am that girl who uses your name in front of my parents liberally, because they probably trust you more than they would trust me. I am that girl who would steal looks at you while we are supposed to be studying, wondering if it were but a dream. I am that girl whose hand finds yours, just to make sure it is not. I am that girl. ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:40 --Link to Post |
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