| 4.2.07 |
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Saturday's entry was made during one very emotional morning... we spent a good part of Friday night talking... and it didnt quite close properly... all the way till Saturday afternoon... i gave him a hug just before we stepped into PA... coz that few hours of coldness was really killing me... it wasnt the coldness to be exact... but the fact that the guy was doing everything silently and ungrudgingly... insisting on sending me back when i wanted to go back myself... sending me home to let me grab my surf stuff... waiting for me while i took my time... like being great while i continued my childish tantrum... very unnerving. it was amazing to windsurf together... and i have to admit, he IS faster than me... though i must blame the equipment... the beach wasnt as crowded as usual... i guess the IN thing now is to haul your asses over to JB for some speed action... i never understood the trouble and effort these speed junkies go to for their fix... but i guess i have to experience it myself before i discount it... though i must say, i'm quite the scaredy cat when it comes to high winds... i couldnt help but look out for him constantly... i just needed to know he's okay... although i also know he's a big boy now... okay... that is officially gross. the thing is... i truly enjoy the fact that my significant other loves the sport as much as i do... sometimes even more... though he better love me more coz i got him all his cheap lobangs from my shifu... but it makes things much easier and less complicated... we just have to do everything together... the subconscious want to maintain status quo is worrisome really... sometimes i dont know what i want... and whether my feelings for him is simply a mechanism to fend off my ultimate nemesis... solitude. other times i feel so much for him that i know there is nothing else for me... that we truly deserved one another and not anyone else... maybe i shouldnt mull over these insignificant issues... and focus on how happy we are together... and that is all that should matter... really. i love you. and that doesnt change even if everything else in the world does. ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:06 --Link to Post |
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