| 23.11.06 |
 i'm afraid of losing him... but i dont quite know whether i am afraid of LOSING him or losing HIM... not sure if there is a clear distinction between the two... i guess the former is about losing that all-important person who shares your life with you... while the latter is centered about the fact that it is him... i'd say both.... even though i think the more ideal answer would be the latter... i'd say both because i'm so used to being linked with someone... i'd say both because he is that someone... sometimes i like to think about how it would be without him... i like to prepare myself for the worst... foresight... it's scary... but i know i am older and can take it better... i'll probably tear at the sight of xiao long baos, subways, windsurfing... or think of him when i watch How I met your mother, The Office, Everybody loves Raymond... when i happen to watch pool, tennis or even soccer... coz he was the one who painstakingly explained every single game rule to me... there wont be anybody to act as my walking dictionary... playing "Whats the capital of what country?" or "Who is the minister of whatever?" on busrides home or walks to his place... but it's not all that bad... i think i can still be happy... and be happy that he's happy... even if that equation doesnt include me... ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:34 --Link to Post |
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