| 31.3.06 |
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i dont know what to make out of a 5 person turn-up at the meeting... i could count the number of people on my left hand alone... i dont get the part about people feeling like they have nothing to contribute... thus not feeling like coming.. it wasnt an excuse provided... but probably a sentiment felt... the only reason why it would be so is because they are not doing their stuff in the first place.. i was okay for the ride back to PGP... until i walked myself to the canteen for a packed dinner... i started tearing together with the thought of an sms i wont explain... "ok fine. i am sorry alright?" i hate fines and whatevers because they are just so non-chalant... so uncaring... so f-off, i-dont-care-what-you-think.... and the thought of running a camp with 5 organizers during the camp itself is madness... the date of meeting was set 4 mths ago in Dec... i dont get it... hell-week yes... me too... Justin too... everyone too... i'm in engin for goodness sake. i crumbled at the unanswered calls... the lame excuses... the clever changing of topics when i asked about why they couldnt make it... i would have thought NUS students to, at least, be more responsible... when the bulk of them are older than me and whatever not... i am not a good leader... but i tried my best... it is not easy to motivate a group you dont even see or hear from... i even forgot how one of them looked like... as i wiped my tears away... looking forward to the playful banter of the economical rice uncle... who always charges me, "two hundred dollars....................minus two zeros!" i bumped into Vivien who asked me earlier about dinner with her and Shixin... i was glad about not having to eat dinner out of a styrofoam box... and also... she was one of the bestest confidantes i could ever have in NUS... we bitched happily... about committee members and laboratory etiquettes... and people being un-nice and evil... it was calming to say the least... but very welcomed indeed... i walked back to my room with Shixin... locked myself in the room... wondering whether or not i should spend the time on an email with the minutes of the meeting... coz my secretary was MIA as well... and was thinking how many sets of minutes were read anyway? there was so many things to discuss.... it was the 4th and last meeting before the exams... i totally didnt get it... we have had an amazing sign up... but we dont have the committee to show for it... been offered help from other people though... not the boyfriend though... even though i asked for it... - John asked if there was anything if he could help me with.... publicity in EH or marketing or anything... but i couldnt let him... he was already spending his last week in Singapore at the camp supporting us... how could i expect more of him? - Eric saw me buried under faxed quotations and catering problems... offered to help negotiate with the company his dad is working in... we spent some time outside the LT... with him on the phone in Hokkien... me frantically pressing on my Casio scientific... and many calls and sms-es the night before... to try churn out a good quotation for the meeting scheduled... the meeting which had only 5 attendees... - Weeleong helped by listing a few things i might have missed out myself... and telling me about $30 van rentals... even though he didnt have the contact... it was good to know it was possible... very disillusioned by people already... even though it made me see the friends i had in some of them... i would have thought undergraduates to be responsible and mature adults... i think i am wrong... so very wrong... i sat in the little corner where i set up my laptop on my rug... where the big cushion used to be... i hugged my knees and continued from where i stopped during my walk to the canteen... ----Stef stopped rambling at 03:11 --Link to Post |
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