| 23.1.06 |
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you know the kind of boyfriend who practically puts his girlfriend on a pedestral to worship? i want... okay... maybe not a pedestral... but picture on MSN... picture as HP wallpaper... lovey dovey MSN nickname... all i dont have... somehow... i dont know whether to be sad or not... coz it can SOMETIME be rather goosebump-inducing... *Should you need an definition of goosebump-inducing, click THIS. the guy doesnt do all that... he rather have a calendar on his HP... and a picture of coconut trees or a soccer ball as his MSN display picture... i know feeling this way sucks... and is on the verge of picking-at-things-to-be-upset-about.. but i cant help but feel that he is ashamed about being with me... maybe "ashamed" is too strong a word... it's not much of a deal really... but it just feels sucky when the guys i know are like scrambling about to choose the best picture of them and their girlfriends and plastering them on every known surface on earth... exaggeration again... on the showy places.. MSN... HP... Friendster... laptop wallpaper... the guy was adamant when i asked him about it... he didnt see a need to... so i told him i wanted him to... then he said he didnt want to... so i asked again why he didnt want to... then he went back again to he didnt want to... which felt like what a stuttering child would say to the parent when lying through his teeth... its like stamping CONFIRMED in red on my suspicions that he wasnt exactly keen about letting the rest of the world know about my very existence in his life... we see each other's friends sometimes... so its not exactly true either... coz he still holds my hand when we bump into friends... but the feeling is stinging and its hard to go away... we got into quite a spat over this... it came to a point when he said putting photos like that just wasnt him... wasnt something he would do... though i remember him putting it up when we first got together... how queer... i was pretty upset really... until i realised... why am i picking on all these insignificant details when his hand is still holding mine? maybe when he stops holding my hand when we go out... i shall finally start questioning why... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:43 --Link to Post |
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