| 18.6.05 |
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** i think we might have settled accomodation for the 6+ days in taiwan! coz we've been whimpering abt the super high costs of the hotels... even a lao-pok one would cost 70+ a night... good money that we can spend on more worthy stuff like food and clothes... staying with his relatives doesnt sound very nice... especially since i'm just a girlfriend... gu1 nan2 gua2 nu3 like that... not very nice in front of relatives... regardless of how liberal we have all made ourselves to be... plus the paiseh factor... thing is... we might just live in one of his uncle's houses... apparently the uncle is living some other where... and the house is empty... down side is that it's a 5buck train ride away from the city... it hasnt got a lot of things in it... probably wont be as convenient and well stocked as a hotel... but i think we'll survive... especially since his uncle has a private hot spring in that house! can u freaking believe that??? (yes you, my amazing reader... especially amazing since this is a special edition entry... your presence here is testament of your loyalty....) lalaa.... to think i was sulking that i wont get to visit the hot springs... considering he wasnt too keen of leaving Taipei itself... oooo... happy happy happy... 5 more weeks to Taipei! woohoo! just that i'm getting cold feet about visiting his extended family... which is HUGE by the way... the last couple of days werent too good for us... and it's largely my fault... i truly wonder why i can never see that it's my fault during the course of it all... and only when i convinced myself to step back... do i finally realise how unreasonable and freaking idiotic i was... somehow i feel as if i'm slowly bringing myself back to the days with wf... where i'll kick up fusses over nuthing... and we quarrel a lot... but i guess that experience is a lesson to be learnt... though i might not have digested the moral yet... i really hope i would do soon... every bit of this is hurting us... i keep saying i treasure US so much... but i keep doing things to hurt it... it's really quite psychotic... and it's killing me... like i told him the other day... i hate the way i feel vulnerable with him... coz it would be child's play for him to hurt me... just by saying a long goodbye... even the thot of the possibility hurts like someone's reached in and grabbed ur heart... i love him... much as my actions don't show it... i really do... ----Stef stopped rambling at 02:53 --Link to Post |
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