| 19.4.05 |
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dont think i ever addressed the move-house issue on this blog... on the surface it seems rather superficial... immature maybe... and considering the extent of pervasion of the internet... moving is almost equal to not moving... contemplating another move being discovered by Mr. counter-stalker... thing is... i too find it unfair when i'm reading into other peoples' lives... making conclusions and judgements... sometimes involuntarily making them... and i avoid giving them that benefit too... the enjoyment of reading into my mundane life... and deriving perversed pleasure from realising the beauty in theirs... that why, in the past, when i leave tags... i leave my blog addy as well... not as a form of advertising my blog... but an act of courtesy... a "hey! i've been reading your blog...here's mine if you want to take revenge..." contrary to popular belief... bloggers are not exhibitionists... okok... thats too general... xiaxue *oops* probably is... i am not... wahhaa... i can imagine my 'stalkers' shaking their head in disapproval... but bloggers are actually a bunch of truly insecure individuals... okok... just ME... who have an emotional dependence on putting their life in words... for me it serves as a reason for me to look back on my day(s)... reflect... and in turn, keep it in my memory or throw it aside... happy things i write for future use... jolting myself into pretty memories that are lost when i start cramming for exams... am a stauch believer of the theory that brain memory is limited... to abt 2GB... and that things get overwritten all the time... so i have to study the same things over and over again... and bad stuff i write to help me get over it... providing an outlet for my frustration... anger... violent tendencies... and the works... blogging is freaking important to me... readership was never in the equation. the boyfriend is a private person... and was uncomfortable with the mentions he had been getting in my blog... despite remaining anonymous... it's probably not his cuppa... and it was something i have to respect... regardless of how it should be my call, the fate of my 2 year old blog... he respected that too... told me it was fine to keep it... and that he would get used to it... but for a relationship there has to be compromises... and there is no such compromise where only one side steps back... i have to meet him halfway... reducing my readership by changing addresses... not announcing it to anyone? and declining when asked for it? not very effective a method to privatise something... but at least it kept the non-psychos out... i'm saying you are a psycho, Mr. counter-stalker... that reminds me... i should take out my tag board so that i can continue pretending no one's reading... i didnt violate any agreement between us... coz there wasnt one to begin with... and dont think i would move again... you can run but you cant hide... so i'm staying put here... unless i discover that i am truly an exhibitionist at heart... and succumb to the temptations of moving back to my old addy... where many linked me... and i'll probably have viewership like xiaxue's.... where my one year's worth of vistors is equal to her one day's... i cleverly choped the addy with a pseudo blog... wahaha... so i left myself that option... and we agreed that it was an option if i really couldnt take it... a valid possibility... he once questioned my blogging, before we got together... that if i really din want the viewership... why do i still blog... why not just keep a journal? i din know how to answer him... i was speechless... i told him it was a convenient way of documenting what i wanted to... everything is dated nicely and organized prettily... all at a push of a button... push-button-publishing... keyword: publishing... it is an issue i still grapple with... please tell me i'm no exhibitionist... ----Stef stopped rambling at 15:42 --Link to Post |
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