| 19.3.05 |
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having a bout of depression... pretty weird actually... out of nowhere... all of a sudden... just feel like crying... for no reason at all... maybe it just dawned on me that the exams are approaching... and i am screwed coz of my non-existent preparations... out of my 5 mods... i dont have any that i can safely say to be confident in... unlike last sem... when i actually felt confident writing about landscapes... or crapping through cinema-related theses... this sem is crap... really... havent been putting enough effort in work... and regretting it all at the end of it... sucks... to the very core... sometimes i dont know why i walk right into this trap... when i jolly well know how this all is gonna turn out... i have 2 projects due in 2 weeks... and i havent got much started... we know how projects can only be effectively done at the eleventh hour... argh... we dont seem to be heading in the right track... and i really cant imagine how terrible everything will turn out... nursing a bout of insecurity as well... everything now seems so transient... as pretty as it could be... it just seems so possible that everything might start slipping away... trying hard to cope with this myself... but i dont seem to be doing very well... i might be simply putting too much thought in things that dont deserve my time... but i cant help it can i? i cant help what i feel... i'm supposed to be happy... OVER-THE-MOON happy... but it swings pretty badly... and i dont know why... maybe it's because SUPER Happy Days make Gloomy Days SUPER gloomy... ...and he thought i was low-maintenance... ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:58 --Link to Post |
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