| 1.12.04 |
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time is really running short for me...
leaving for thailand on friday morning... so that effectively leaves me with a miserable two days to find the stuff i need to bring over to survive 3 freaking weeks in northern thailand... its not that i'm not looking forward to the trip... but after fighting (with the books/notes) for so long.... for a well deserved break.... i'm rushing for another reason now... would appreciate a couple of days just lazing ard... doing the usual teen stuff... movies...shop...coffee... but no... spent the day today moving out of my PGP cell... dinner with YEPpers and prof teo... who is so great a prof i dont know where to start telling you abt him... will leave that for later... tomorrow have to go check out... buy an ethnic costume coz i cant fit into my sis'... pack stuff.... go anne's 21st b-day chalet... get enough sleep... pack somemore... get stuff i dont have... and will need... things i so wanna do but am sure i have NO TIME for... meet up with frens from 01... mahjong...coffee....our crappy outings...watever! i just miss you guys so much... i wanna go windsurf... adrian has been blogging so much abt the wind... and i'm like... gawd... i SO wanna go feel the wind... dont even have time to get the pulleys from zhang... darn it... i wanna watch shutter and saw.... both of which will be over by the time i come back.... but at least i caught the incredibles... woohoo! i wanna meet my TKG bball pals... been so long since i last met up with them... darn... stupid serene never calls me anymore... has she forgotten abt this poor lonely pal of hers... i betcha she did... haiz... i'm just so insignificant... *fades into oblivion* i wanna just stay on MSN and crap all nite with other crazy pple... like crapping online at 5am... and getting nicknames like 'zhu tou'... or giving pple nicknames like 'wu gui ji dan gao'... (*blogger assures readers that the names i choose are usually more creative... *just that it was kinda late at 5am in the morning... *forgive her... *her fren had trouble trying to chase her to bed...) or watch movies all day long on VCDs or -eh hem- more VCDs... i really wanna go shopping... retail therapy... the exams have really been a depressing period... so bad that i din feel happy after the last paper... i know this sounds really crazy... as in... almost overboard or something... to a near psychotic extent... but another reason i want more time in SG is HIM... coz i think i'll miss the lame stuff we share sometimes... like even when he doesnt come online for a couple of days... i'll be like, "darn....why isnt HE here?" and wait... and ponder... like i mentioned... we're not that close... no phone calls... no romantic dates... but even so... he has become very much part of my life... involuntarily, i may add... i whine/mope/complain to HIM... one of the main reasons why i'm online so darn long and ALL THE FREAKING TIME... is coz i yearn to see him online too... and that he would msg me... everytime i leave my lappie on while in the shower... i would come back hoping that the task bar will flash orange... and the nick flashing would be his... not that i'm not looking forward to my other frens' msges... but i so wanna hear from him... even though we speak of the most insignificant things... like i mentioned in the previous blog... it's pretty obvious rite now that he doesnt feel the same way i do... even though i scruntinise every sign of a possibility... none seem to stand... but much as i would want to take myself out of it... he would make me laugh again... and that, trust me, is enough for me to fall head over heels once again... its gonna be 3 weeks w/o seeing or hearing him... that is like so long... way too long... 3 days is already eternity.... 3 weeks is eternity multipy seven... go figure... and i dont have a decent reason to call him from thousand of miles away... "allo... eh... this is abt work... can you do blah blah blah?" no... i cant... sometimes i think... what if i sms him THE NOT-SO-SECRET SECRET on friday morning... throw my phone away... and give him 3 weeks to react.. and allow me to pretend i forgot what i said 3 weeks later... might lose that fren i so treasure... better not... i'm a scaredy cat, rem? darn... when would i stop falling in love with pple who wont ever like me? and when would i stop blogging abt him? it's driving me nutz... wad should u conclude when you see your neighbour bringing back a different guy alone every other day and spot her holding hands with one today? ...so wad should he conclude if he knows that he is almost the only guy i invite to my kitchen to eat my (horrid, poisonous) cooking? does he not know? has he not concluded? or is he just pretending he didnt know and would never do? i need sleep... badly... ta! ----Stef stopped rambling at 01:06 --Link to Post |
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