| 20.10.04 |
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lots of thoughts have been running through my mind actually...
especially when someone i spoke to said something about "depression, loneliness, having no one to turn to, stress"... i guess in a sense it does apply to me as well... just a matter of how much... its a swinging thing... sometimes it feels terrible... sometimes it doesnt... not that i do often... but the question of "to love or be loved" comes ard again... it's not that its a huge issue... but i cant decide whether the contemplation is due to the negativity of it all... or that i am really considering the possibility... i cant tell whether i enjoy his company simply as a fren... or that i was really hoping that something would actually develop from it... not that i'm darn hoping it would... but i dont know... sometimes it happens all too often for me to differentiate between what i really feel and wat i joke to my frenz about... it sux... i'm just one confused individual... not knowing what to do... i know i'm not the kind of person he is looking for... i know... he sat to my right yesterday... couldnt help but steal glances... praying hard he does not notice... he didnt... he wouldnt... he couldnt have... maybe it should just remain this way... i think i'm hoping it does... this isnt the time... and i know that... i have a crap load of things to do... i better get down to doing them... so that i'll, at least, make it pass sem1... will go down for surfing this weekend... yeah. i will... ----Stef stopped rambling at 14:06 --Link to Post |
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