| 29.10.04 |
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having a terrible headache cum fever now....
i know i shouldnt have played basketball... but i couldnt help it... its been months since i last got to play... and my hands were itchy like siao.... it didnt matter that my head was heating up.... playing kinda took that headache and fever away... ...momentarily... weird how i din feel a weeny bit sick while playing.... now i'm suffering... the aftermath of a moment of folly... when self control succumbed to a moment of temptation... now i dunnoe whether i can make it to Thai lesson tomorrow or not... and i wasted so much time i could have spent studying.... darn... but gawd... i have been so work-driven that i really have no life watsoever now.... which sucks... and which brings me to my next lament... dunnoe why i'm working so hard for this team now... i have truckloads of things to finish... but the 'sense of responsibility' in me din allow me to put aside YEP duties.... if i ever had one... coz no one is doing them... i ended up folding the sponsor letters... with berw... asked berw to get the stamps for me coz i had klass... liase with the t-shirt pple... arranged transport for the mugger kits purchase... and pple are even planning to not go for thai lesson... wat the.... things like that are meant to be "everyone-suffer-together-give-each-other-strength"... but it seems the "everyone" aint so everyone afterall... it is times like these that the thought of "why is it so unfair?" kicks in.... on one hand... i feel like walking away from it all too.... coz regardless of whether i do these stuff or not... no one cares.... and it doesnt matter.... but is that really how the world revolves? ard the self-centered individuals who simply ride on the work of others? i dunnoe.... i guess that there has to be pple like me for this warped system to work... but i'm suffering... i have a tissue stuck in my right nostril... my fever is not going down... fang fang, the chinese SEP cluster-mate, gave me med from china to try... but she says it will make me sleepy... how? i need to work... i cant put it down... nor can i swallow the disparity... do i really have to accept that this is how life is? "if you cant beat them... join them..." i must appear really uptight to the others ard... its not that i want to... but do i have to? if not nuthing will ever be done... its a scary world out there.... how do i ever survive it? the everyday halloween? wad am i doing here? lamenting... wasting my time... i need an outlet... if not i might just break... where's cy when i need him... i need my sandbag back... he'll be back from aust soon... got a B+ for my paper 2... eeky result... oh well... i should really work harder for paper3.... may the force be with me... lets hope the yuckiness of it all will disappear when i wake tmr... lets hope i wake... dun wanna disappoint dr titima... she's such a sweet teacher... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:13 --Link to Post |
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