| 15.9.04 |
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lots of things going through my mind rite now...
CDC visits are draining me quite a bit... sister mary told me before i left, "think about what you did today, but dont let it affect you.." i think she was quite accurate in saying that... i tink i should focus more on the work at hand... and not the situation itself... she mentioned something about keeping some things to within our group... i believe it primarily meant the patients... i think things that i post here will not incriminate anyone... but may instead raise an awareness against their discrimination... whenever i tell my dad abit about wad i do... he would go into this long lecture about how i wont know ALL the methods of transmission... and that i should do MORE to keep myself safe... i'm doing all that i can... and if things were to happen... they will... my point is... if i were to stay away from everything... i'll be doing nuthing... and where's the point in doing what i'm trying to do? i used to think that some of the patients actually deserved their lot... and things on that line... but the thing is... after my visits... after my dad reinstated that point to me... i was actually shocked that he had that thought... and furious with myself that i harboured such a idea... the thing is not to focus on their past... wad they did wrong... but their present situation... the way they are treated now... the way society marginalise them and despise them... frankly... its sad... when you seriously think about it... sometimes i do wonder how many of my frenz would actually keep their distance from me knowing that i make regular visits to the CDC... how many would stop sharing drinks/food with me... stuff like that... but i guess Life is fair in things like that... at least i'll get to know pple who are worth keeping as frenz... distinguishing the great from the good... guannie met me before klass started today... it was her birthday... but instead of me giving her a prezzie... it was her giving me a present for my bday next week... i felt terrible... i even asked her when was her birthday... i think as the days go by... i get busier and everything... i tend to lose the human in me... sometimes i feel like a jerk... that i am losing it... the basic courtesy of remembering someone's name... keeping the door open... thanking the food vendor... things like dat... i get too caught up in the everyday of life... is it really what we are striving towards? losing that human touch... my cinema klass once mentioned... us humans are trying ways and means to make robots/machines more human... and ourselves more mechanical... why? to reduce that great man-machine divide? ??? actually i dunnoe what i talking... dont really pay attention in cinema klass... actually i do... just that i dont understand!!! bought jay chou's new CD... first heard it in darren's car... thought it was not bad... but i think ba du kong jian is nicer... oh well... and on lu's recommendation... that day when i told him i liked tao ze... i bought tao ze's first CD too... realised alot of songs on ultrasound leh... bluff me... either that or the salesman at sembawang bluff me... coz i wasnt sure what the album looked like... or wad it was called... issit taoism? oh well... the other day... had sam, shaun, chelsea, berwine, dawn over as well... sam was playing on berwine's guitar... playing/singing all the songs i totally adore... an jing, ai hen jian dan, blah blah.... woah.... he was damn freaking good... plus the fact that he's an archi student... plus the fact that chelsea says he's super smart... plus the fact that he makes great ice-blended coffee... so much so that suraj asked if he wanted to help out at his cafe... plus the fact that he writes his own songs... ou xiang!!! ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:57 --Link to Post |
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