| 30.9.04 |
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it's 3am in the morning...
its not that i dun wanna sleep... or that i have too much time on my hands... or that i just plain bored... been rather stressed the entire night... need some release... trying to write graded log entries and forum contributions... about philosophers that i dont really understand... am starting to wonder if i'm made for USP at all... really... i'm trying to catch up... understand... do well... but everything seems so evasive... i just wanna pass... with a CAP of slightly more than the required 3.5... unlike maths, physics, engine stuff... its hard to find someone to teach you a concept... considering its easier to get someone to send you a programming code... and you work from there... feel terribly demoralised... but its a knot i cant get out of... when i was working for olivier at Milk... there were many instances when the work proved too tough for me to handle... try doing production work when you havent got any prior experience... i wanted to quit at every single point... but i held back... even when i was getting shit from the clients... with that irritating lady who doesnt know where she stands... thinking that wat doesnt bring you down, only makes you stronger... i aint stronger.... i think i just got my parents really worried with my constant frowning over dinner just now... i couldnt help it... i had the writings stuck to the back of my mind... sometimes i wonder if i closed my eyes for a really long time... would all these just go away... but the answer is no... they wont... i'll have to live with it... get through 2 sems of engin + USP... decide where and how i wanna go in Yr2... finally managed to compile my tictactoe.c... thank goodness for pple like lu who would go out of their way to help you... not like he climbed mountain for me... but getting his fren's code to send to me was something i'm eternally grateful for... better than jon... who refused to send me his PrintBoard function... saying it was way too easy... so cooked lu dinner for the favour... super watery pasta.... think he had trouble swallowing that... and some of my dory fish... hahha... think he wont ever dare to step into my cluster for dinner ever again... my cooking is that BAD... though he has to meet me some time soon to get the muesli bars he left at my place... din check whether he had stomach ache today though... hope not... had the worst programming lab ever today... was such a crazy program to write... i din even manage to compile a proper PrintPlate... was just typing alot alot of stuff... so that my TA can give me some marks for some of them... hopefully he doesnt give me a zero to make up for the fact that i made him go through that crap... oh well... if it wasnt meant to be... it wasnt meant to be... i should be sleeping soon really... having a 8 o'clock tomorrow... then a chiong day till 6 with only a lunch break... friday is almost the same... only problem is that i have tutorials and lab galore... and i havent started on any of them... dont think i'll be able to start wsfing anytime soon... need to get my equipment down from NSC to PFSSC... will take some co-ordination between me, andrew and sam... considering my things are all over the place... sam is rite in saying that i alwaz take long breaks, throw my things everywhere, come back and start looking... which is stupid really.... bad habit of mine.... i do miss the sun, sand sea now... hope to touch water soon... did i mention i made a new fren while waiting for mr tan that day? was surprised that i could get along pretty well with him... tim's fren, just graduated from NUS... recreational wsfer... we talked loads... quite amazing coz i usually take some time to open up to pple... before bombarding them with my incessant crap... weird ways of meeting new pple... but oh well... i dont think i have a problem with that... pack bag and sleep time.... zZzZzzZZzzzZZzzzZZzzzzZ.... ----Stef stopped rambling at 03:03 --Link to Post |
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