| 15.3.04 |
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was just talking to ben k the other day...
abt me and my 'unfinished business'... you know... friendships and relationships that came to an abrupt end... without a proper closure... damn... it feels as if it happens to me really often... but when i do try to recall pple i've failed communicating with... i dont get a really long list... i guess the topic came up the other day coz i felt it was happening again... with mr koh... think i never mentioned it here... but i apologised to him abt me being entirely impetuous... and he said i reminded him of himself when he was younger... oh well... but back to 'unfinished business'... i'm not that much of a people person... maybe its just me... but such things kinda weigh me down alot... coz there will alwaz be a 'what if' that you'll never find out... sometimes it hurts... that beautiful friendships wound up this way... and i have no one to blame but myself... and no matter how great your life looks on the outside... there is alwaz something missing inside... the unanswered questions... let me try listing... 1. like with ben w... i never got to know what he really thought... but with him... at least i know i tried to salvage whatever was left... maybe i overdid it... maybe not... maybe the fact that i din want to lose the friendship accelerated the loss... thats how things go actually... but i learnt and grown from that... i still ask 'what if'... but i've moved on... contradicting? maybe... maybe its just that i dont expect anything anymore... so that's one... 2. a girl called esther in my primary school... we used to be really good pals... i dunnoe... somehow... i think something happened.... i lost trust in her... we began the irritating comparing of grades and teachers' favour... my pals started to dislike her as well... we never spoke again... not even when we left primary school... sometimes... i dunnoe whether this was worth salvaging... but i guess... there is, once again, the 'what if'... 3. wf din end that amiacably... sucky eh? while it was a unanimous decision... it felt a little sore actually... coz i never got to know his reason for it... while he wanted to tell me recently... reckon i rather not know... oh well... think i'm getting along fine with his bro... maybe it's a form of make up la... 4. cant think of anyone at the moment... but i'm sure i've offended loads of pple... some of them even reading this blog... hehhee... running late... going to visit nanny... and having that kid climb all over me... literally... he's a tough cookie... maybe i'll have to use some of the moves i practised while watching WWE... ----Stef stopped rambling at 13:24 --Link to Post |
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