| 24.3.04 |
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read till about 4am last nite...
was totally captivated by the book... so it wasnt any surprise when i found it was 3 plus when i first looked at the clock... almost finished it... but reckon that if i tried to... i'd probably meet my dad when he comes in to wake the kids... and i'd probably get a thrashing for not sleeping... and reading with the light on while my sibs were asleep... the book kept me awake later than 4am though... was thinking about alot of issues that were raised through it... am wondering why Tuesdays with Morrie din have such an effect on me... think i should read it again when i get the book back from ben k... it's something reading the entire book at one sitting and another fitting it into segmented parts of ur schedule... but the book made me see alot of things in a different perspective.... which is really wonderful... almost like a literature lesson... just that Mr B. Connor wasnt teaching it... talking abt Mr Connor and his lit lesson... i think i miss it thoroughly... it was one of the very rare chances that students actually had the opportunity to raise issues, doubts and their views on practically everything on the text... i've alwaz found it rather rude of us to disseminate the book into its technicalities like we alwaz do in lit lessons... i've alwaz considered a good book as a work of art... why should we be peering at wad brand of paint van gogh used... but Mr Connor alwaz made it so interesting... that it was a sin not to participate... i admit... i succumbed to fatigue more often than not... thats usually only when he's rushing through a lesson... and simply spoon-feeding us... he admits it as well... but when he ends... the questions and points i had wanted to raise simply burns within me... and then starts the firing session... and same goes for a few others in my sec4 class as well... so its really amazing the depth of thought it puts the whole class through... rushing through an amazing volume of second opinions and such... lit lesson was that very something i spoke about in the post yesterdae... so much so that my essay in my application for the USP would probably center ard that... coz truly... it made that much a difference in my life... there were alot of things that i thought abt before finally entering slumberland last nite... but regurgitating them here right now kinda spoils the sound of it... nevertheless.... they remain stuff worthy of mention in my blog... considering how "i-woke-up-i-ate-lunch-i-bathed" my blog grew to become... i'm losing that additional level of thought in my posts... esp since my job started... it changed me... the job... but i cant tell for the better or the worse... coz alot of times... good and bad cannot be differentiated as easily as we think we can... but i guess... experience... good or bad... is alwaz a useful thing... and i dont just mean on the resume... esp since i only worked for less than a month... life's very real lessons... thought about phone calls last nite as well... and how many pple i enjoyed having phone conversations with... those numbers dont add up to alot... coz i'm rather particular about phone conversations... if you're the wrong person... i think you'll probably just speak to me once on the phone.. and you'll never call back... to me... if a phone conversation has that horribly awkward silence... it isnt a good one... spoke to serene and stella really really long the other day... when i was struggling with my decisions abt uni courses... i simply had so many things to tell them... that i really couldnt stop... after one topic ended... the next just comes up naturally... i was practically pacing the balcony like an excited little child... frankly... i think i missed them... even though i just saw them not too long ago... i miss seeing them every day in sch... in the bus... or the like... i dont know if he'll read this... but yujin was one of those without the awkward silence as well... there is silence... but usually its when he poses me this ultra cheem question... and there i was... trying to fake a ultra cheem answer... but his conversations are thought-provoking as well... or so i thought... maybe i was just awed by his voice... but i've alwaz enjoyed our phone conversations... although they seem to be the reason why i did so badly for my mid year... one reason i never really liked phone calls with people i dont know that well is that it gives you too little time to think and react rationally... its probably alrite with close pals... coz they would probably let you get away with practically any trash u throw at them... not that i alwaz do... alwaz felt that i'm not a person who would alwaz react the correct way when something unexpected happens... and i'll end up hanging up on pple... not everyone of course... wf got extremely pissed with that habit of mine whenever we quarrelled... coz whenever i cant win the argument... he'll probably just hear the loud click... i stopped doing that... coz i realised how immature that was... cant blame me ok? i was oni 14... i guess the last person i've ever hung up on was probably ben w... cant rem why i did it... maybe it was something hurtful he said... judging by my sensitivity... usually turns out not-that-hurtful after all.. but remember rather clearly that after the call... i started watching 'you've got mail!' which he loaned me... and i started crying... not knowing whether it was the call prior to the VCD or the show that made me cry... i think he realised... or was it that i told him i did... that that very moment changed our lives almost immediately... maybe a blessing in disguise... whatever the case... i never did hang up on anyone again... hopefully i've finally grown out of it... ----Stef stopped rambling at 12:35 --Link to Post |
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