| 29.12.03 |
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second day of singapore open...
damn... too much behind yuni liaoz... the indonesian lady... cant catch up... winds have been strong... gusty... quite tough to handle... was on the sixth hole on the downhaul today... grateful that meng warned me in time... think he's damn good at wind prediction... man! am praying that this results will hold up for at least tomorrow... then i'll be a happi gal... still the cowardly me... doing everything VERY carefully... losing alot of places as a result... but bo pian la... scared to fall in... coz if i do... i'll lose more places... and that isnt a very good thing... uncle ben asked me abt training in china... whether i was interested in going.... frankly... i dont know... it doesnt seem like a decision i can make myself... WQ's keen... if she goes... our standards will probably be totally different liaoz... with her very much above me... even more than now.. but quite frankly... i'm not comfortable with going so far to train... for something i see so little prospects in... i acknowledge the opportunity given.... but i doubt myself... my own ability... but at the very same time... i want to get better... even though i have been contemplating calling it quits for some time... i dun want to repeat thailand again... where on the 2nd day... i was wishing it was the 23rd... if china was to materialise... i'll probably be stuck there for 1-2 mths... i dont want to regret my decision and start crying for home... parents aint keen abt me going as well... but the yucky part is... as alwaz... they'll leave the decision to me... freak... that means i'll have to make up my own mind... and i oni have one day to decide... argh!!! met up with my nanny and her family for dinner today... piangz... kena suaned by kor abt my colour... and uncle abt my built... am i really that broad? am starting to think so... but its all a matter of perspective i guess... to think i'm considered relatively smaller-sized among windsurfers... being unable to hold down my board... though i must qualify... i'm not light nor skinny... but i guess all these is just a sacrifice... i acknowledge that i'm much darker than usual pple... but cant really help it... have really really bad skin... genetic? sensitive to sunblock/seawater? board shoulders and all... man...i'm already considered unfit... i give up... seriously i dont really give a damn to wad pple think anymore... there HAS to be ugly pple in this world... i'm just making up the numbers... hitching a ride from kelvin again tmr... me and WQ... not so bad la... at least his driving not as aggressive as other cars i sat in... luke's pretty scary when he's frustrated... andrew drives like some young punk... dad speeds quite a bit when he gets impatient... hiaks! i promise to be a good driver when i do get my license... but back to kelvin... think he's so nice to offer us the ride... dun know how early i have to wake if i go ECP myself man! even andrew also seldom offer us rides out of NSC lor... frankly... i think andrew is such a practical ass... kind of pple who dont do things that wont benefit him in the end... sounds terrible of me to say that... but for me to take that back... i think he should prove me wrong first la... trainings and races recently were never debriefed... nor briefed... he doesnt even speak much to us throughout the whole sg open... nor did he bother abt the galore of mistakes i've been committing the last couple of days... man! i wonder wad on earth is he doing as a coach... jio-ing the girls helping out at the start/finish boat??? mr tan is like doing 10 times wad he is doing lor... unless you regard 10 time zero as zero... but i'm sure you get wad i mean... seriously... he has lost all the respect i had for him... and that's probably one of the reasons why i dont think much of him training/looking out for us in china... have to go... important day of races tmr... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:06 --Link to Post |
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