| 7.10.03 |
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prelim marks confirmed liaoz...
Maths: B (69) Physics: C (59) Chemistry: C (59) GP: C5 (53) really cant escape the fifties region lor... and all one mark from the next grade... am tired sick... ...of freaking lousy results which i've been desperately trying to improve... ...of doing stuff that dont matter, smiling at the salesperson who doesnt smile back, keeping the doors open for pple... ...of working my head off for council, crying, being verbally thrashed by the student population only to get a commendation award... ...of training so hard under the sun every week, being scolded by andrew, only to get thrashed by the HKGers and thais... ...of bringing all my unhappiness back home, thrashing my parents and sibs with cutting comments and my intolerable inpatience... think i've been getting my priorities all wrong... all these time... skipping training to do council work, carry out council events... missing sleep to do work, work that that stockpiled due to my training and council activities... having a horrid temper with my lack of sleep, being ultra mean to all those ard me... my nose is dripping... though at the rate slower than the flow at my eyes... everything i've worked so hard for... just come to naught... am put on the same level as pple who totally disregard the fact that they committed themselves to council... freak... somehow... though i'm supposed to... i cant take it... i have two options actually... 1. to feel damn sorry for myself... think that the whole world has forsaken me... and thrash all those who make the decision abt who goes into 'Distinguished', 'Merit', 'Commendation'... keep questioning why i din get merit considering the late nites, effort, parental disagreement and all... and think 'dad's rite for asking me to quit SC and conc on my studies...'... 2. realise i have been having the wrong priorities... start regretting... panic when i realise i have to score the milky way for my 'A's in order to redeem myself... realise its an impossibility... and start falling into the depths of grief and regret... did abit of retail therapy at compass point though... bought kueh for my granny... bean curd for grand dad and aunt... and lotsa cookies... my fav. macadamian nuts and choc chips... like i read in angel's blog... my version is... i guess there is nuthing too terrible that lotsa choc chip cookies cant cure... the laughter would probably be supplied by the pple ard me i guess... so readers take note... just dun mention CCA awards... or else i'll feel so damn sorry for myself i'll start crying again... oh yah... so gek... bad day... hate bad sales pple... the staff at bengawan solo... damn jialat... dad also commented before... the staff there quite terrible... last time... put all my purchases in small little plastic bags... and ask me carry all by myself to the cashier 6 m away... the bags had no handles lor... then she gave me that face... today... the same girl was talking to her boyfriend/lover/father/husband/son/whoever! at the other entrance... one was serving another customer... another eating her lunch... i waited damn freaking long lor... she kept looking at me... the girl at the door... i kept staring at her... argh... was looking for feedback form... couldnt find though... piangz... if next time like tat again... i promise i'll write to ST lor... i'm not being difficult... but its the image they have to uphold for being an established confectionery... argh... bath time... then maths... give me strength... my head feels as if its gonna blow... ----Stef stopped rambling at 15:51 --Link to Post |
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