| 30.10.03 |
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moved my blog...
just by deleting one letter from the add... i dont think many would find this... maybe not at all... thats my very intention.. i'm not running away... just that i need to get thru this... alone... will move the blog back post As... when my life gets happier anyways... but seriously am feeling much better liaoz... was talking to merv last nite... at least it gave me an option to simply cry my heart out... kinda realised that its not *** that made me feel so terrible... but the fact that my best pals kept it from me... merv said they might have felt confused... but freak... i could even see the look on their eyes... just watching me fall deeper and deeper w/o any consideration for how i'd have felt... even when i knew it... and asked them casually abt it... they could deny ever knowing... knowing anything at all... my world din crash in the library... but outside the library where he told me they knew... the bus ride home was spent thinking wad i did wrong... for the most amazing of frenships to wind up this way... i went to sk lib... tried to read... tried to study... i could do neither... i just sat there... staring blankly into space... sipping my hazelnut cuppacino... somehow at the back of my mind i know they meant well... but i cant bring myself to say its ok... got alot of things figured out last nite... really glad to have you as a fren, pal... love is a choice... not a commitment... i guess when choices do not coincide... u simply have to let go... i tink over the years i'm getting good at this... two heartbreaks at the most crucial times... was telling merv that hopefully this works for me like wad b|az did for my O levels... not asking for much... A for maths... 2 B/C for sciences... and a B4 for GP... muahahha... still... i'm not giving up on love... still the want to love and be loved in return... the latter alone doesnt suffice... courtships are alluring... but i will not falter... u only get one chance to fall in love with the person u'll be with for the rest of ur life... no way i'm passing that out... eyes are swelling a 'lil after last nite... hope they'll subside soon enough... need to study... need to study... ----Stef stopped rambling at 10:46 --Link to Post |
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