| 1.8.03 |
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walked to MRT with YXY today...
had 20cents in wallet but still wanted to eat the YCK uncle ice cream... so had to borrow $ from YXY... =P stupid idiot... borrow 1 buck kena suaned until jialat jialat... grr... not very worth it... but bo pian... i love ice cream... had a horrible chem test in school... depressing GP lesson... gawd... sometimes i do think life's not all that rosy for me... just that too much is expected of me... stuff that i cant deliver... it sux... ...esp when you have your team mates calling u up... asking you why you never go for training... or the competition tmr... and having trouble explaining that my dad grounded me coz of my fractured toe... ...and when you cant measure up to your peers in anything at all... i dont know why... and that feelings sux... to the core... is there something that i can do well??? i guess i truly exemplified the meaning of 'jack of all trades, master of none'... not that i am a jack of all trades... but seriously... there's nothing i'm seriously good at... not even wsf-ing... not maths... not chem... not physics... not GP... sometimes i really envy/admire/jealous of YXY and the other smarty pants in my klass... depending how acute the depression is... why cant i be just like them? looking back at my o level days doesnt help a single bit... why cant i have miracle again? heck... no point getting myself all depressed at a time like this... went Sk library to study alone just now... lala in sch with laoda... but i preferred to go home first... have a good bath... feel refreshed then get down to work... did stats for 4 hrs on end... downed a caramel ice blended...a cafe latte...potato wedges... i guess that and the YCK ice cream was my lunch-cum-dinner... although you cant really consult when studying alone... i guess the serenity really helped... other than the occasional noise from sec sch girls having a gossip session at the cafe... the library was a quiet place with nice pple manning the coffee bar... did some consideration... will try to model my study timetable to YXY's as much as possible... i guess i need all the discipline and time i can get... maybe i shouldnt go out with CY this weekend... but stay home and mug... ----Stef stopped rambling at 20:46 --Link to Post |
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