| 4.5.03 |
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argh!!!!
super bad mood today... i dunnoe why really... but kinda had two sucky days of training... alwaz no wind... gusty wind... then i alwaz cannot move... andrew will happily just come... wheezing past with wearn haw in his boat.. then just scolding me for not pumping... argh!!! i am pumping lor... i am pumping hard... i am trying my best... so for once... i would really appreciate that he'll get off my back and tell me what i am doing wrong... instead of just telling me to pump... there must be a reason why the rest can pump better than i do... i dont wanna be just a moderate wind specialist... i hate it... when the whole pack of them is in front... and i cannot catch up... thing is... i'm really trying my best... really... i never pumped till my arms ached like that before... i was really damn pissed with andrew... i almost scolded him... almost cried... but wearn haw was there... cannot make him lose face... but thats not it... its like its been two days w/o a proper debrief... sucky thing... andrew alwaz rush off to chiong with wh... damn angry lor... here i am... using my weekend break to train like some earnest ass... but he cant even give us a debrief?!?!?! i mean thats basic for every training squad lor... he damn own-time-own-target... we slack he scold us... he slack what we do... sit and fret??? i feel like emailing him and blasting him... but he's my coach after all... i need to respect him... did alot of tacking and gybing drills when the wind picked up... it was siong... but i guess it wasnt as bad as the windless sailing... wind picked up to almost 16-18 knots... then we started planning... that was shiok... really... i was skimming across the water at top speed... tried to jump a couple of times... but the waves aint high enuff... it sorta perked me up... from the lousy day... =) i'm a little better lah... but wasnt very nice to family... had dinner with them after training... guess i was venting my anger on them... started to pick on my siblings... its bad... but its subconcious... really... feel bad yesh... but i cant help it... luckily they're understanding enough to brush it off... i hope they know i'm sorry... i'm just very tired... and very pissed... hope i'll just sleep it off tonite... something in the water poke me in the heel yesterdae... i had to pluck it out... din see wad was it... but its starting to hurting like hell in the hole... pain... ----Stef stopped rambling at 23:37 --Link to Post |
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