| 20.4.03 |
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lizard just moved in...
today saw a lizard on the wall... aint good... coz never seen one in this flat since we moved in more than 5 years ago... and its a small lizard... as the theory goes... got small one... means got big one... aint good... i kinda screamed... coz if there was anything i was really afraid of... its creepy crawlies on my skin... so the ants yesterdae really got my nerves... msg-ed andrew abt not going for training today... dad din want me to go... esp when he saw how much pain i was in yesterdae... but andrew din take it that well i guess... just replied with a 'ok, noted'... yesterdae's was a 'ok, rest well'... i dunnoe whether he understood or not... just hope he does... coz i'm really doing as much as i can... not planning to tell dad abt PE tomorrow.. if there was something i could do... it was not to miss PE at least... am already very unfit compared to the guys on the team... i dont wanna beat them... just wanna beat the steorotyping... lun saw the photo of me and sam... said sam was good-looking! woohoo! second vote of affirmation... hahah... why am i so happy??? he's saying sam good-looking... not me... muahaha... dunnoe... pretty out of sync... was reading the new paper yesterdae... thrashy paper ya... but their coverage on the 'other' side of war is pretty cool... yesterdae was this shoeshine boy working for a living.. seriously... when you hear a 10year old speak like that... u can see how difficult their lives are... its heart-wrenching... so read on... i think i almost teared... ohh.. i mean get the paper and read for yourself... i think i tear very easily... alot of things make me cry... let's try listing... sad movies...pain...bottled feelings...confrontations...self reflections...memories...stress...pressure... dont think i look it... the type who'd break down easily... and succumb to stuff like these... but i do... argh... sometimes i do hope i wont cry... that i would be able to control my emotions more effectively... that i would grow up and stop expecting the world to be perfect... that i would stop this blatant refusal to accept the real world... sometimes i really dunnoe... i make myself sound so faultless... when i am, in fact, a total failure... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:17 --Link to Post |
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