| 6.12.02 |
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spent the most of tonite reading someone else's blog...
it's really quite intriguing actually... to see wad goes on in the mind of someone you actually know in real life... esp when you get to see something totally different... totally real... to an extent that freaks you out a bit... he's got a good command of the language... and words he used really hits you on the nerve... its quite painful too... to read how a person is suffering in the hands of unrequited love... in fact... it stabs rite in the heart... how a person can love another till he/she actually cries... i did too... i got back up... but now i dunnoe where i stand... not in the extent that i hurt as much... that i still cannot let go... like a piece of rope... frayed and weathered to the last thread... but still unwilling to let go... i read up till abt the first quarter of the year... blogs reverse chronologically... so kinda saw the reverse of how love can actually build up... it's quite scary actually... to see how one actually feels for another... i could never put in words wat i felt for him... never could... therefore wad goes in here were oni distant memories of happier times... never wad i felt... coz that... i could never fathom as well... oni been really in love twice in my whole life... as boring as that might really sound... i was serious in both... though the first was slowly built up while we were in the relationship... to an extent i could imagine myself building the happiest family with him... farnie as it may sound... i did... but it had to come to its sorry end... something neither of us saw coming... something we couldnt salvage... the latter was something totally different... savage garden_-_i knew i love you before i met you yeah... materialised... spoke to him for a year that seemed like a month... held him for wad seemed like a second... lost him for wad seemed like an eternity... =~( been trying to move on... cant make the distinction between being unable to move on... and the absence of a person of interest... how can i move on... without knowing wads holding me back??? thats why i'm still waiting... waiting for an answer... for the past year? it tires... fatique pulls me into reality... ----Stef stopped rambling at 22:19 --Link to Post |
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