| 11.4.04 |
|
ever had the feeling where you feel you have so much to think about...
and you just sit down... staring into space... trying to think what you've gotta think.. but nuthing seems to come to mind? feeling rather lost right now... i dunnoe why... been feeling weird of late.. and i dont know what to do to get that feeling out... frankly... life has been really good for me.. so i'm clueless as to what this feeling of emptiness really mean... feel like crying... but if i do... i dunnoe what i'm crying for... depression? i have no reason to be depressed... but then again... i dont really know myself either... put on a false front way too often that i lost track of who i really am... i am many things... too many... to be exact... i wanna cut the act... and be just one person... but i cant decide which one... i'm no schizo... some of you might have already suspected... some of you might never have thot so... but my mind aint as simple as it looks... i'm not a good person... every single thing i do... i do for a reason... i have no malicious intent... but i am pretty much a scheming person... a thousand things probably run through my mind before i make decisions... say stuff... do stuff... as insignificant as they might be... my mind processes its repercussions probably three-fold... as a result... i have pretty good foresight... analytical skills... but i'm tired... very much so... ben k thinks that i'm an angel who thinks she's the queen of deception... but really... i am the latter... maybe its just PMS... i dont know... but i hope this horrid feeling will pass by tmr... maybe its just the inactivity... i'm a person who cannot bum ard too much... i really need to go back to training... ----Stef stopped rambling at 00:25 --Link to Post |
| template and images ©
elementopia 2003 |